Our partner

I have masturbated.

Sexual Addiction message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderators: Snaga, Tyler

I have masturbated.

Postby Violet46 » Fri Nov 29, 2019 6:37 pm

I have masturbated. I think it is very unhealthy. It is nowadays seen widely as a healthy and normal thing. Though I know through experience that it has greatly been an albatross around my neck.
Violet46
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2017 1:04 pm
Local time: Fri Dec 13, 2019 9:04 am
Blog: View Blog (2)


ADVERTISEMENT

A former sex addict.

Postby Violet46 » Fri Nov 29, 2019 6:52 pm

I think I have had over 2000 orgasms only through masurbating by myself. I only reflected on my behaviour after baptism in my 30s. I am so ashamed of myself for all my wrong behaviour. Also there are myths to discourage this sort of behaviour though for some reason I was not aware of them.
Violet46
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2017 1:04 pm
Local time: Fri Dec 13, 2019 9:04 am
Blog: View Blog (2)

Re: I have masturbated.

Postby Snaga » Fri Nov 29, 2019 8:34 pm

Religious objections aside, I think it is a personal problem only when it gets in the way of living life...

Not to discount the religious- if your conscience is against doing it, then you should strive to follow your conscience. You mention Baptism, so I assume a Christian faith or sect. I seem to remember in the New Testament, where it's written that even if something isn't a sin to one Believer, if it is to another, and they do it, anyway, and feel as if they'd sinned... then it sort of is a sin to them, their own conscience has caused it to be so, and therefore is something to be avoided, even by the other person, if it's going to cause them to stumble.

I'm afraid I long ago lost any religious blocks to masturbating. I now look at it in a 'well is it wasting time?' light. If it's excessive, if it's trying to fill a void and becomes excessive in repetition and time spent on each session, if it's set up to be an idol demanding time away from real relationships and basic obligations to oneself and others, then it's no better than any other behavioral or substance addiction, and if it can be reigned in, it ought to.

Aside from that, since it's such a hard thing to quit doing, it would distress me, if you beat yourself up too hard over doing it. Not to say if it bothers your conscience, you shouldn't strive to do better, but for me, in the pantheon of sinnery, actually sexual sins rate pretty low on the list, unless they also include things like infidelity- I know Paul argues that he who sins sexually, sins against himself, but the libertarian in me would counter that with the non-aggression principle... but aren't there sins that are more damaging to one's soul? sins against others are surely worse! Sins that eat a person up inside, hate, envy, resentment? Surely those are worse! would be my argument. Especially, when you're only have sex with yourself.

Not to belittle belief it's wrong, merely that I can think of worse things to do. And... I prefer to worry about the big stuff. About how I treat others. About keeping my own soul from rotting through negative emotions. Not that I don't want to be better all-round, but as CS Lewis noted, a prostitute, may be nearer to God, than a spiteful, mean old bitty of an outwardly pious churchgoer (more or less, it's a very loose paraphrase). But, as he also noted, it's better to be neither.

I think in measured doses, those that say it's healthy, have a point- release of tension, in men it promotes healthy prostrate, if I'm not mistaken, etc. But then you have the crowd that loudly insist giving in to the urge any time any where, as if people were bored chimpanzees in a cage, is a good thing- and no- excess of anything is unhealthy.
Image

Tell someone you love them today, because Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, because Life is also terrifying and confusing.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
User avatar
Snaga
Site Admin
 
Posts: 14046
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Fri Dec 13, 2019 3:04 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I have masturbated.

Postby Violet46 » Fri Nov 29, 2019 8:44 pm

I do agree with you. As I learned about Christianity first in my 30s and struggled before without a moral guide. I think my masturbation has been unhealthy partly because of my chakras being damaged due to these type of things.
Violet46
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2017 1:04 pm
Local time: Fri Dec 13, 2019 9:04 am
Blog: View Blog (2)

Re: I have masturbated.

Postby Snaga » Fri Nov 29, 2019 8:49 pm

What about in moderation, do you feel it would still hurt, or strengthen, your chakras?

I feel as if to some extent, expressed sexual energy can be relaxing/invigorating. Taken to excess, certainly not! I have had both good and bad experiences, on the metaphysical level, with sexual energy that I've used well, and had used against me. Or used myself, badly. Maybe it's a matter of life-balance, and a good attitude that doesn't set it up as more important than other things.
Image

Tell someone you love them today, because Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, because Life is also terrifying and confusing.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
User avatar
Snaga
Site Admin
 
Posts: 14046
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Fri Dec 13, 2019 3:04 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I have masturbated.

Postby Violet46 » Fri Nov 29, 2019 8:53 pm

I am glad if others have not had the same bad experiences with masturbation as I have had. I know that it has definitely been a greatly destructive thing when I did it. In fact I do not even think I did it with awareness that I was even doing it.

-- Fri Nov 29, 2019 8:55 pm --

If I had realised that sex between 2 people was an alternative to masturbating I think I might not have even done it.
Violet46
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2017 1:04 pm
Local time: Fri Dec 13, 2019 9:04 am
Blog: View Blog (2)

Re: I have masturbated.

Postby Snaga » Fri Nov 29, 2019 8:58 pm

Violet46 wrote:In fact I do not even think I did it with awareness that I was even doing it.


Disassociation of some sort? I have... disassociation issues, but rarely have I not been conscious of what my body was doing- more usually I've been a disinterested observer, when that happens.

I would say I touch myself when not really thinking about it, when alone.. but I'm a male, and I'm pretty sure that's a guy thing, as soon as we find out in infancy, there's something down there :oops: not to be confused with actively masturbating with the intent to orgasm, and be unaware it's going on. I've woke up, to masturbating, before, however... like sleepwalking, only not.
Image

Tell someone you love them today, because Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, because Life is also terrifying and confusing.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
User avatar
Snaga
Site Admin
 
Posts: 14046
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Fri Dec 13, 2019 3:04 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I have masturbated.

Postby Violet46 » Fri Nov 29, 2019 9:03 pm

I am glad to hear your experiences with it, as I have sure done it enough times, not even knowing if anyone else has ever done the same thing!
Violet46
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2017 1:04 pm
Local time: Fri Dec 13, 2019 9:04 am
Blog: View Blog (2)

Re: I have masturbated.

Postby Snaga » Fri Nov 29, 2019 9:15 pm

Even with religion, I'm pretty sure masturbation is a nearly universal human condition. While it may be immoral for some, still, I think most of us have done it. I think the best many of us can hope for, is healthy moderation and not making it so important, it harms our body, or our relationships, or our external lives (school, work, etc). Or is an aggression, such as indecent exposure to someone who didn't consent to see it. When a person can avoid all those, I feel as if we have bigger things to worry about, and hopefully the little things will fall into place.
Image

Tell someone you love them today, because Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, because Life is also terrifying and confusing.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
User avatar
Snaga
Site Admin
 
Posts: 14046
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Fri Dec 13, 2019 3:04 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I have masturbated.

Postby Violet46 » Fri Nov 29, 2019 10:30 pm

Yes I do understand. I didn't actually do it with full responsiblity as I had no moral compass. I practically did not even look back one in 2000 times to say, oh I just masturbated. I have no idea what head space I was in. Personally I feel religion has given me a moral compass.
Violet46
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2017 1:04 pm
Local time: Fri Dec 13, 2019 9:04 am
Blog: View Blog (2)

Next

Return to Sexual Addiction Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 15 guests