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Was I just assaulted?

Open Discussions About Sexual Abuse and Incest.

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Was I assaulted?

Yes this sounds like SA
0
No votes
No, you just don’t remember changing while sleeping.
0
No votes
I don’t know.
3
100%
 
Total votes : 3

Was I just assaulted?

Postby Usernameinvalid » Fri Nov 19, 2021 5:34 am

Hello.
So, I’m (f25) looking for some advice as I’m not sure who to bring this up to to talk about. I don’t think it’s like a super crazy event but it’s definitely made me uncomfortable. My on again off again boyfriend(M26) had sent officially moved in but it’s in the works. We’ve known each other for almost two years. I don’t want to give out to much information as I really hate airing dirty laundry.
This past week I was away staying with family. Last night I came home after a triggering event happened and was kind of out of sorts when bf came home. I was pretty upset and wasn’t really looking for comfort when he came to sit with me and I asked him not to touch me. He asked if I wanted to be alone I said yea probably and he left to shower. Fast forward we’re in bed not touching and my mind is racing so I get up to go back into the living room and take a full pill of my sleeping pill. Usually I take only half. Shortly after he follows. We think of something funny laugh some of the stuff off, order food and then go to bed. I’m super exhausted and feel like I can barely stay awake. I ask him to massage my legs and he tries to initiate sex I say no I’m to tired and he asks again and I say no. He’s dissappointed and probably pent up because he told me he had no time before work the day prior.
I fall asleep. I wake up dazed and dehydrated early in the morning because I heard his alarm, I normally don’t. I have no top on. The sweater I went to bed with I’m not longer wearing and I’m cold. I never sleep without a shirt. Tbh I’ve always been to insecure. I’ll always sleep without bottoms but not top. As I walk to get a drink I’m wondering in a half awake state why my top is off. My initial reaction is to look at my bc who is awake in bed naked as well. I said nothing and went back to sleep. He got up and left to go the living room. I wake up again and am confused so I leave bed and go to the living room to see him lying on the couch . I ask him what’s he doing he tells me he’s master bating I say oh and go back to bed. He stops and get changed for work. Kisses me before he leaves. I’m still so confused. I find my sweater at the end of the bed inside out on the floor. I text him to ask him why he took my sweater off. He said he didnt and thought it was weird I had my sweater off this morning. I’m so confused.

I feel like if someone accused my of taking their clothes off I would definitely say more to defend myself maybe? This is a big deal and I never gave consent for things to happen while I’m sleeping.
I know he has a history with me of groping me while he sleeps. He says he’s sleeping when this happens so I try to ignore it. Though it hasn’t happened recently.
Maybe I was just in a deep sleep and don’t remember waking up for the first time in the middle of the night to take my sweater off. If I start sweating, I wake up in the pool of my sweat. That’s how I’ve always been I never wake up with less clothes on.
Maybe I am just starting to sleep walk or something? Sleep change? I feel uncomfortable but am not sure if maybe this is just previous SA from other people sending my false signals or if I should actually be concerned.
I’ve taken time off work for health reasons. It feels like theirs been a change in our power dynamic. Like he’s a care giver now. It infuriates me. Maybe this also makes me uncomfortable and I’m jumping to conclusions.
Am I going crazy and imaging all this weirdness , is my brain suffering from short term memory loss ? or what! Any advice is appreciated.
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Re: Was I just assaulted?

Postby Snaga » Sat Nov 20, 2021 3:43 am

Hello, and welcome!

I think I'd be curious in what you take to help sleep? And what are possible side effects? Since you took twice your usual dose.

I'd also point out, that if you are uneasy about what your b/f might do, then I might wonder about the wisdom of cohabitating...
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