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Need help in overcoming massage parlors

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Need help in overcoming massage parlors

Postby mtph62 » Thu Sep 22, 2022 5:51 am

Hello, new here. I am 62 years old and have had a sex addiction since youth. In the last 20 years or so it has been massage parlors. Although, It has gotten more reduced in the last few years, but still I slip up ever four to six months. Sometimes I feel like I will never change. I have been married over 28 years and my wife caught me once with a receipt from there back in 2003 and threatened divorce. I am in Biblical therapy at the moment, but terrified to do a disclosure of course. My wife really doesn't want to know what all I have done I am quite sure. I have tried SAA, SLAA, Celebrate Recovery, and many pastors and counselors in the past with just minimal results. The last time I actually went full blown out with a prostitute was almost 5 years ago. It has only been hand or oral since then, so I feel like some progress has been done. Not all massages I go to have illicit behavior as about 1/2 are legit. The problem is it gets me going to another one after a legit one for that so called happy ending. (or remorseful guilt ending which it should be called). Other then that I don't really masturbate myself or watch porn. So what am I? A lost cause heading for hell? Please help and give advice on something new to try to overcome this horrible stronghold.
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Re: Need help in overcoming massage parlors

Postby Snaga » Fri Sep 23, 2022 1:45 am

Hello, and welcome to the forums!

Well I sure am sorry to hear of your problems. As CS Lewis said, sexual issues are frightfully hard to be rid of.

I take it the therapy you speak of is couples' therapy?

mtph62 wrote:Other then that I don't really masturbate myself or watch porn. So what am I? A lost cause heading for hell?

Understand I respect the theology you have going on here. Excepting the pain it causes your partner, I'm going to take the Lewisian view that there's a lot worse a person could do that be sexually immoral. If it only involved yourself it wouldn't be nearly as troubling from the viewpoint of a person's conscience. At least as I see it.

It's my idea to minimise damage. You don't do much self-pleasuring or porn. I take it they lack attraction for you, yes? I hate to suggest one vice to replace another, but I mean there are things like interactive cam sites and online venues- some of which are merely virtual- that might be marginally better than seeking out happy endings or worse, outright prostitution. It's a matter of keeping The Itch- whatever that itch is- barely sated, just enough so that you don't act out in the flesh with others. Sometimes, I think that's the best a person can hope for.
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