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I think I'm a sex addict

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I think I'm a sex addict

Postby SnowflakeIvy » Sun Nov 24, 2019 3:30 pm

Hi, I am a 30 year old woman, and I think I have a problem with sex addiction.
For some years already I have been experiencing difficulties restraining my sexual lust and needs. There is not a minute in the day when I don't think about sex and I do everything I can to get it. I have had multiple sex partners and I am currently in 3 different relationships and still going for more in order to satisfy my needs. I am losing control of my life and my behaviour will hurt those people, I know it and I care about them but still can't get enough. I feel all alone with this, I can't talk to anyone and need to be lying to people I love just in order to have more sex.
I want to stop but every opportunity I have, I take...
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Re: I think I'm a sex addict

Postby Snaga » Mon Nov 25, 2019 12:39 am

For what it's worth, I think you think correctly. It certainly sounds like a problem, especially if you are having to conceal your behavior. Not that I'm a prude, but I think that kind of thing can get very out of hand, in a hurry. You might want to look into a sexual addicts anonymous group, if possible. I know it's terribly hard, sexual addictions. Not just the pleasure, but I think a lot of times, we use that to make up for things that are messed up, in our lives.

Do you have any issues you think might add to it, such as bipolar disorder, for example? I know some people with bipolar can be hypersexual when in a manic or hypomanic episode. Have you ruled out things such as that?
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Re: I think I'm a sex addict

Postby SnowflakeIvy » Mon Nov 25, 2019 6:43 am

Thanks for your answer, it feels like it's the first time I'm being totally honest for years and someone can hear it without judging... It means a lot...
I don't have any bipolar disorder, or mania that I would know of. I think it has been like that since my sex life started but back then it just passed for big sexual appetite and served me well. I was in two longer relationships (4.5 years each) and was able to get enough out of them for the 4 first years, but they both ended with me losing it and cheating after too long period of being apart.
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Re: I think I'm a sex addict

Postby Snaga » Mon Nov 25, 2019 8:00 am

Have you talked to a therapist about it?
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Re: I think I'm a sex addict

Postby SnowflakeIvy » Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:07 am

No I have not, this forum was already a big step for me and and I don't know if I am ready to speak about it face to face with someone
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Re: I think I'm a sex addict

Postby Snaga » Mon Nov 25, 2019 6:49 pm

I think a good one might be able to see if it's something beyond the pleasure of sex. If there's a lack somewhere. Or if there's a personality disorder that makes you prone to it. I have Borderline traits and if it weren't for other significant hangups I have, I probably would have been a lot like you describe. Wanting the new and exciting and different, wanting more sex, more partners, and feeling.. trapped when things go on for too long, even though I'm in a comfortable relationship with someone I never want to hurt, still, I think, if left to myself and without anxiety to tip the scales, life would be a constant moral battle, fighting the urges.
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Re: I think I'm a sex addict

Postby SnowflakeIvy » Mon Nov 25, 2019 10:35 pm

Yes it's exactly like that... And I know it will hurt them and others but still, when I get the chance nothing else matters at that moment. I feel totally comfortable when I am spending that time with any of them, it's feels good and right until I am alone again. I am sure you're right and I should see a therapist but I am so scared. If I would tell anyone they would just think I am a slut, not that I have a problem. I have been thinking it myself...
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Re: I think I'm a sex addict

Postby Aries411 » Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:07 am

I also think that there is nothing wrong with your thinking or feeling this way. I think you definitely have a higher sex drive and I would also consider it an addiction since it is constantly on your mind and affects other daily activities.

As Snaga has said, there is probably a lack somewhere. Therapy can definitely help or you can do a lot of soul searching which would take much longer. My guess is that you may get bored with relationships after a certain point or perhaps you enjoy the novelty of a new partner.
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Re: I think I'm a sex addict

Postby SnowflakeIvy » Tue Nov 26, 2019 10:25 pm

Thanks a lot for the feedback.
It is helping me already just to be actually discussing it with people who don't judge and try to understand.
I think maybe I feel like a different person myself when I am with these different men. But no matter how many of them I am definitely not satisfied by the amount of sexual encounters...
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