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tw: obsession with self harm?

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tw: obsession with self harm?

Postby alice524 » Mon Sep 09, 2019 6:32 am

cutting started for me around 14 years old, when i also was developing symptoms of OCD, it was so gratifying just doing it ritualistically, to feel it and *mod edit* would send me into disassociative states. around this time i also stopped repressing my sexual urges as much, as a result of conditioning myself to crave more dopamine or something i'm not sure. anyway these actions were coupled by an obsessive fascination with the aesthetic qualities of knives. thinking about them, feeling the cold against my skin and making up different scenarios in my head involving cutting myself/someone else for sexual pleasure to the point where any time i get excited i feel the urge to cut, as a way of "immortalizing the moment" i guess. is there anyone who thinks similarly or knows much about this subject?

please note that shortly before then i committed an act of violence involving a knife against someone close to me, if that might be relevant at all.
Last edited by Snaga on Mon Sep 09, 2019 3:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: graphic depiction edited per cutting & self-injury guidelines
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Re: tw: obsession with self harm?

Postby Snaga » Mon Sep 09, 2019 4:05 pm

Unfortunately, whilst an interesting subject, this strays a bit into fetish territory, and as with other paraphilias, fetish/BDSM has been barred from being a main topic anywhere in PF, since the close of Paraphilias (and subforums) since 2015. You're welcome to read through the (locked) Fetish and BDSM forums, to see if this has been discussed in the past, thanks.
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