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Considering Pressing Charges and Need Advice

Open Discussions About Sexual Abuse and Incest.

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Considering Pressing Charges and Need Advice

Postby smiley11191 » Fri Oct 23, 2020 11:51 pm

So I was sexually abused by my father from the age of 9 to 18. I disclosed the abuse to my mother at 16 and she didn't take action. I told her again at 18 and she told him to stop. I continued to live with both parents until 24 when I got married because I was unable to work and had nowhere else to go. I have been in therapy since 19, but never felt strong enough to confront my parents because whenever I would try to, I'd become suicidal and start self-harming again. I am 28 almost 29 now and I finally feel strong enough that I want to come forward. I live in California and recently found out that they extended the statute of limitations to be until I turn 40. So I can still legally press charges. Basically I'm wondering if anyone has a similar situation and went through the process of pressing charges. I am planning to contact a lawyer and see what they have to say, but I also want the perspective of another survivor. I'd just like to know what it entails, how much it costs, and how it affected you emotionally as well as the rest of your family. Thanks in advance for any responses!
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Re: Considering Pressing Charges and Need Advice

Postby Terry E. » Sat Oct 24, 2020 10:05 pm

We have had similar cases here but not for a while and people don't tend to hang around here. They come with a problem and then get on with their lives. I am hopeful some will drop back and and help, but I am not sure if you have tried but have you contacted any rape crisis centres. They often have legacy members who will know of people who have been through what you went through. They also often have lawyers who they may recommend.

Another one to get in contact with may be a sex workers support group. Not sure there but I know here several of the girls running it either are survivors or know of them.

I am glad you are weighing up the balance before going ahead.

Not sure if you have also thought of this, but support will be very important.

Last thought is every time a survivor does come forward like this they are doing something for all those girls/women who cannot.

I really hope you get the info you need and can make the right decision for you.
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Re: Considering Pressing Charges and Need Advice

Postby smiley11191 » Mon Oct 26, 2020 6:25 pm

Hi Terry. Thank you so much for your response. I haven't tried any rape crisis centers, but that's a good idea. I got some general information off of the RAINN website, but I will look into it further.

I really appreciated your point that coming forward is doing something for those that can't. It will take a lot of courage to do this, but I am sick of the secrecy and denial in my family as well as many other families. I am getting more sure about it everyday. I am in the process of contacting some low cost lawyers in the area, but I will also reach out to other survivors like you suggested.

Again thank you for responding and for your encouragement. It means a lot to me.
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