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why am i such a exhibitionist?

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why am i such a exhibitionist?

Postby MrKiwi » Fri Jan 17, 2020 9:16 pm

Hey everybody,
Well I am really glad to find this group. It is time I started to open up about the lusts that dominate me on regular basis. I am 34 year old who has been married for 12 years and have a couple young children. Though for the first decade there had not been any porn or much masturbation on my part but just a string of a few binges of public masturbation and things along these lines... solo sex while talking to unaware female operators, masturbation while driving, masturbation by windows toying with the idea of being watched by girls, stuff along those lines... These binges that would happen maybe twice a year or little more left me with lots of guilt but through it all I never got into porn or any kind of masturbation on a regular basis. That is why I feel that things have been able to carry along as long as they have. About six months ago I was researching on how to satisfy my exhibitionism thirst and came up the suggestion of webcams. This led me to Omegle while my wife was away for a trip. Oh my gosh I got so hooked that for 3 nights in a row I spent almost the whole night clicking away and showing off my penis to in girl who was interested. What seemed like the craziest and thrilling thing left me a mess of grump and dead beat the next morning with my kids...On these sites there is porn clips placed between chat windows and they don't interest me one bit for some reason. I crave to be seen by or risk of being seen by real people that it leads me into a addicted driven binge mess. I have binged on that site three times in the last 6 months and want more everyday :(. I dont hide anything from my wife and she feels hurt and mad when I have been honest about these struggles. She affirms that this is not the real me but yet these impulses continue to theme my life. Just last night on a crave while driving I masturbated with my shorts at my ankles while driving to and down the highway. As my shorts fell lower and lower I kept more and more excited. almost totally revealing myself to women in neighboring vehicles. This binge left my wife and I fight that went on till 2am as she wondered why it took me hrs to do a couple errands. Her trust that I have built up over years is starting to shake:(. I want to be a faithful and respectable husband and a present loving father along with a respectable citizen. I fear one day that I will go to far and suffer consquences for my behavior bigger than what I already have. I find it hard to know how to talk people because my problem is not porn or typicallly masturbation. my wife and I have sex a few times a week and everything is fine in that department. This lust needs to be channeled in a better way and I need help with that. Thanks for any advice group.
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Re: why am i such a exhibitionist?

Postby Snaga » Mon Feb 17, 2020 5:46 am

Hmm.... well there's a lot of chaturbate addicts out there, for sure. And Omegle, I think I've run into that website a few times.

Some of us just naturally seems to be exhibitionists... I have a bit of an exhibitionist streak in me. What helps keep me from doing any of the cam stuff, is that I can't show much- I have far too many tattoos for that, and I'm not about to identify myself by showing too much. So that puts a damper on any temptations I get, to be a show-off.

The car stuff- I would guess a lot of guys have done that at least once. I have- wouldn't do it now, but when I was younger, yeah sure done that. I sort of suspect it's not that uncommon.

But making a habit of it could land you in a lot of trouble. I'm not sure how to curb that- I know sometimes, addictions will override our common sense.

With any addictive behavior.... as a good friend has recently reminded me, the trick seems to be stopping it for long enough, to get thru the rough part where every cell in you screams to do it. Easier said than done, but not impossible, folks manage it all the time. Just not me.
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