I am a mid 40s single woman with almost no friends or close relationships. I am VERY lonely, but I don’t seem to be able to form lasting friendships or bonds. My only “pleasure” and “connection” is a decades long addiction to meeting strange men online , having sex with them, letting them treat me like a worthless object, and then feeling both good and horrible about myself. I am sure it’s because its the only way I know to get attention or semi-affection, but I wish I could stop. I will spend all of Friday or Saturday evening online or on phone apps, sexting with strangers , and then invite one or two or sometimes three of them back to my place for meaningless yet erotic sex. I feel sadder and lonelier after every encounter, but I my life is so empty otherwise I don’t know what else to do. I’m also an alcoholic and drug addict, which probably plays into it. Thank you