just thoughts

As long as i remember i want company with people younger than me.
I am a person who can feel emotionally connect with children and with all people.
I believe i have friendly feelings for children.
I feel like child too but a child who is more miserable.
I am jealous of children , they are so beautiful with soft skin.
To be completely honest i like little boys , i like adults too , when i see a little boy i feel a feeling like something slightly burn inside of me.
I fill with sweetness , I can imagine that i give them pleasure.
Before judge these are just thoughts .
I never do something to harm an innocent child.
These thoughts came at my 22 years old .
I am not different from anyone i am looking for love too.
And dont worry kids dont like me anyway.
I dont know why.
Maybe because i dont know how to express myself.
I am demisexual , i think i can have romantic relationship with everyone.
I never will see a child in inappropriate way.
Just in my thoughts i can give them pleasure.
Everyone have thoughts that seems that are socially inappropriate , have we ?
I wouldnt consider myself as pedophile because i am not.
Maybe i have some characteristics but i am not.
I am trying to be open mind and i dont want to judge people.
Thats why i post this text.

Some people just have thoughts like that. Not your fault. Just dont act on them.

Wanted to add something. I think that more people than we know have thoughts like that but dont share them for obvious reasons. About giving a child pleasure, while you might see it as pleasure they dont. It ruins their innocence.

Unfortunately this brushes against paraphilias, which since 2015 have been off-topic, for Psych Forums, and the Paraphilias forum was closed. I'm afraid the subject here crosses the line, and I'll have to lock it, and remind y'all that paras can't be the main topic of a post, anywhere in PF.

Before locking, I will add that I don't think mere thoughts are, in and of themselves monstrous- it's what we do with the thoughts. I get a lot of people in PF, anxious because of a stray thought- stray thoughts don't necessarily make up who and what we are, in my opinion. If there is a longing... still, thoughts not acted on, are thoughts that are unborn. Still, unfortunately this thread seems to be a bit beyond what we can discuss currently in PF, so it's now locked.