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can only get off to hetero anal sex?

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can only get off to hetero anal sex?

Postby neptune » Fri Oct 01, 2021 11:14 pm

not sure what this is classed as? can anyone drop in with their thoughts?

been like this ever since I have been masturbating. it is so rare that I would climax to the idea of penetrating a woman with vaginal sex that I could probably count it on one hand. in fact I have probably masturbated to the image of a womans breasts more than the image of a vagina. I just don't get off to it, it has always been the idea of anal sex with a woman. I didn't even watch porn to fantasize this, it's like it's always been my sexuality. the only thing that kind of turns me on about a vagina is oral sex. I did wonder whether I was gay but I find womens figures attractive and not a mans figure, I did experiment with looking at trans porn but I didn't feel that was right for me either. every girl I have dated has not really been into it. I tried to do some googling on it to see if there was a sexuality name for it and couldn't find much.
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Re: can only get off to hetero anal sex?

Postby Snaga » Sun Oct 03, 2021 1:23 am

neptune wrote:every girl I have dated has not really been into it.


'not really into it' is an understatement, from what I can tell.

And who can blame them? They have a front door, after all. The girls I know, whom I know where they stand on that, don't. At all. But a lot of guys like the idea of doing it, you're hardly alone in the basic desire to- perhaps more alone when it comes to the singularity of wanting only that sort of penetrative sex with a girl, however.

I've known guys who seemed.. inordinately into doing that with girls- there's probably a name for it or maybe it's just referred to as an anal fetish. I don't think it makes you gay, in the least. It's just what excites you.
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Re: can only get off to hetero anal sex?

Postby neptune » Tue Oct 05, 2021 10:57 pm

Snaga wrote:
neptune wrote:every girl I have dated has not really been into it.


'not really into it' is an understatement, from what I can tell.

And who can blame them? They have a front door, after all. The girls I know, whom I know where they stand on that, don't. At all. But a lot of guys like the idea of doing it, you're hardly alone in the basic desire to- perhaps more alone when it comes to the singularity of wanting only that sort of penetrative sex with a girl, however.

I've known guys who seemed.. inordinately into doing that with girls- there's probably a name for it or maybe it's just referred to as an anal fetish. I don't think it makes you gay, in the least. It's just what excites you.


that's kind of what I am trying to determine, how to classify it, what it's called, it seems to be either so rare that it doesn't have a name or i've just not been searching this out correctly. I consider myself to be quite open minded and quite sex savvy about various types of sexuality but I have never really found my tribe so to speak with this. and yes, they were quite forthright in not being into it. part of the reason I would like to figure this out is due to it being a deal breaker in a relationship. I couldn't be in a relationship where me or her were really not into it. it's a bit of a black and white thing really, it's either both of us are into it, or it's unworkable.
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Re: can only get off to hetero anal sex?

Postby Snaga » Wed Oct 06, 2021 3:54 pm

neptune wrote:. it's a bit of a black and white thing really, it's either both of us are into it, or it's unworkable.


Agreed! That's one of those things you either like, or 'don't get near that'.

Shame you're not Bi- it's my understanding bottoms are a dime a dozen... I'm Bi, and well, yes I'd be in the 'dime a dozen' category- P-spot!!! As far as heterosexuality goes, that's something that's never really appealed much to me from the pitching end of the sex act- one time I was offered it (because all guys want to do that, right?- and she offered it as a 'treat') but I just barely got to the back door when she chickened out- I was mildly disappointed but not terribly so because again, I understand they have a front door, so I wasn't going to push her into doing it- I read that the right kind of anal stimulation can hit the G-spot, as well as indirectly stimulating the clitoris, but... again, front door...

Supposedly some women like it- I just don't know any- out of those women I know that I know that about them, anyway. Maybe it's like catching a darn unicorn, I don't know.

Have you ever talked to a therapist about this? Surely there's a name for it...
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Re: can only get off to hetero anal sex?

Postby neptune » Thu Oct 07, 2021 10:10 pm

i've never chatted to a therapist about it before, might be an idea I suppose. I definitely think had I not had this sexual inclination then casual sex would have been so much more straight forward when I was younger and I would have had way more sexual encounters, it always seemed a very awkward thing to propose that to a woman on a one night stand. i've considered the idea of hanging out at gay clubs as I might find it easier to find a woman who would be open enough even if I am the odd one out. i'm sure there could be women out there who prefer it, I just have never found them. it can be very frustrating when I find a woman who is really into me and I am really into her but she's completely against that. i've chatted to some women online, it seems common that women might try that but wouldn't want to forgo vaginal sex completely which is understandable since its a massive component to sexual stimulation for a woman. wasn't sure if to start a new topic on this but could be related, another thing is that I don't get off in any way to receiving oral sex. like the idea of someone giving me a blow job just doesn't appeal at all. it's kind of the same in that it's never sexually stimulated me. I can give oral sex but I don't get pleasure from receiving it.
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Re: can only get off to hetero anal sex?

Postby Snaga » Fri Oct 08, 2021 2:52 am

You're not the only fella to have issues receiving fellatio- I've heard of other men who aren't that into getting it, & I'm rather shy about it, myself- it makes me feel self-conscious- as a bisexual I'd rather be doing the fellatio.. and when it comes to vaginas I'm likewise much more interested in doling out oral favors, than demanding them.

It's a pleasant idea and certainly tickles my sense of sight to be the recipient of that, but I feel out of place, being the one performed on. Only once has it carried on to completion for me, as a result. For me, the idea has appeal, but only in a vague sense and I don't generally respond well to it. I'm more a pleaser, than one who demands pleasure.
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Re: can only get off to hetero anal sex?

Postby Snaga » Fri Oct 08, 2021 3:00 am

That's an interesting idea btw about an LGBT hangout- Not.. well, just wondering how that'd work- I won't use the slang for it, but there are women that find themselves attracted to gay men- pretending to be gay for her to would be.. disingenuous to say the least- as for happening to pick a girl up at such a venue- and ofc if it's mixed LGBT you have to run the lesbian gauntlet, as well!

And some of the girls may be trans, at that- but then, you might find that an advantage... assuming the person meets your idea of femininity. The YouTuber Blair White comes to mind- I look at her, and see a Barbie doll. But them I'm Bi, so who am I to say?
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Re: can only get off to hetero anal sex?

Postby neptune » Fri Oct 08, 2021 11:21 am

well it's good to know i'm not alone on the bj subject. pretty much the same, more of a pleaser really.

that's interesting, i've not heard of straight women attracted to gay men but I have heard about straight women being turned on by gay porn. I think tbh if I went through with that then I probably would end up getting hit on by gay men more often then not. I have had gay men be attracted to me before, it's flattering but yea it's kind of pointless for me. I have a pretty good radar for when I can tell if a woman is into me or not so I would probably spot a disinterested lesbian from a mile away!

yea I did experiment with trans porn for quite a while, I do find if a trans person passes as female to the point where I can't tell the difference then it's a lot easier to engage with it. but I found it difficult to find porn where the person turned me on, I would go through dozens and dozens of images before finding a model that did it for me. contrary to straight porn where I would often just settle for a woman wearing the right sort of sexy clothes, and every time when looking at trans porn I didn't feel right after the act and couldn't really ever feel comfortable with it no matter how many times I have tried. I have thought about trying to hook up with a trans woman to take this a step further but I don't know if that is a great way to go about this and I have heard stories about how trans women feel used when men simply see them as objects or fetishes for a man exploring his sexuality. I guess if the right person came into my life and was trans and ok with it then I probably would at least try. I can't really see how I would feel any different though?
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Re: can only get off to hetero anal sex?

Postby Snaga » Fri Oct 08, 2021 6:58 pm

Well, I certainly wasn't trying to push you in that direction- merely throwing out ideas, perhaps a bit wryly. To me what's between a person's legs doesn't have the emotional impact as if I were all one thing or the other- I'm about in the middle between straight and gay.

But I'll finish the 'trans' discussion with, as far as this:

neptune wrote: I have heard stories about how trans women feel used when men simply see them as objects or fetishes for a man exploring his sexuality.


Yeah I can see that. There's a lot of fetish out there- the entire 'shemale' porn genre, from what I understand- how it's a fetish for guys that identify as 'straight' is a concept I have a hard time wrapping my head about- I happen to like penises, but.... straight men... yeah I don't understand.

But... I think it's the fetish aspect, for trans girls who prefer men, that is troubling- not the fact a guy is with them. If you have GID, you just want to live your life as the gender you feel you're supposed to be, and be accepted as that gender. And as far as I know, I think I've heard many significant others of MtF trans consider themselves straight. Something to remember, also- is if someone is on hormone replacement therapy, things don't necessarily (sometimes, but by no means guaranteed to!) work like they used to- so someone with a transgirl serious about being trans, isn't with them for the 'extra bits'. I has a feeling, that's more the province of porn.

So I wasn't observing what I did, from the point of view of it being a fetish- merely that, for someone who has a... loose enough interpretation of 'girl', that a girl that by definition, generally only has a back door (since bottom surgery is expensive and very difficult to recover from!)... and has the internals that make anal intercourse pleasurable (yay for the P-spot!) is a possible option. But again, on your part that would necessitate being able to be attracted to a transgirl in the first place. Which isn't a given.

Really, it was more a wry observation on my part, than anything- in my (much younger) days, I had vaguely considered transitioning, and at no point would I have considered bottom surgery.

neptune wrote: i've not heard of straight women attracted to gay men but I have heard about straight women being turned on by gay porn. I think tbh if I went through with that then I probably would end up getting hit on by gay men more often then not.


I have known women- online only!- who were turned on by gay porn. To me it seems natural that it'd run the other way- what guy who isn't gay doesn't like to see two girls, right? And Shota porn in Japan (young men together) is, if I recall, primarily for a female audience.

I mean I don't even look at porn with girls that much, but you mention two hot chicks together it's going to put a smile on my face. But.. in practice? Good luck on finding a girl that likes that close to home. Most girls I know profess an intense revulsion to two dudes getting it on.

As for women who have an attraction for gay males, I hear it exists, meh.

Which I fear is getting way off topic, my bad. None of which helps you with this.

Have you considered a website like Fetlife? We're not explicitly allowed to discuss fetish as a main topic, since our Paraphilias forum was closed- I'm not even sure this IS a fetish, as more simply a preference. Certainly your post didn't come off as fetishistic, or I'd have been compelled to not approve it for publication. But it can be discussed peripherally, so... perhaps if you approached this from a Fetish standpoint, and got out there on site for the purpose of hooking folks with fetishes up together. After our Paras forum (which had a Fetish sub-forum) closed, I went on Fetlife thinking it was a forum; and found out it's really more a hookup site for fetishists. There's a place you would not have any problem putting out a personal stating you're explicitly interested in girls who are into anal. Heck, if anything, you'd likely be on the tamer end of things, if that's all the kinky you got. It's a thought, anyway.
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Re: can only get off to hetero anal sex?

Postby neptune » Sat Oct 09, 2021 10:09 am

Snaga wrote:that a girl that by definition, generally only has a back door (since bottom surgery is expensive and very difficult to recover from!)... and has the internals that make anal intercourse pleasurable (yay for the P-spot!) is a possible option. But again, on your part that would necessitate being able to be attracted to a transgirl in the first place. Which isn't a given.


it makes sense and it was the approach I was generally thinking about it from, a practical consideration and maybe more of a correct fit for me but like you say I would have to know if it was. I think I have mostly fetishiesd it and I really only am looking at it from a glamour model pornstar perspective I should probably try to meet and talk with,get to know more trans women in real life and get a better perspective.

Snaga wrote:To me it seems natural that it'd run the other way- what guy who isn't gay doesn't like to see two girls, right?


yep along with the idea the guy could have a threesome of two woman to himself. I should be so lucky eh? :D

Snaga wrote:There's a place you would not have any problem putting out a personal stating you're explicitly interested in girls who are into anal.


thats a good idea, thanks for that suggestion. time to knuckle down on that diet and six pack!
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