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Relapsing

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Relapsing

Postby graforlok22 » Sat Nov 09, 2019 7:25 pm

This is my first post on the forums. So, first off hello.

I've been trying to recover from sex addiction for probably almost 3 years now. I have had a lot of trauma in my childhood, and it lead to me acting out. It was small stuff at first, really. Stuff I didn't think was harmful or anything. I didn't realize I was acting out for a while. It eventually simmered down after a while, and I thought "Ok I was just being a teenager this is what they do, they do dumb stuff whatever."

But then I hit adulthood, and, around that time my mom passed away. It was a devastating loss for me. It was such a traumatic loss i was diagnosed with PTSD from it. After that happened, I just...lost control. I lost complete control. I was going out and hooking up with random men, i wasn't using protection, i wasn't being safe at all. That lasted about a year, of just full on dangerous acting out.

I came to a point where I just calmed down. I don't know why, but I did. Now I notice that with big changes in my life, I start acting out. They can be good or bad changes, but i always do it. I started a new job. And that set it off. I'm having a lot of stuff going on in my life right now, and it's starting again. I can go like...a week or two without doing anything and then it's solid months of acting out. I try to stop, but I can't.

I don't know what to do...? I honestly don't have a clue. I'll be seeing a new counselor soon, but I don't know if she'll help. My last counselor didn't. She told me "yes you're an addict, but also you're just young and having fun." which didn't help at all.

Anyway, yeah. What do i do? I know I'm relapsing. I was just out last night doing stuff I shouldn't have. I feel gross. Any advice would be nice. Thanks.
graforlok22
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