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Obsession with Interracial Sex and Need Help

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Obsession with Interracial Sex and Need Help

Postby LittleGuyLost » Tue Nov 05, 2019 6:17 pm

I'm new here. I have long been addicted to watching amateur interracial sex and it fills me with intense feelings of shame and terror. I wish I could stop but everything I have tried thus far has been ineffective. I have a compulsion to watch interracial sex/cuck videos and really feel terrible about it.

I'm bipolar and during my manic periods, the desire to see it takes over and I watch it over and over, while masturbating constantly. They usually involve young blonde women with very large, very fit black men. I'm ashamed to say that I am an African-American male, which makes it even worse. I have always been very sensitive to this kind of thing because I am afraid of being seen as a stereotype, a black man obsessed with white women has long been a taboo in America so it kills me to be addicted to watching this sort of thing.

I've never actually had a sexual encounter with a white woman. Plus I am very far from the kind of black men you see in those videos. I'm about average height and average weight. (5'8" and 155 lbs) So I know I could never actually be in one of those videos, but I wouldn't want to anyway due to the risk of STDs. it's the need to see it when I'm in a hypersexual mania that bothers me.

I see a therapist about it and I have tried meditation, breathing exercises, as well as medication to control my bipolar disorder but none of it seems to help. I am not sure how to handle this because I want to become a better person with a healthier lifestyle.

I've tried deleting the material on my phone and computer but can't seem to stop downloading it to watch it again a few weeks or even months earlier. I've tried reading books on changing the neural pathways of the brain to shut these sexual impulses down but even that hasn't been much help. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can get a handle on this? I'm not married so the idea of talking this out with a partner is not an option. Any (empathetic) suggestions would be welcome. Thank you.
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Re: Obsession with Interracial Sex and Need Help

Postby Snaga » Thu Nov 07, 2019 1:23 am

Hello and welcome to the forums!

We don't allow discussion of paraphilia, but I don't see this as such....

Is it merely the obsessive quality of the desire to watch it, the main issue? It seems as if you're also distressed by the genre itself. Which I find unfortunate- who does it hurt for you to prefer that?
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Re: Obsession with Interracial Sex and Need Help

Postby LittleGuyLost » Thu Nov 07, 2019 2:16 am

I have spent all of my adult life turning down advances (there haven't been many but there have been a few) from women of color, black, Latina, Asian who wanted relationships with me, but I never took them up on their offer. The Asian one even told me so around fifteen years ago. If a white woman like I see in those videos offered a relationship or even a simple encounter then I probably would have accepted it in a heartbeat, especially if they looked like the women (young or middle-aged it doesn't really matter) then I would definitely take her up on her offer.

I guess it distresses me because it seems so immoral, so much of a betrayal of being an African-American male. I'm not supposed to lust after a white women in situations like that. But I do. I have tried to stop, and still am. The genre itself is fantasy role-play but is also demeaning in some way as well to both me and the white women who are being used sexually. I guess that is what bothers me.
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Re: Obsession with Interracial Sex and Need Help

Postby Snaga » Thu Nov 07, 2019 8:02 am

When you say 'immoral', do you mean the specific setting in the kind of porn you mention, or black on white in general?

And this isn't a one-way street. What about white folks attracted to blacks?

I get it that you feel the scenarios in the role-play can be demeaning. But when it comes to interracial porn where the guys are black and the girls white, I suppose that's generally the most common format.
So what about outside that? I mean, do you feel you can be/are attracted to white girls in general, apart and separate from the porn? It sounds like you have a 'type', and... is that such a bad thing? Beyond the notion that a black dude isn't supposed to like a white girl, and at that, I'd remind that it's 2019, not mid 20th Century.
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