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My story (TW)

Open Discussions About Sexual Abuse and Incest.

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My story (TW)

Postby Okwiththis » Mon Jan 06, 2020 6:36 pm

I am a male, age 62. When I was 5-6, I was molested by a neighbor. He was about 10 years older. He picked me up and carried me to his home a couple of houses up the alley. Inside, he pulled down my pants and touched me. I liked it. After that, I wanted someone else to touch me like that. I somehow knew that this was frowned upon, but I didn't care. I got my sister, two years younger, to show each other and touch me, twice, but we got caught both times, and never tried again.
When I was 11 and she was 9, she was sitting on the floor in a long nightgown. She lifted it up and exposed herself to me, asking me to put my penis in her. I refused because I was afraid of getting her pregnant. Otherwise, I wanted to do it.
I don't have any bad feelings about any of these incidents. Should I?
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Re: My story (TW)

Postby Snaga » Mon Jan 06, 2020 11:59 pm

I personally don't see why you are obligated to feel bad, after all this time.

What the other boy did to you was wrong, if it was forced upon you... sexual experimentation among children is not, after all, unheard of, but with the age difference, if there was coercion involved then I'd say he done wrong. And as for you, well, again, familial experimentation before kids really understand it's frowned upon, and get some impulse control, isn't unheard of. And I think your actions are kind of predictable- your curiosity was aroused. When it became evident y'all weren't supposed to do that, well, y'all pretty much stopped.

If these had been really awful tendencies or behaviors, like how you were tempted to put your penis in your sister, I'd say you wouldn't have resisted. The fact you did says a lot. So no... that's way in the rearview mirror, you were a child, I don't think now is the time to beat yourself up over anything, or feel as if you're somehow defective, for having what I'd call reasonable responses as a child. It's a shame that we sometimes find our sexual nature kick-started by an older child, or an adult. But it does happen. That you ceased trying to further experiment, sounds as if you dealt with it, well.
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