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Wife has no sex drive since day 1

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Wife has no sex drive since day 1

Postby jsmauel142 » Tue Sep 04, 2018 3:39 pm

Greetings, I am married for about 2 years now and we have a kid, from day one whenever it has come to sex, its always like a one way street.I try to engage with my wife with some oral sex first but always end up awkwardly kissing because she feels saliva is filthy and does this kind of tip of the lip kissing only. Till now I have not received any compassionate love making. she just lies there with no interest at all, its as if its something dirty to do (she has not mentioned that its dirty), next after penetration she always tells me she has no feeling at all which is a big turn off (I sport a average penis length/girth), so I tried clit simulation by hand once and she has some intense feelings but no climax at all (tried it for a long time), it feels as if sexual feelings are 0% at her side. She never initiates sex and when I do lot of times I am turned down. I am aware that this has happen to people with low libido, but can it be this low? I mean its as if I am being used for giving babies, she wanted sex only to make babies, she even used to verbally/emotionally abuse me when she wanted to do baby making sex and I was not in the mood for it.

What am I dealing with here? has anyone else had this experience before? I mean I have seen records online of wife's having reduced libido at a particular stage in life but this is from day 1
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Re: Wife has no sex drive since day 1

Postby wowyf » Fri Nov 02, 2018 12:36 pm

I know this is a late reply to your initial post, but I'd say it's pretty evident that your wife has some sort of sexual trauma from her past. I have had past relationships with women who have survived sexual trauma and usually they are either on one end of the extreme or the other (complete aversion to sex ------ very sexual). I would say the answer is to be as compassionate and understanding as possible. At the same time, she is your wife and so she needs to communicate openly and honestly with you. Maybe with her communication you can begin to understand what the real reason is. She probably loves you quite a bit, but just doens't know how to open up, perhaps.
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Re: Wife has no sex drive since day 1

Postby maree12 » Sun Dec 16, 2018 4:00 am

I, too, am making a late reply, and by now you may have sorted out your differences. I am a female and have been with the same partner for 25 years, the first 3 fantastic, the last 22 miserable, due to my having a stroke. Straight after the stroke I found that I was anorgasmic and this has continued until the present day. I find sex is a nuisance, and only comply with my partner's wishes so that he does not tell me to leave his house. Certainly sex for us is me in the missionary position, and he having to use a lube, on top of me. Very boring and pedestrian. Consequently he has started to suffer from erectile dysfunction, because I am no longer the sort of woman who is a turn on, who he wants to have sex with. I would gladly never have sex again, a lot because I was once a good lover, and now, obviously I am not, and find sex humiliating and tiring. I would rather watch TV than have sex. If your wife never has an orgasm, then she is not going to want to have sex. I know that when I could orgasm quickly and easily, I wanted to do anything that I could so that my partner would feel as good as I did. That is how sex works, generally, you feel good, so you want your partner to feel good too.
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