Horrible sexual addiction that is ruining my life

I am a mid 40s single woman with almost no friends or close relationships. I am VERY lonely, but I don’t seem to be able to form lasting friendships or bonds. My only “pleasure” and “connection” is a decades long addiction to meeting strange men online , having sex with them, letting them treat me like a worthless object, and then feeling both good and horrible about myself. I am sure it’s because its the only way I know to get attention or semi-affection, but I wish I could stop. I will spend all of Friday or Saturday evening online or on phone apps, sexting with strangers , and then invite one or two or sometimes three of them back to my place for meaningless yet erotic sex. I feel sadder and lonelier after every encounter, but I my life is so empty otherwise I don’t know what else to do. I’m also an alcoholic and drug addict, which probably plays into it. Thank you

Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. The only way to escape from your current situation is to seek professional help before it is too late.