Our partner

Building a future *may trigger*

Open Discussions About Sexual Abuse and Incest.

Moderator: Snaga

Forum rules
You are entering a forum that contains discussions of abuse, some of which are explicit in nature. The topics discussed may be triggering to some people. Please be aware of this before entering this forum. If you are posting about actions of yours which you feel are/were abusive please post about this in The Remorse Forum. If you have been falsely accused of abusing someone please post in the For Those Falsely Accused of Abusing thread.

Please also note that discussions about Incest in this forum are only in relation to abuse. Discussions about Incest in a non-abusive context are not allowed at PsychForums.

Thank you for your cooperation.

The Mod Team

Re: Building a future *may trigger*

Postby Jake95xx » Sat Dec 01, 2018 8:53 pm

@ Jupiter 777

i hope sharing has helped you today ? it would be lovely if we could switch things on and off :-) this is the only place that i can talk about my stuff, and seeing Sophie’s post has given me a lift knowing that i’m not alone, as well as music i find losing myself in a book is a good escape too

hope you’re ok ... Jake x
Jake95xx
Consumer 4
Consumer 4
 
Posts: 87
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2015 4:29 pm
Local time: Wed Jul 15, 2020 6:20 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Building a future *may trigger*

Postby supersophie » Tue Dec 04, 2018 7:28 am

Thanks again everyone for your replies. Jake I’ve read your story and I’m so sorry for everything you’ve gone through. Lots of love. Soph xxx
supersophie
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2018 1:31 pm
Local time: Wed Jul 15, 2020 6:20 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Building a future *may trigger*

Postby supersophie » Thu Jul 18, 2019 8:41 pm

Hi everyone. It’s been a while since I visited the forum so sorry for not replying to everyone’s private messages quickly. Everyone has been very nice and supportive. I’m sorry for my original post it really does look a little dramatic a year down the line.
supersophie
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2018 1:31 pm
Local time: Wed Jul 15, 2020 6:20 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Building a future *may trigger*

Postby Snaga » Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:22 pm

I.... glanced back over it to refresh my memory- and it doesn't look dramatic to me, sweetie. That is not the usual growing-up paradigm.

Has there been any changes since then?
Image

Life is short- make of it what you can, while you can.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
User avatar
Snaga
Site Admin
 
Posts: 14676
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Wed Jul 15, 2020 12:20 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Building a future *may trigger*

Postby supersophie » Sat Jul 20, 2019 6:16 pm

Thank you :)

I spoke to a counsellor but to be honest she just didn’t get it. I don’t see myself as a victim per se and don’t want to. It’s just not helpful.

Dad and I have talked a lot more about the future and he felt guilty when I split with my ex. Intellectually he knows I have to move on and so do I but it’s more difficult than that.

We had sex on Wednesday for the first time in a few months which I suppose prompted me to come back on the site. But it’s becoming a bit more rare now and every time we see each other it doesn’t automatically lead to us sleeping together anymore.

But everything is ok and we will get there.
supersophie
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2018 1:31 pm
Local time: Wed Jul 15, 2020 6:20 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Building a future *may trigger*

Postby Snaga » Sun Jul 21, 2019 1:32 am

Well it's good to hear that it's slacking off, anyway- not out of any judgmental attitude on my part (which I suspend for your sake), but out of the necessity of it someday ending and you get on with a life of your own. I feel as if you're missing out on life, regardless of anything else I think about it. But, it is your life, and I understand what you mean when you say you don't feel a victim, etc.
Image

Life is short- make of it what you can, while you can.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
User avatar
Snaga
Site Admin
 
Posts: 14676
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Wed Jul 15, 2020 12:20 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Building a future *may trigger*

Postby GrayBean » Sun Jul 21, 2019 8:32 pm

This is similar to an experience I had with my ex girlfriend. She was molested by her father from about 6-19 years old. A lot of her negative emotions came from the input she received from therapists telling her over the years how bad it was that it had happened to her. Her experience wasn’t bad so she was conflicted. Her dad passed away about a year before I met her @ 23 years old. She got a ton of relief from role playing her experience in the bedroom with me. It’s definitely her fantasy to play as 10 year old Kacy (name changed) during sexual moments. She would be much more aroused and nearly always climaxed more and stronger when I played daddy to her. TBH it was strange for me at first but after I saw that it was safe and she needed it, it morphed into a kink for me. Something about an a petite adult woman acting innocent but aroused really turns me on. We are both in our thirties now, separated due to career choices but she seems happy still. In a marriage with a child. Anyways, just my two cents. You can find someone who accepts your situation, if they know the depths of why.
GrayBean
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Mar 06, 2019 2:06 am
Local time: Wed Jul 15, 2020 10:20 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Building a future *may trigger*

Postby Snaga » Mon Jul 22, 2019 4:27 am

Easier in your case, since her dad was dead. In your spot, Gray, I'd probably react about the same as you.

Sophie's dad, not so much... I have a hard time imagining a fellow being okay with it, even if the sex was to completely end, the fact that she still has a good relationship with her dad at all would tax my ability to be cool about it, I think. Maybe this is something that's best kept secret.
Image

Life is short- make of it what you can, while you can.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
User avatar
Snaga
Site Admin
 
Posts: 14676
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Wed Jul 15, 2020 12:20 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Building a future *may trigger*

Postby trueself » Sun Oct 20, 2019 7:29 pm

I will say that we live in different times and with the Internet we are able to connect with a much wider selection of people. We are all a product of our background, experiences and environment and there is no one right answer for everyone. There is a man out there that you can build a trusted and loving relationship with that will accept you for who you are and will not demand that you become someone else. There are many who have moved beyond the notion that there needs to be sexual monogamy in their relationship. There are many who view sex and orgasm as a necessary physical function that can be enjoyed with more than one person.

There are cultures around the world that have a wide range of sexual practices that many in Western society influenced by Judeo-Christian values would find abhorrent. But in these societies, human culture has flourished, people fall in love, build relationships, have children and have respect for each other albeit under different set of norms and circumstances.

This is from the perspective of someone whose GF was raised to accept incestuous relationships with her male relatives as normal and still has sexual relationships with those relatives on occasion. Sex in her case is a part of the bond with these relatives that she has always enjoyed. I met her that way, didn't try to change it or make her feel guilty once I found out. I don't even ask questions about whether she has had sex with one of her relatives after a visit...it may have occurred or it may not have occurred...as long as there is no disrespect or abuse.

There is love, trust and respect in our relationship and sexual monogamy is not a requirement. The only requirement is safety, honesty and communication. Perhaps the reason that it has worked out is my own experience with CSA as a young boy and the fact that I do not believe it had any long term negative effects on me as a person...at least this is the way I feel and I don't want anyone else to play with my head and make me feel otherwise. You will meet someone who is wired to accept you as you are. Have the courage to explore relationship opportunities...the right partner will come along one day.
trueself
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2018 10:26 pm
Local time: Wed Jul 15, 2020 1:20 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Building a future *may trigger*

Postby Willforyou » Thu Nov 14, 2019 2:11 am

a year later, what happened to you and your father? have you talked about that?
Willforyou
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Nov 14, 2019 1:59 am
Local time: Wed Jul 15, 2020 1:20 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Previous

Return to Sexual Abuse and Incest Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 70 guests