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From fantacy to regret and back, stuck on repeat.......

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From fantacy to regret and back, stuck on repeat.......

Postby Sunny7518 » Fri May 18, 2018 3:37 am

I have this fantacy that became a reality multiple times and here it is.

It all starts with me wanting to recieve anal and give oral to another man or men who are older than myself, i watch porn and fantasize about how good it would feel in so many ways just basically being a little slut in the middle of one or more men. I havent had sex with another man or given oral in over 7 years now but when i did, i really really enjoyed it all up until i would ejaculate then i was grosed out by what i had done, but a day or so goes by and i want to do it again, the urge is always so strong that i would do it again and then feel grosed out again. Now its been 7 years since my last sexual encounter with another man and the erge is still there every day. I curb my sexual appetite for other men by watching porn and masturbating or sometimes just masturbating without the porn but inorder to have a good orgasm i think obout myself recieving anal or giving oral to other men. It does keep me from actially going out and having sex with men but the desire never fully goes away. So im just stuck in a cycle of wanting to have sex with men, to masturbating, then feeling grosed out. then the cycle starts over and im stuck on repeat.
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Re: From fantacy to regret and back, stuck on repeat.......

Postby Sunny7518 » Fri May 18, 2018 5:09 am

Hopefully i wanst to descriptive, i tried to limit my words and be as pg as possible without missing the point of my post. Does anybody ever reply or just read and move on to the next. Hopefully this will get the comments started
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Re: From fantacy to regret and back, stuck on repeat.......

Postby Snaga » Tue Jun 05, 2018 10:36 pm

Sometimes it just takes a while for someone to come along that resonates with the post. I do, though. I sometimes wonder if it's not to do with internal conflict. If, like me, you'd been raised to deeply believe homosexuality is wrong, then I have sometimes noticed that upon orgasm, there's sometimes disgust at whatever it was I was watching/fantasizing over. Despite, like you, my best orgasms often seem to be when I'm thinking about same-sex activity, more often than not. Sometimes I think the taboo aspect plays into it, sometimes I just really don't think I know what's going on. It's very frustrating, as I like the opposite sex just dandy, and my attraction/companionship/romantic feelings lay in that direction. But the sexual stimulation is greater thinking about the same sex.
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