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Can we change the sexual addiction into another addiction?

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Re: Can we change the sexual addiction into another addiction?

Postby Tony12Max » Fri Nov 15, 2019 4:34 am

Snaga wrote:I think those that are most successful, are those people who can fill the void with something healthy. Religion, fulfilling work, hobbies, good works, something.

Whether you gonna believe it or not but I have saved your reply in notes as one of life changing quotes.
But I want to ask: if we were to fill that void with something healthy then don’t you feel that healthy thing needs to be more powerful than the destructing gravity of that void. I mean substitution is only possible if the substitute is more powerful than the original one and nothing can explain it well than the void of LOVE.
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Re: Can we change the sexual addiction into another addiction?

Postby realityhere » Fri Nov 15, 2019 5:10 am

@Tony12Max.

"Is it possible to cure addiction by converting it into another addiction?"

Nah, I don't think so. Addiction itself is like a drug, one can't get enough of it to keep the high going, yet it's all one seems to have. It doesn't matter what the addiction is, career. sex, internet, gambling, alcohol, a sport, you-name-it, it's a poor substitute for what some ppl lack, a love and forgiveness of oneself.

Void of love is a tricky concept. It may have to do with not feeling "good enough" even though parents gave a lot of love. Sometimes love came with conditions that a child could not understand at the time but incorporated that sense of love "with conditions" into adulthood. Some ppl go the career over-achievers' route and either succeed or burn themselves out. Others under-achieve for fear of success, and continue on a failure path. Others go to other routes via sex, internet, gambling, drugs, alcohol, a sport, whatever, to get that 'high" of feeling great, however momentary the result.

In this day and age with ever-encroaching social media and other pressures besides those that a person experiences in his own family and culture, it's not a wonder there are so many temptations to go rogue in order to feel something.

I dunno if this makes sense to you.
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Re: Can we change the sexual addiction into another addiction?

Postby Snaga » Fri Nov 15, 2019 5:58 am

Well I'm hardly a deep thinker but thank you.

I think that 'healthy' thing needs to be compelling, yes.... but it's going to also I think depend on wanting to make it work- like Realityhere said, some people set themselves up for failure- I'm one of those people. Motivation is pretty key, I think.
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Re: Can we change the sexual addiction into another addiction?

Postby Tony12Max » Fri Nov 15, 2019 12:28 pm

@Realityhere I don’t know if I’m the only one whom your reply seems as an advice everyone should follow. Nevertheless, whatever you have said is a very very high thing to achieve i.e. love and forgiveness for oneself . Your remark that success is just a way to gain love for yourself is a thing which I shall follow all my life.
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Re: Can we change the sexual addiction into another addiction?

Postby Aries411 » Sat Nov 16, 2019 3:37 am

Snaga pretty much said it spot on. This void (in the support groups we call it a character deficit) was filled by my addiction and due to the strong response I gave to my addiction, I became very dependent on it. I needed it. I craved it. I looked forward to my next fix. However, once I wanted to stop and realized what my addiction was fulfilling in my life (it gave me a sense of action and thrill), I looked to healthier ways to achieve it (I started doing exercising more and doing escape games with my family - which I love). I am in no way cured, but I don't crave the action of gambling as much any more. My life feel much more fulfilled spending time with family as oppose to lying and hiding my addiction.
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Re: Can we change the sexual addiction into another addiction?

Postby Aries411 » Sat Nov 16, 2019 3:58 am

Tony12Max wrote:Take a man whose mother died due to some illness and he got so much emotionally hurt. Now the void which has been created by the death of his mother can’t ever be filled (I mean literally). If addiction is just a try to fill that void then what else a psychiatrist or psychologist can do ?


Actually the void above is quite different from the void that is filled by the addiction (or at least by my type of addiction). Perhaps it is best illustrated by the 'escape gamblers' (sorry about referencing my type addiction all the time, but I hope it can apply and shed some light it some way). Many of these gamblers are trying to escape the lonesome feeling. By going to the casinos, many feel a sense of importance and companion ship. These voids are not painful, but when the addiction meets are needs, they become our crutch. The void above is devastating and is painful. People will need time to deal with those harsh emotions and to eventually overcome them.

What can a psychiatrist or psychologist do? As I said, I have heard of mixed responses regarding dopamine. However, a powerful tool to fight addiction is CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) and Mindfulness. I have responded well with those and those are pillars of my recovery at the moment.
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