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Sexual assault lead to sex addiction?

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Sexual assault lead to sex addiction?

Postby DesperatelySearching » Mon Oct 29, 2018 2:55 am

Is anyone's addiction the result of a sexual assault that occurred in your preteens or later, how did it manifest overtime and is it something you keep hidden or indulge?

I have my own story/history. But I'm curious to know about others... if anyone is willing to share.

I've had my own sexual assault experiences that have led to certain undesirable thoughts, feelings and behavior. And I guess I want to discuss/explore how sexual assault (especially without therapy) can manifest into sex addiction.

Child sex abuse can definitely cause a lot of damage but i guess I'm specifying preteens/teens because that was my experience. And afterwards, my feelings towards sex, over time, evolved to a dark place. It was like a slow procession from Disney fairytale type thoughts to rape fantasy and darker (if that's possible).

Anyway, any insight anyone is willing to share I would be very open to hearing. And any part of my past that you'd like for me to share in return I am open to as well.
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Re: Sexual assault lead to sex addiction?

Postby TonyS » Mon Oct 29, 2018 5:25 am

I’m a recovering sex addict. I wasn’t sexually assulted, although I was a sexually active ealy teen.
I belong to a couple sex addiction fellowship and it is a common theme, a lot of members were sexually abused children or teens. The ones who got help in therapy are doing better.
Many sex addicts need professional help as well as a 12 step program.
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Re: Sexual assault lead to sex addiction?

Postby DesperatelySearching » Mon Oct 29, 2018 7:33 am

Is sex addiction a slow manifestation? Or like an immediate change in behavior?

I feel like everything was gradual with me. Being numb and almost frigid, to hyper-vigilant, then over sexualizing myself (but still not allowing a lot of physical interaction) then being really confused about what was "normal"-- so basically not know what my boundaries should be and therefore letting things go on past my comfort zone because I thought my feelings were flawed.

And then...darker stuff. And I feel like this "phase" is directly connected to my self esteem. When I'm in a bad place then the darker stuff is what I'm seeking out. Not for pleasure. Its a different sort of feeling. Compulsion maybe. But I'm pretty sure it has to do with how I feel about myself.

I dunno. I'm still trying to wrap my head around all of this. And now, its like I'm hung up on that one aspect-- knowing how the addiction manifested in other. What was the evolution? I'm not even sure why this is so important to me.

I thought I was fine for years but when i look back I can see how/when I started to move towards where I am now. And I can look at the things that happen to me and see how it messed with me so that I know seek out those destructive things.
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Re: Sexual assault lead to sex addiction?

Postby Snaga » Sat Nov 03, 2018 4:11 pm

I know rape survivors that have a fantasy life consisting of being restrained and raped. She and I decided yeah that's probably pretty common to fantasize revolving around past sexual abuse. I was groomed by a pederast in my early teen years, and I think it affected my sexuality (or at least, solidified it), and I've had many related sexual fantasies related around the concept of being used and pulled into a life of sexual predation.

For me it wasn't slow. I mean as a young male, I would have been a little horndog already but whilst my abuser backed off (was discovered) my brain went into overdrive. Although because of my personality I didn't act out with others. If I had been less timid I would have been pretty darn active, I suspect. But I never really went thru any phases. It's like he turned on the sexual desire like a light switch.

Even though I have had a mundane sex life because of my introverted nature, I have always thought of myself as something of a sex addict on account of it's such a big thing in my head, or at least, was. For me, most all my acting out was turned inward, however. But if the definition of addiction is something that takes too large a chunk of your thoughts/actions/attention, well, then I'd say I had issues.
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Re: Sexual assault lead to sex addiction?

Postby JessicaLuR » Fri Nov 09, 2018 8:49 pm

I am a sex addict and I was sexually assaulted, but I was a sex addict, first.
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Re: Sexual assault lead to sex addiction?

Postby Mrahj » Fri Jan 11, 2019 2:36 am

I was a 13 year old when my abuse began. Not violent or anything but abuse which lasted more than a couple of years. Since That time I am what I consider hyper sexual- most of it outside normal or what one might consider normal. Oral sex with other guys once in a while, (have stopped that for some time) massage parlor, saw a transsexual a couple of times, and porn. I swear I was a normal kid with normal urges. It changed after I was molested...
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