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What is wrong with me? I just can't stop touching this woman

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What is wrong with me? I just can't stop touching this woman

Postby Maxine1966 » Tue Sep 03, 2019 11:25 pm

I am 53year old skinny short 5ft2 tall freckled face thin lips green eyes redhaired soft butch single lesbian woman. People call me ugly alot of the times, and also make jokes about my looks. Ever since I was 14 people always call me names. I think I'm ugly and you can tell me I'm beautiful but I won't believe it. And that's my problem. I'm so firm in my views and I don't know what to do. Since childhood I have suffered taunts about being ugly,short and masculine. I suffered the worst bullying in high school, It was torture.

I have a satin and silk fetish. It's something you get as a child, I don't know how. It's not a condition but it's also not a choice, so I have to live and die with it. I just can’t resist touching and stroking satin fabric because It's just so soft and smooth to touch when rubbing. For me nothing looks sexier on a woman than a shiny satin or silk outfit.

About four months ago i joined a book club . The meetings are held once a week at the community center. One woman group attendee is is a 42year old 5ft10 tall heterosexual curvy hourgllass shaped attractive brunette. She has very large massive breasts and she does have a big butt. She has very olive skin. Most of her outfit are satin pant and skirt suits satin coats and satin and silk blouses. She is always on high heels and full make up on. She is curvy, tall and busty, so many clothes tend to look sexier on her than on a thin person. She wears almost always her satin and silk blouses fully buttoned to the top combined with a satin skirt or satin pants. She doesn't wear anything vulgar but because of her body type anything she wears looks tight on her. She is 5ft10 tall and and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes her HUGE! Standing next to me she looks like a giant. She is married for 16 years and she has a 14 year old daughter. She is very serious, arrogant, and stuck up. Most of other women book club group attendees seem to think she is a stuck up overdressed snob. When she speaks with other women , she tends to be overly nice and I guess that comes off as fake which definitely doesn't help the situation. Also this woman is kinda dumb. Sometimes she says some really stupid/ignorant things. Her geography is extremely bad. If somebody asked her if Australia was in southern or northern hemisphere she wouldn't know. She knows nothing about politics or the ongoing affairs of the world and thinks history is boring. To be honest the reasons I'm drawn to her are her looks and her clothes. Also she is upper middle class,stuck up snob. She is completely stuck up, spoiled and arrogant. She's a deeply unhappy woman and the only way she can feel better about herself is by feeling 'superior' to others. .

Please try not to judge me too much as this forum is supposed to be accepting and non-judgemental.

After my second meeting i couldn't resist and i started rubbing her back with with my both hands while she was standing as i was standing behind her. I said to her "Your back is so sore"((that was just an excuse to touch her since she is always dressed in satin and silk clothes). She said that community center is on her work to home route and that she attends our book club meetings straight from work and that she is always exhausted. .

Since then i randomly walk up to this touchable always dressed in silk and satin woman seemingly perplexed, and rub her back or arms the same way someone might pat a pregnant lady's belly. Also i playfully pat and slap her butt. Also before and after every book club meeting on the parking lot, I've been surreptitiously touching her massive soft breasts over her satin and silk clothes whenever i hug her, when i noticed she didn't react, so i decided to see what would happen if i gave them a squeeze, still nothing, she never even takes my hands off, sometimes we even talk while i touch or rub her massive soft breasts like nothing is happening (my face is exactly the level of her breasts). So now i'm wondering, does this mean she likes it, or she doesn't mind because i am physically completely harmless( this woman is physically stronger than me . She is 5ft10 tall well built well endowed and curvy.I am masculine but i am 5ft2 tall and skinny.She is always on high heels i am always in flat shoes.Standing next to me she looks like a giant), and would she mind if i pushed the envelope further?

I hate myself for taking pleasure in touching,rubbing and groping this always overdressed stupid stuck up woman, but i find it hard to stop myself.I have the greatest trouble thinking rationally when i am around this woman. Every time i see her walking around *mod edit*. I gravitate toward this woman like fruit fly on a banana. I can't resist touching,rubbing and groping her. She dresses in mainly form fitting satin and silk fashionable clothing. She is always on high heels and full make up on. I'm worried that I'm taking advantage of this woman. I didn't think much of it at first. She is objectively very attractive, much hotter than any woman I've ever slept with. And I feel so guilty. I am aroused by rubbing her. I hate that i have grown accustomed to it. What is wrong with me? I am too sexually attracted to her. I just can't help myself because this is the way that I am, this is how my body react to her and her shiny clothes.She is extremely fashionable, elegant, glamorous, and classy. Please don’t be grossed out. I feel so guilty but i just can't stop touching this woman. I know this sounds strange and maybe even a bit sick to some.


Often when i am patting her back, butt or touching and patting her massive soft breasts i get instantly wet. My body gets really sensitive and I can't stop touching her. So i am aroused by just touching her through her satin and silk clothes. I love her height and her curvy stature. With this touchable always dressed in silk and satin woman is about lust, not love. It is pure physical attraction, not emotional. I am touching her, rubbing her and groping her for my sexual pleasure. And she says that she is 100% straight. She would never want to kiss a woman. She is very sexually attracted to men. She is completely the opposite to a homophobe... but she is literally 100% straight.


Please don't be grossed out, but i just find it strange, that there is no adverse reaction, i mean i guess i'm a perv, i know, but it's a rare occasion when you find another one, but its not like you can just say, hey I'm a perv too, wanna hang? And i am not good at reading people, so i came here to see what others think. I am ugly. I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror. Sometimes I will take long drives and just think about how sad my life is, how lonely I have become, the things I regret, and what I could have done differently. I do this a few times a week, drive and cry. It makes me feel better momentarily.

I haven't been happy in years, I don't see any signs of it getting any better. I see most people getting excited for the weekend, but for me, I get depressed. I have no girlfriend. I have no one. I have friends, and I have had girlfriends and a long term (12 years) relationship, but only because people tend to like me when they get to know me. I've never received compliments on my looks. It's like my whole life is a struggle because of this. I never feel great or like a winner. I keep no pictures of myself. Sometimes I'll take some with my laptop's webcam or my cellphone, and when I look at them it's really painful. I've taken pictures from every angle and every single one of them looks terrible.
Last edited by Snaga on Thu Sep 05, 2019 6:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: removed some of the more... descriptive depictions, no other edits
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Re: What is wrong with me? I just can't stop touching this woman

Postby Snaga » Thu Sep 05, 2019 6:14 am

Other than being a bit handsy, I'm not sure what is gross about this.

Unless she shows discomfort, or tries to avoid you, then she can say she's straight all she wants, but she doesn't seem to mind the attention, does she?

As for how intensely you're sexually attracted to her, well, the body wants, what the body wants, doesn't it? Does seem a shame that she appears to be unattainable (marriage, says she's straight, etc)- speaking of which, does she know you're a lesbian?
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Re: What is wrong with me? I just can't stop touching this woman

Postby Maxine1966 » Thu Sep 05, 2019 2:14 pm

snaga-u261876/Thank you so much for your response. Thank you for not judging me. I am drawn to her.She is so radiant and tall and big and soft. I am aroused by just patting her. I hate that i have grown accustomed to it. I am short skinny and ugly.My whole life i can’t attract the women i find attractive. I’m worried that I’m taking advantage of this woman. I didn’t think much of it at first. Also she is always dressed in satin an silk clothes which doesn't help the situation. The cravings for touching her are becoming more intense. I am very attracted to her but only in a sexual way. It's gotten so bad I've raced home after work to masturbate thinking about her. My concern is that I am a bad person and a sexual predator for touching,patting and groping this woman. But as you said she never even takes my hands off. Often after the book club meetings when we are leaving on the parking lot I place my hands on her *mod edit* breasts *mod edit* while i am facing her she never even takes my hands off, we even talk like nothing is happening.
Last edited by Snaga on Thu Sep 05, 2019 4:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: explicit details please try to keep it toned down a bit, thanks
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Re: What is wrong with me? I just can't stop touching this woman

Postby chrisallen88 » Sun Oct 06, 2019 4:00 pm

If the advances aren't unwanted then what's the problem?
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