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Confused as to what i should do.

Open Discussions About Sexual Abuse and Incest.

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Confused as to what i should do.

Postby ItHurtsToomuch » Fri Sep 18, 2020 12:45 pm

When i was younger, somewhere between the age of 7-10, i was coerced into performing sexual acts by my sister while she was still in upper secondary education/high school. The reason I'm confused is she is mentally handicapped as she is trisomy 8, and literally has an IQ between 34 and 49. When i turned 13/14 she was diagnosed with early on set dementia. As of today i am 29, and she’s been diagnosed Alzheimer’s

I don’t know how to bring this up to the rest of my family. My father has never been a part of the family. And my mother died when i was 16. I don’t know how or if i should bring this up to the rest of the family.
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Re: Confused as to what i should do.

Postby Terry E. » Sat Sep 19, 2020 4:26 am

Firstly welcome.

What can happen if you do go to your family?
Does she deserved to be punished ?
It sounds like your family has had a lot to deal with.

Has this held you back ? Has it effected your ability to form meaningful relationships? Has it effected your confidence ? If you feel you need to talk about it consider some sort of counselling.

Take care
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Re: Confused as to what i should do.

Postby Snaga » Sat Sep 19, 2020 6:43 pm

I thought I had also responded to this- apparently I didn't.

Second what Terry said.

I looked up the disorder yesterday- I think I was the one who approved this post- and it sounds pretty rough. I wouldn't be surprised if she had problems at the time, dealing with impulse control. I feel (from my own life, and stories in PF) that sexual play between kids is fairly common- some of it admittedly less consensual, than others. In the absence of her condition, I'd look askance at someone over, say, 15 at the absolute latest, doing sexual things with a sibling the age you were. But we're not talking about normal brain development.

Like Terry, I think that talking about it- here at the very least, preferably with a professional, would do you a lot of good.

I'm not sure what there's to be gained in telling family- unless they need a warning- is she in a position where she might do something inappropriate to young ones?

Otherwise it seems it depends very much on how much harm she did to you, and whether you think she was able to help herself from doing what she did.
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