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Triggered maybe

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Triggered maybe

Postby chocolate14 » Wed Aug 30, 2017 6:34 pm

Would you judge a person if he/she tell you that he/she is pedophile but not harm sexually a child ?
Only express his/her desire in his/her fantasies.
Would you be comfortable with this person ?
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Re: Triggered maybe

Postby Rive » Fri Apr 27, 2018 2:55 am

We have to be careful with our fantasies because they can lead to actions.
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Re: Triggered maybe

Postby JessicaLuR » Sat Aug 11, 2018 10:15 am

I would be comfortable being around them, but I don't know if I would be comfortable about them around young children, alone, unless I really knew them well. Fantasies are fantasies, and yes you have to be careful, but I know for myself I have fantasies that I know I will never act on (it isn't even a question for me). I think that you can find a person (including a child) attractive and be sexually interested in them and never have any intention in acting on that interest (again, I know that I do - just because I think someone is attractive looking doesn't mean I'm going to try to get with them, even if I might fantasize about it).

Personally, I don't hate pedophiles; I feel sorry for them. Especially someone who is exclusively attracted to children, because they don't have a (legal or socially acceptable) outlet for their feelings. It must be a struggle for them, everyday. I feel that we need to help them to channel their interests to more socially/age appropriate outlets. Coming down on them, shunning them, for their thoughts and desires (not their behaviors, that is very different!) isn't helpful.
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Re: Triggered maybe

Postby Wally58 » Sat Aug 11, 2018 6:56 pm

My mind is constantly 'percolating' with thoughts throughout the day and at night in my dreams. If I am idle at work and under high stress, my thoughts may turn to inappropriate things. Not children per se, but other sexual fantasies.
I too, would never normally act on these fantasies. I consider them mind-noise.
I have relatively good judgement these days. Back when I drank, I did make missteps and I do regret those times.
When interviewing sexual predators, many of them had been drinking or drugging when they crossed a line and their sexual drives became a heinous criminal act.
I never got to that point, but I was shaken when recalling my past drunken behavior that could have easily overstepped my usual polite disposition, common decency and gentlemanly mannerisms.
It was a wild side that I feared. I was also a black-out drinker trying to piece together the events of the night before.
Being afraid of or not trusting yourself is among the worst of fears. :evil:
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Re: Triggered maybe

Postby JessicaLuR » Sun Aug 12, 2018 9:47 am

Wally58, I am so sorry that you felt that way, at one time. It sounds like that isn't something that you are feeling, now (is that right)? Are you in recovery?
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Re: Triggered maybe

Postby Wally58 » Sun Aug 12, 2018 7:09 pm

My mind stays busy with 'self-chatter' when I am idle. It isn't really bothersome as I still can concentrate at a task.
Yes, I am in recovery from alcohol for 30 years now. I still remember the consequences and maybe that is a good thing as long as I don't dwell on them.
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Re: Triggered maybe

Postby JessicaLuR » Mon Aug 13, 2018 9:18 am

Congratulations, that is great that you have done so well! You should be very proud of yourself. I know that it isn't easy.
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Re: Triggered maybe

Postby ASPDADHDETC » Sat Nov 10, 2018 6:54 am

chocolate14 wrote:Would you judge a person if he/she tell you that he/she is pedophile but not harm sexually a child ?
Only express his/her desire in his/her fantasies.
Would you be comfortable with this person ?



I would not be offended, or angry etc of a person who came out as a pedophile as someone with ASPD
I understand what resentment can do to someones mind, and how it can twist and turn into something we don't want to be punished for.

I don't know a TON about Pedophila but if It's like sexual orientation and that the person is attracted but knows they can't act on it. I would trust that unless they are not respectful of consent and that you not only have to be saying hell yes, but also be old enough. I wouldnt prevent them from being supervised around kids, but I wouldn't give them a job as a teacher and I would try to limit the time spent thinking about it.

This is likely one of the most difficult things I assume any human would have to live through.
That said, anti depressents kill your sex drive, and I think that would be the way I would go.

I would listen to the fantasy but the purpose would need to be to assist the person in understanding why they wanted something, and what life damaging harm a child would experience, because an adult was horny.... Doesn't seem like a fair trade.
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