Our partner

For Those Falsely Accused Of Abusing **Trigger**

Open Discussions About Sexual Abuse and Incest.

Moderators: Terry E., Snaga

Forum rules
You are entering a forum that contains discussions of abuse, some of which are explicit in nature. The topics discussed may be triggering to some people. Please be aware of this before entering this forum. If you are posting about actions of yours which you feel are/were abusive please post about this in The Remorse Forum. If you have been falsely accused of abusing someone please post in the For Those Falsely Accused of Abusing thread.

Please also note that discussions about Incest in this forum are only in relation to abuse. Discussions about Incest in a non-abusive context are not allowed at PsychForums.

Thank you for your cooperation.

The Mod Team

For Those Falsely Accused Of Abusing **Trigger**

Postby CrackedGirl » Thu Oct 09, 2014 12:42 pm

This sticky topic is to be used by people who have been falsely accused of perpetrating abuse. If this is relevant to you, please post here and not anywhere else in the Sexual Abuse Forum. The reason for this is that such posts may be a trigger to a survivor of abuse using this forum. Any such posts which are not made in this sticky will be moved here and repeat offenders may be subject to further action taken by the Mod Team. If you have abused someone then the appropriate forum to post in is the Remorse Forum. Thank you for your cooperation.

The Mod Team
So long and thanks for all the fish

Now we are out of the sea and we're keeping away from the sharks

We don't delete posts on demand

The Rules

When all else fails, hug the CAT



Obey The Moderator

Image
CrackedGirl
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 51410
Joined: Sun Jul 18, 2010 6:51 pm
Local time: Thu Aug 05, 2021 7:18 pm
Blog: View Blog (177)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: For Those Falsely Accused Of Abusing **Trigger**

Postby MentalBoy13579 » Thu Feb 26, 2015 9:52 pm

Not sure this belongs here, but I slept with my brother and it was consensual but what happened after that is when someone found out and attempted to have my brother (who was in a relationship with me at the time)press charges against me for rape. My brother refused to press those charges, and told them that it was consensual and now the guy who tried to have me prosecuted for rape is now in prison...for rape.
Isn't karma just nice?
"We're all mad here." -The Cheshire Cat

Conditions I have been diagnosed with
Bipolar, psychopathic/antisocial, narcissist

Conditions I may have
Depression
MentalBoy13579
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 203
Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2015 12:19 am
Local time: Thu Aug 05, 2021 1:18 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: For Those Falsely Accused Of Abusing **Trigger**

Postby Trenzalore » Mon Jun 29, 2015 5:02 pm

I know this is an old post but I figured to share my recent expierience with a very similar situation and my dealings with child services. *mod edit* Here is my sad but true story.


My name is *mod edit* my wife is *mod edit*, On January 22nd, 2015 our oldest daughter made a false claim of sexual abuse against me. This was the 5th time in her life and the others were against other people. I cooperated fully with law enforcement, child services and the courts as my children were placed into foster care pending the investigation. I was cleared of ALL charges and the other 4 kids were placed back with me in my home and the case was dropped involving them. The criminal case was also dropped because I was innocent. They never let us near our daughter, they never let her come home. Every family support team meeting, the child services told us that they were working to reunify us with our daughter. They told us this a lot. Until June 16th, 2015, our last court date. We were told that day that our daughter said she hated us and never wanted to see us again, we were told if we continue to fight for her we would lose the others because they would open a case on them and were guaranteed to find a reason to remove them. We felt backed into a corner and were afraid to risk losing the others again so we reluctantly agreed. We found later that they lied this whole time. They never intended us to have her back, they knew within two weeks I was innocent because she told them it was a lie. She told several people ( friends, school officials, foster mom plus the caseworkers ) that it was a lie. But Child services refused to drop it and kept her from us. Now we lost her. We were told if we go near her or talk to her we will go to jail and lose the rest of them. We need help. *mod edit*
Thank you: ( Trenzalore )
Last edited by seabreezeblue on Mon Jun 29, 2015 5:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Reason: some small edits - further details in pm (:
Trenzalore
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Jun 29, 2015 4:54 pm
Local time: Thu Aug 05, 2021 12:18 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: For Those Falsely Accused Of Abusing **Trigger**

Postby CrackedGirl » Wed Jul 01, 2015 7:37 pm

Hi - it certainly sounds like you are in a very difficult situation. May I ask whether you have had specialised legal advice from someone who has significant experience in this kind of area? I think this would be the route to go down if I were you. They may be able to advise what your options are.

Cracked
So long and thanks for all the fish

Now we are out of the sea and we're keeping away from the sharks

We don't delete posts on demand

The Rules

When all else fails, hug the CAT



Obey The Moderator

Image
CrackedGirl
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 51410
Joined: Sun Jul 18, 2010 6:51 pm
Local time: Thu Aug 05, 2021 7:18 pm
Blog: View Blog (177)

Re: For Those Falsely Accused Of Abusing **Trigger**

Postby playd92 » Sun Jul 05, 2015 3:22 am

Let me start this by saying I'm not one to go to these kind of websites and set up an account and hooplah. I just want someone to know my story. To hear what I've had to say and feel. To know the truth.

I am a 22 year old female. I've got three kids, still technically married although separated and it appears I'm your average young adult. I wish I could say that were true. I've been accused and arrested on three counts of rape of a child in the third degree. That sounds absolutely horrific. Notice I didn't say charged, we'll get to that.

I had my first child at 15. I wasn't ready to be a mom but I loved my son, the only way I knew how. Which, in my own opinion, I could've been a better mom but I wasn't a bad mom. No, I never molested or raped any of my children. And I certainly would never let anyone else for that matter. I had my second child at 17. I know guys, I was a slut. Me and my second child's dad, mike got together started a life together and so on.

At the time, I hadn't talked to my dad in two years. He got married to my stepmother, dawn and she went psycho on my whole family and my dad had a choice between her and my sister's and I and he chose her and just dipped.

Things weren't working out well at home and I contacted my dad who at the time was living in Hawaii with dawn. He promised mike and I that if we moved to Hawaii he would help us get into our own place, help with the kids and give me his gi bill so I could start school. Well, three months after moving there, nothing happened. I wanted to go back to the states with my first child's father who had just gotten out of prison for stupid stuff. Genius right? I asked my step mother if she could keep my second child for a month so I could move back to the states with my first child and introduce him to his dad and get a job and get set up....while I was stating a new life in Ohio, my step mom filed for guardianship over my daughter on the grounds I was prostituting myself and doing drugs. A few thousand dollars spent on flying back to Hawaii and a lawyer, and I lost custody of my daughter to her dad on the terms mike stay with my dad and step mom. Oh did I not mention that? Yeah when my step mom and daughters father were fighting me in court, she offered him a free place to stay...weird right? Mike ended up leaving her in Hawaii and came back to the states. I was married by now and living on base. Me and mike had separate house inspections. I passed mind with flying colors and mike didn't get any good marks. Before the judge was able to read the reports saying I was better suited for my daughter, my step mom and dad just flew her to her dad and left. Mike had my daughter for days before I found out. Put a bookmark here.

After that of course me and my dad didn't talk for another few years but I still had my son who was four at the time with me. Me and dad talk again after a few years and he promises me the same thing, help, school, love. I was always a daddy's girl and it crushed me every time he walked away and I kept chasing him hoping my dad would cone back to me. I talked to him on a Friday and by Wednesday morning my husband, my son and I were on a flight to Washington state where my dad was to get a "fresh start" I wanted to forgive him and believe him so bad.

We get here, dad deploys, leaving me here with son husband step mom and step brother who was 14. My husband leaves me because it was a toxic relationship. And no it wasn't just me. Anyways, I start dating. Too much. My step mom kicks me out her house and I go to my boyfriend of a weeks house since I didn't have anywhere else to go. I wanted to get my son out of her house but she refused to give him back so I had to call the police and I eventually got him and took him to my befriends house. That lasted one night before my mom told me to take him back to dawn since I couldn't offer him and stability or financial security. It was all downhill from there.

I managed to find a room for rent and one time when my son was over visiting, I saw a bruise on his back and didn't think nothing of it. Next thing I know cps is at my door because "someone" called them saying I abused my son. Take a wild guess who that was? If you guessed the step mom, you're right. Dawn made a wild story about me abusing my son. The investigation was in place.

When I was a kid 14 I had sex with my soon to be step brother 14. Dawns son. I toolf my roommate that but what I didn't tell her was that my step mom already knew. My roommate found out I was with a guy she liked and she texted my step mom saying I had sex with her fourteen year old son. I don't know if my roommate had it wrong or if my step mom took it wrong in purpose but either way, a day later, I was sitting with a detective and being taken into custody for the first time in my life.

Arrested on charges of rape of a child.

I had no priors. Except a petty larceny charge I got when I was a kid. I had no one to call to bail me out. Even if I was released, no where to go. I sat in jail for six months. Dawn got her then 14 year old son (not the I've I had sex with years before) to play along and he claimed we had sex three different times and that I basically forced him to have sex with me. Yup.

The original charges were the rape of a child third degree three different charges for the supposed three different times. Charges went flying. I was looking at five years in prison. I had the Lord and luck on my side. I went through so many different tests. Sexual deviency tests, psychological tests, lie detector tests. The woman giving me these tests said these very words to me in the beginning "I am going to know more about your sexual activity than any one else ever will." Disgusting, abhorrent questions about children, about dead bodies, animals. I'll never forget the experience.

As it turns out, the tests proved I wasn't a sexual deviant, nor a pedophile or any of the above and I wasn't at risk for offending...again. funny thing is, my attorney told me towards the end of the negotiations that none if those tests mattered. She told me that if I took my case to trial, all her son, the one claiming I raped him, would have to do is testify before the jury and I'm in prison for years.That was a terrifying thought for me. I'm not the prison type of gal. I had children. I had a cps case i had to fight to get my first born back. I heard what they do to sex offenders in prison. The razor blades inside the female parts. I put on a great front but I was absolutely petrified. So I took the plea bargain. The last one they were willing to offer.

Second degree assault. A felony. Strike one of Washington states three strike law. I was out in six months, had to do drug and alcohol treatment and see a therapist but I was never on probation. Never have to register as a sex offender. Nothing sexual, period.

By the grace of God, I walked out of jail on that cold morning with a new mind, a new heart and have weights on my shoulders.

I have not seen my firstborn since the day I noticed the bruise. Since I was accused of beating him. I'm court ordered supervised visitation and she has denied me every time. Two years now. Can you imagine not seeing the only person you had, the person who depended on you, relied on you, called you mama for five years, completely being ripped out of your life? His mom, his sister, his entire family. He's not allowed to talk to any of them. All he'd known. Gone.

I started the process to file a contempt of court against my step mom for not letting me see my son. It did take me two years. The guilt of leaving my baby, with her nonetheless....there are no words to describe the horrible horrendous feeling. Like a deep gash that never seems to heal but always gets cut open every time you think about it. No one understands why I haven't tried to see him sooner, but that's just it. No one will understand. These two years, the feeling is similar to those who have had a child die, so I would imagine.

But now that I've actually started pursuing visitation, dawn, the step mother, is now accusing me of letting my male friends molest my first born when I had him. What? The audacity. The evil. I can't find the words to say to describe how disgusting it is. That not just her but people in general would ever knowingly accuse anyone of rape or molestation when they know the person is innocent. Just to win? Just to hurt someone so badly?


It does something to people when they're repeatedly called a pedophile. At first, I was angry. I was so unbelievably angry. I would've done anything to watch her suffer in the most horrible ways. Then, I tried taking the high road. I know I'm not a pedophile, why am I letting her get to me? Now, I ask myself everyday, am I a pedophile? Deep down, in my heart, in my mind, every fiber of my being KNOWS I'm not a pedophile or a rapist. But there's always a tiny voice inside my head making me question myself.

I've NEVER IN MY LIFE had a thought of wanting to...you know. It's so disgusting to even type it. The thought of any of the dirty never came to mind before all this. I raised my two kids as long as I could before she took them. I just lived my life and did the best I could as a mom. Now, I've had another child. And of course, no one else has any of those "concerns" dawn had. Including my son's father. I told him everything and he hates dawn as much as I do and we're not even together.

How is it with all the tests, my life before the charges, my life now...how is it none of that matters? Why is it cps or the courts never looked at the obvious?

After the house inspections, I was gonna get my second born and dawn knew that, so she have my daughter to her father before the judge could make a ruling. They tricked me into coming to Washington to get my other kid since they couldn't keep my first one. The cps investigation was already in place, going great, and all of a sudden when things might work out for me, oh I raped her son. And now, I'm starting visitation with my first born and now it's I let men molest my son.

Why can't cps or the courts see? I'm writing this hoping I'll stop second guessing myself. Hoping maybe someone will cone across this and be able to help. Maybe someone will learn. Or just, someone believes me.

Being called a pedophile has changed me, my life, my views on the world, on people. I'm not the same person. I'm not a pedophile or a rapist, this I know as a 100% fact. So why can't I get rid of the tiny voice inside my had that makes me want to second guess myself?
playd92
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2015 1:12 am
Local time: Thu Aug 05, 2021 10:18 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: For Those Falsely Accused Of Abusing **Trigger**

Postby Ben1220 » Wed Sep 30, 2015 5:18 am

playd92 wrote:It does something to people when they're repeatedly called a pedophile. At first, I was angry. I was so unbelievably angry. I would've done anything to watch her suffer in the most horrible ways. Then, I tried taking the high road. I know I'm not a pedophile, why am I letting her get to me? Now, I ask myself everyday, am I a pedophile? Deep down, in my heart, in my mind, every fiber of my being KNOWS I'm not a pedophile or a rapist. But there's always a tiny voice inside my head making me question myself.

Being called a pedophile has changed me, my life, my views on the world, on people. I'm not the same person. I'm not a pedophile or a rapist, this I know as a 100% fact. So why can't I get rid of the tiny voice inside my had that makes me want to second guess myself?


I really get this. I too have been falsley accused of sexual abuse and I have gone through these stages as well.

I'm not naturally an angry person but I've become more and more so at the thought of the individuals who did this to me (not just the girl in question but the manipulative people around her who pushed her into doing what she did)

As for the second guessing, I experienced that for a while as well. It's called gaslighting and it's a totally natural thing to feel in the situation. No matter how strong your sense of reality is if 40 people in the room all told you with conviction that what you thought was red was actually yellow you would start to question your own senses.

What you need to realise though is 39 of those 40 people can't even see the object in question, they're just beliving the 40th person when they say it is yellow. And that 40th person is colour blind.
That's the analogy that I use to help ground myself to reality when I feel myself being affected by the overwhelming pressure to believe the lies that have been told about me.
Ben1220
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2015 5:10 am
Local time: Fri Aug 06, 2021 4:18 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: For Those Falsely Accused Of Abusing **Trigger**

Postby Brian_230947 » Tue Jun 21, 2016 6:25 am

This amazes me .. This large Forum has a very small secluded area for the falsely accused. The falsely accused are also victims and we should be recognized.

The first impressions of this site tell's me that it doesn't understand the implications of being falsely accused and how it destroys lives families and the future of our children. In a hypothetical situation saying that only 5% or so of the accused are falsely accused then translates to thousands even into the tens of thousands per year and the impact it has on the families goes unrecognized.

I came here to tell my story as well and to share my experience and hopes that I may gain some insight and others in the same situation. But I look like the victims of falsely accusing are not really supported by this site.
Brian_230947
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2016 6:08 am
Local time: Thu Aug 05, 2021 1:18 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: For Those Falsely Accused Of Abusing **Trigger**

Postby Shadowhorse » Mon Oct 10, 2016 4:33 pm

I was abused by my brother when I was 6. Horribly...he trapped me and forced me and hurt me and violated me. I told my sister who is 15 years older than me what had happened, what he did to me, when I was around 8. She ignored me.

She accused me of molesting her daughter to our mother when I was 16 because she used to have me baby sit my niece, and she came home one time and I was giving my niece a bath when she was 2...that was it. Just giving her a bath. She was sticky from juice and I was getting her ready for bed. Only she didn't accuse me then...she accused me when my niece was 8 or 9 and got caught fooling around with a boy down the street and my mother asked my sister where she learned that type of behavior. So my sister decided that I must have taught her when I was babysitting her and that's what I was doing when she came home and saw me giving her a bath.

I feel about my niece like she was my own daughter, and my niece adores me. There's no way I would ever even think along those lines...I was totally shocked when I was accused. My mother got angry and hung up on my sister, then she called back and screamed at me she never wanted anything to do with any of us again.

So needless to say, after being abused myself, and sharing that with my sister...wanting her help, wanting her to believe me, she turned around and ignored it, treated my brother who did it like he was a prince, and accused me of doing it many years later.

So that's my story.
Shadowhorse
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2016 3:46 pm
Local time: Thu Aug 05, 2021 1:18 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

My ex-GF accused me of rape, what should I do, or how should

Postby harmonica » Tue Dec 27, 2016 11:28 am

Basically I broke up with my gf a couple of months ago, and severed all ties so far. Basically the break up had to with these reasons, which I talked about in other threads on here before:

relationship/topic184886.html
relationship/topic168890.html
relationship/topic181385.html

So now two months later she sends me an email accusing me of raping her. She refers to a specific incident, which I can describe...

A couple of years ago in the relationship, here is what happened one night. Mainly I surprised with sex and we got all passionate, but I took her by surprise and here is what happened...

Mainly I sort of bolted into the room by surprise as a rough fantasy and just took her by complete surprise. She struggled and said no, but while it happened, I thought her 'no' to be because of the surprise, not because of rape!.... does that make sense?

She only said no at first though. After I got inside her by surprise, a few seconds later, after I started going back and forth, so to speak, she stopped struggling told me to go harder and reciprocated. So I thought she said no out of being surprised, and she really wanted it, cause she reciprocated and said a few seconds later. She kept on dating me and having sex with me after for two more years, so I thought all was good, and it was fine and that is what she wanted, especially since she said yes a few seconds later, and made love to me back.

And afterwards she said she wanted to have sex again, so I thought she was reciprocal. I did not intend a rape at all, if that's what it was. I am so confused now, and don't know what to think.

Did I rape her, or did I not, or what? I just feel terrible.
harmonica
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 188
Joined: Fri May 15, 2009 7:55 am
Local time: Thu Aug 05, 2021 6:18 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: My ex-GF accused me of rape, what should I do, or how should

Postby Purple 8 » Tue Dec 27, 2016 5:59 pm

Since you took her by surprise, there was no consent and because there was no consent, it was rape.
Purple 8
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1151
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2016 8:50 pm
Local time: Thu Aug 05, 2021 1:18 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Next

Return to Sexual Abuse and Incest Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 212 guests