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Addicted to cheating. Need help and have no idea where to go

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Addicted to cheating. Need help and have no idea where to go

Postby met123 » Wed Oct 26, 2011 6:32 pm

So I've over the last year I've come to realize I'm a sex addict. I'm suprised it took me this long to figure it out but it's probably because until recently I didn't care. I'm engaged and completley madyly in love with the greatest girl in the world. Problem is I am now and have always been my whole life a cheater. Like anyone anywhere anytime cheater. When I met my girlfriend it was "ok, I'm done cheating. Never on her."Then it was "ok, but only if someone really attractive approaches me, I won't initiate it." That happened once and I cheated. Then it was "ok I'll just look online but only if they're very attractive and far away" That happened and I cheated...a bunch of times. And now I'm right back to searching on online sites, meeting girls wherever, they only have to be average not even really attractive and personality doesn't matter. In our first 2 years together I cheated once, one time, with the girl that approached me. This last year it's been a free for all. Ten girls about, I'm the one that seeks them out (all online) and God knows how many times I've not worried about a condom. To make everything worse I have feelings for some and just can't let go. I've read some posts on here about love addiction and feel like it may be partly that. It's like 50/50 between sex and emotions for me. Only it will NEVER be enough. I'm seeing 4 girls right now, all on an emotional basis (not just sex) and I'm still looking for more. I need help, seriously. I feel hopeless. It's all gonna come crashing down and I just feel like I don't even want to be alive anymore because of it but I can't ######6 stop. I know there are some root causes. I was sexually abused when I was a small kid (like 5 or 6 I don't really remember I blocked it out for years) and my dad is a serial cheater too. Probably worse than me. And not to make a long story longer but I also have an alcohol problem but only when I'm home with my girlfriend. I have to chalk it up to feelings of guilt and trying to just drink them away...? Maybe I don't know. Anyway if there's anyone here that has either been through this and beaten it, or is QUALIFIED with degree on the subject of sexual disorder (I don't need help from people guessing. I have idiot friends for that) please let me know what you think I should do. This is spiraling out of control...
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Re: Addicted to cheating. Need help and have no idea where t

Postby jasmin » Mon Oct 31, 2011 6:57 pm

Hi, met! I'm afraid there are no psychs with degrees posting here, but you might find inspiration by looking through the threads that other people made. Have you tried looking for a place that helps sex addicts in your area? They might have counseling and group therapy there.
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Re: Addicted to cheating. Need help and have no idea where t

Postby AlexKatehakis » Tue Nov 01, 2011 9:26 pm

Hi met123,

Yes, you are a sex addict with some love addiction too it sounds like. You have a very clear picture of your situation, and yes, it is a progressive disease that will only get worse. You're already having suicidal thoughts, and that's about as serious as gets. This is a deadly disease, it is very serious. I advise you to get into treatment for sex addiction immediately. You can look up a qualified sex addiction therapist in your area through iitap.com, also there are 12-Step meetings around the world now for sex addiction in programs like Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA), Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA), and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA). At our clinic, we encourage clients to commit both to professional treatment and 12-Step programs. We've found that these two resources work well together to bring lasting recovery.

Please take the Hypersexual Behavior Inventory (HBI) test here and bring the results to your therapist. http://thecenterforhealthysex.com/tests ... inventory/

There are also inpatient and outpatient intensives at treatment centers that specialize in sex addiction with sessions anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 months.

Get help now. You've taken the first step. Professional help and 12-Support is available.

Sincerely,
Alex Katehakis
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