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Stress and Sex

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Stress and Sex

Postby jilall78 » Tue Apr 21, 2020 6:24 pm

I have a really high stress job in the legal field. I find myself constantly worrying and to relieve the stress I'm increasingly masturbating to porn on sites like xhamster. I'm also increasing trying to lure friends and coworkers into exploratory sex, sometimes to their husbands dismay. I've even gone so far in some cases to trade legal "favors" for sex. It's really starting to worry me. I think I'm creating more problems than I'm solving. Because of my job I can't really seek therapy because if they found out my career would be over and I could get in some serious trouble. What should I do?
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Re: Stress and Sex

Postby Eognlaksnefjg » Tue Jun 23, 2020 5:15 pm

Hi, how are you doing these days?

Our circumstances are different but i do understand compulsions taking over despite knowing it's the absolute worst thing to do. I assume you working in the legal field, you know more than enough about the potential consequences.

I'm just getting started in recovery at the moment, and of course I'm not a psychologist, i really really wish i could help you more, but I'll give it a shot.

I find practicing mindfulness meditation (i think that's what it's called) is the only thing that helps me cope with stress without resorting to porn, drugs, every compulsion you can think of. I don't always do it and it's not an instant cure or anything, it takes practice.
Basically, i have to take deep breaths, sit with the urges as long as it takes, until they pass - i promise you, they do. You don't have to give in. Let the urges come and go, and take time to find healthier outlets, take care of yourself, and make some changes in your life if there are outside factors that require your attention.
Maybe SLAA meetings could be a safe option too? They're having zoom meetings right now too, so you dont even have to go in person at the moment.
I just found out about them myself and have never attended, but it seems made for people like us.

If you'd like maybe we can check in w each other via DM's too. Don't know what we can do for each other, but id like to have a recovery / accountability partner who gets it.

Good luck, (and Sorry if this is all disjointed and unhelpful... I'm actually in a pretty bad place right now)
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Re: Stress and Sex

Postby Johei » Thu Sep 03, 2020 4:22 am

Sex as a stress-relief seems great, but it creates certain problems.
Not a lawyer, but I also used to work a related, high-stress job, and relieve the stres with sex. Also, I was in an environment were sexual favors were expected in exchange for other amenities.
The problems are...
1-You will never really connect with anyone.
2-You will be cute until you are about 30. Then the hammer drops, you have built nothing.
3-When people find out, your career is over.

As the years went by, I found myself more and more interested in people who had something interesting to tell. Mere physical attraction wears thin quickly if you can't even talk.
Nowadays, I like to get to know someone, then decide or I want to have sex with them instead of nailing anything that breathes.
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