Webcam girl, relationship, I cant think clear

Hi, Im new in this forum and I'm very ashamed for being here but I need help.
I'm in a lonely moment of my life(coz personal decision). I was doing well until one day I entered to a webcam site. I found a girl there that I really like her and I had a pvt. After that I started to talk more serious with her almost daily. Well after some month I can tell we created a really nice "relationship". I really think she is 100% legit with me and I tested her so many times about it, so that's not a problem and if she fooled me, I wouldnt be angry. The problem is that i know it's an impossible ilusion relationship an Im struggling myself to stop it but I cant. When Im with her it's the moment on the day im happier(and no, most of the time we dont do sexual stuff), when i receive a notification on my cel from her my heart beats faster, I feel like a teenager and It makes me feel stupid. My rational part knows what I have to do: tell her thank you for everything, close the accounts and block her from my phone, but my heart cant do that, only thinking it's painful. Also it hurts when I know she is in pvt. The question is: does anyone have a suggestion about how I can make the first step?
Thanks

Please break the spell that has been placed on you. She is in a business. You are in too deep.
If you need help, get off the internet and call a therapist/counselor for an appointment or go to a 12-step meeting.
If you have made a personal choice to be alone, fine. You may want to find out why and compensate.
Best of luck to you.

She's a professional. You didn't mention the money, but I'm guessing you're spending a lot. Try to stop spending money and see what happens. You're "relationship" will evaporate like you never knew her.

What you get from her you can get from others. It's a normal fact of life. Birds of a feather flock together. You have to develop relationships with real people who care about you for who you are and not for how deep your pockets are.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm stuck in a similar bind, but fortunately I'm married to a woman who watches my spending like a hawk. If I go over budget I have to explain and it's not easy. So I find ways to satisfy my urges for free or near free.

Oh, and yes, web cam girls are way outside my budget so I avoid sites like chaturbate like the plague. Just like if I was hooked on gambling, I would stay away from casinos and Las Vegas. And since I'm a recovering alcoholic, I stay away from bars too.

SAA has an excellent 12 step program if you're interested. https://saa-recovery.org/ 12 step programs saved my life.