Our partner

Growing up around my sex addict father

Sexual Addiction message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: Snaga

Growing up around my sex addict father

Postby wowyf » Thu Nov 01, 2018 11:29 pm

I hate that I have mirrored my sex addict father's behaviors. I have so much disgust for him, and as a result find myself feeling disgust towards myself as well. My therapist tells me that I should't blame myself so much because as a child my brain developed to associate sexual arousal with emotional coping. It's just so frustrating to see that at 36, it's still so much a part of my life.

My dad had stacks and stacks of porn magazines, underneath his bathroom in plain view. I first discovered his magazines and began browsing them at 9 or 10.

Into my teenage years his fetishes got more extreme and I started finding his dildo's, his gay magazines, fetish magazines, and his Barely Legal teen magazines etc. Now with two kids of my own I find myself difficult to have a real relationship with him as I'm bothered by the lense through which he views life and I don't like to be in the same room with him.

Where the shame is the MOST though is that I'm so ######6 similar to him. Struggled through my own strippers, prostitutes, etc.

When I first visited a therapist about it, he brought up something interesting I had never considered and said that what I experienced in a way was incestual energy. In fact, one time when I was 12 I found a video of my parents having sex...it makes me sick to think about it. And would always find their sex "massagers" (they called them) under their bed...and regrettfully even used them myself as a kid to get off.

Ugh, anyways, I'm at a crossroads in my life because I really want to move on but I feel so ######6 stuck. I"ve got a bad porn addiction these days, and really have had that addiction, continuously, for what seems like forever. My wife has no clue that I struggle every moment of every day with my sex addiction.

Just ready to move on...to transcend this. BUt have no clue how.
wowyf
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2018 11:19 pm
Local time: Tue Aug 09, 2022 2:47 am
Blog: View Blog (5)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Growing up around my sex addict father

Postby Snaga » Sat Nov 03, 2018 4:28 pm

Seems as if we often turn into one or both of our parents, despite desires not to.
Tell someone you love them today, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also confusing and terrifying.

We do not delete posts.


Without (forum) rules we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.

Image All fear Whip Cream Head!
User avatar
Snaga
Site Admin
 
Posts: 19428
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Tue Aug 09, 2022 3:47 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Growing up around my sex addict father

Postby JessicaLuR » Fri Nov 09, 2018 8:43 pm

I am pretty sure that both my father and my (maternal) grandfather are/were sex addicts. Both had tons of porn (pictures, stories, movies), both had affairs. I think that is why I am a sex addict, but I wonder if it is up-bringing (I actually wasn't around my father that much growing and didn't really spend too much time around my grandfather until I was almost 8 ) or biology.
User avatar
JessicaLuR
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 32
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2018 3:41 pm
Local time: Tue Aug 09, 2022 4:47 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Growing up around my sex addict father

Postby TonyS » Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am

You can blame your father or both parents, if you want to stay stuck in your addiction.

If you want to recover, you need to take control of your own life and be responsible for your own actions.
You can seek help, come to terms with your past, and find freedom in choosing the way you want to live.
I learned this late in life, after making a lot of mistakes raising my girls. So I don’t blame my parents anymore.
TonyS
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2018 12:24 am
Local time: Tue Aug 09, 2022 4:47 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Growing up around my sex addict father

Postby VeryPissedOff » Sun Jun 26, 2022 12:01 am

TonyS wrote:You can blame your father or both parents, if you want to stay stuck in your addiction.

If you want to recover, you need to take control of your own life and be responsible for your own actions.
You can seek help, come to terms with your past, and find freedom in choosing the way you want to live.
I learned this late in life, after making a lot of mistakes raising my girls. So I don’t blame my parents anymore.


And I guess that means they will not be allowed to blame you one day. Parents rarely take responsibility (although I do agree that when faced with an addiction responsability is the only way out).
VeryPissedOff
Consumer 2
Consumer 2
 
Posts: 45
Joined: Fri Jun 03, 2022 8:30 pm
Local time: Tue Aug 09, 2022 9:47 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Sexual Addiction Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 13 guests