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Sexual Addiction Controls Me

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Sexual Addiction Controls Me

Postby missy5 » Tue Oct 19, 2021 9:06 pm

I am now 20. This started in high school and a desire to rebel from everything associated with my Mom. I would buy inappropriate clothes for my age and leave home in normal clothes and change once I got to school. I flirted and ended up having inappropriate sex frequently. I would cry and cry over this. I wanted to stop but I wanted to rebel. I felt like if I acted slutty then I would be getting back at the stick rules from home. Thru a girlfriend at school I got birth control pills and I'm sure that's the only way I didn't get pregnant. I knew this wasn't right. I wanted deep inside to stop, but I didn't. It like controlled me.

And now it continues to this day. I can't have a normal relationship with a guy because I cheat all the time. With married guys, single guys...guys I hardly know. I want to feel this slutty feeling and it seems to be so strong. Incredibly strong feeling. it's not natural. Most of the time I don't even enjoy the sex. It's just an event that happens when I wear clothes that are not right and flirt with married guys and act out. There are some times when I get physically aroused thinking about dressing that way but later I feel incredibly guilty. Really like extreme guilt.

I have tried a few books on the subject of sexual addiction but most of these are written for guys.

I so much want to finish my education and get on with a "normal" life. The end result is not that good.
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Re: Sexual Addiction Controls Me

Postby Snaga » Tue Oct 19, 2021 11:41 pm

Hello, and welcome!

So if I understand this post correctly, you have a habit of sexually acting out with an assortment of random men- and having one partner is a problem for you?

I would also imagine a lot of stuff is more male-oriented, but you're far from the only woman with a problem like this. Have you looked into a sex addiction organisation? The two off the top of my head, are

https://saa-recovery.org

and

https://sanon.org

Both of whom, I think, once offered in-person and online meetings, much like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous do. Depending on where you are, you might find a chapter of one or the other. At least one of those has a global presence, if I correctly recall.
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