Triggered maybe

Would you judge a person if he/she tell you that he/she is pedophile but not harm sexually a child ?
Only express his/her desire in his/her fantasies.
Would you be comfortable with this person ?

We have to be careful with our fantasies because they can lead to actions.

I would be comfortable being around them, but I don't know if I would be comfortable about them around young children, alone, unless I really knew them well. Fantasies are fantasies, and yes you have to be careful, but I know for myself I have fantasies that I know I will never act on (it isn't even a question for me). I think that you can find a person (including a child) attractive and be sexually interested in them and never have any intention in acting on that interest (again, I know that I do - just because I think someone is attractive looking doesn't mean I'm going to try to get with them, even if I might fantasize about it).

Personally, I don't hate pedophiles; I feel sorry for them. Especially someone who is exclusively attracted to children, because they don't have a (legal or socially acceptable) outlet for their feelings. It must be a struggle for them, everyday. I feel that we need to help them to channel their interests to more socially/age appropriate outlets. Coming down on them, shunning them, for their thoughts and desires (not their behaviors, that is very different!) isn't helpful.

My mind is constantly 'percolating' with thoughts throughout the day and at night in my dreams. If I am idle at work and under high stress, my thoughts may turn to inappropriate things. Not children per se, but other sexual fantasies.
I too, would never normally act on these fantasies. I consider them mind-noise.
I have relatively good judgement these days. Back when I drank, I did make missteps and I do regret those times.
When interviewing sexual predators, many of them had been drinking or drugging when they crossed a line and their sexual drives became a heinous criminal act.
I never got to that point, but I was shaken when recalling my past drunken behavior that could have easily overstepped my usual polite disposition, common decency and gentlemanly mannerisms.
It was a wild side that I feared. I was also a black-out drinker trying to piece together the events of the night before.
Being afraid of or not trusting yourself is among the worst of fears.

Wally58, I am so sorry that you felt that way, at one time. It sounds like that isn't something that you are feeling, now (is that right)? Are you in recovery?

My mind stays busy with 'self-chatter' when I am idle. It isn't really bothersome as I still can concentrate at a task.
Yes, I am in recovery from alcohol for 30 years now. I still remember the consequences and maybe that is a good thing as long as I don't dwell on them.

Congratulations, that is great that you have done so well! You should be very proud of yourself. I know that it isn't easy.

chocolate14 wrote:Would you judge a person if he/she tell you that he/she is pedophile but not harm sexually a child ?
Only express his/her desire in his/her fantasies.
Would you be comfortable with this person ?

I would not be offended, or angry etc of a person who came out as a pedophile as someone with ASPD
I understand what resentment can do to someones mind, and how it can twist and turn into something we don't want to be punished for.

I don't know a TON about Pedophila but if It's like sexual orientation and that the person is attracted but knows they can't act on it. I would trust that unless they are not respectful of consent and that you not only have to be saying hell yes, but also be old enough. I wouldnt prevent them from being supervised around kids, but I wouldn't give them a job as a teacher and I would try to limit the time spent thinking about it.

This is likely one of the most difficult things I assume any human would have to live through.
That said, anti depressents kill your sex drive, and I think that would be the way I would go.

I would listen to the fantasy but the purpose would need to be to assist the person in understanding why they wanted something, and what life damaging harm a child would experience, because an adult was horny.... Doesn't seem like a fair trade.