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Abuse as a Minor

Open Discussions About Sexual Abuse and Incest.

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You are entering a forum that contains discussions of abuse, some of which are explicit in nature. The topics discussed may be triggering to some people. Please be aware of this before entering this forum. If you are posting about actions of yours which you feel are/were abusive please post about this in The Remorse Forum. If you have been falsely accused of abusing someone please post in the For Those Falsely Accused of Abusing thread.

Please also note that discussions about Incest in this forum are only in relation to abuse. Discussions about Incest in a non-abusive context are not allowed at PsychForums.

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Abuse as a Minor

Postby G519333 » Sun Jun 21, 2020 9:51 am

This might seem a bit strange but I went to a Boarding School in the UK (in the 1960's). Two things. My junior housemaster used to pull me up for the slightest transgression and apply the cane, may be 4 cuts at a time. It was hard but I enjoyed it!
He would then run a cream into my buttocks and finger my anus. It made the pain go away and the ache to start. We had penitrative sex on many occasions. I didn't complain.
When I was 15 or so I was asked to attend gatherings of other men and the submit to various sexual advances. It was different age then but things were just as abusive.
Looking back I have no complaints. It was my growing up.
I read about abuse cases going back many years but after the first few times I cannot complain.
Am I wrong in all this?
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Re: Abuse as a Minor

Postby Snaga » Tue Jun 23, 2020 12:09 am

Hello, and welcome!

I think frequently we get groomed into things, that we don't see the abuse for what it is. We allowed it; or didn't complain... we reason that we were complicit, although we were the ones actually steered into the situation.
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Re: Abuse as a Minor

Postby jaus tail » Fri Jun 26, 2020 4:04 am

one question that helps me realize if the past was abuse or not is:
'if the same thing happened to my child, would i be ok with it?'
this gave me a lot of insight.
i used to visit my past in first person. my therapist asked me to visit it in 3rd person.
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