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The Little Girl...

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The Little Girl...

Postby AShatteredSoul » Fri Jul 26, 2013 12:07 am

She's my other half.

She needs help. I don't know how to help her. I know what she wants. I can't give it to her. Nothing I can do helps. Well nothing that is healthy, nothing that is good.
She needs what she needs, but what she needs she can't get. She can't get it the way it's supposed to be. Right is all wrong to her.

I don't know what to do. She needs help. I don't know how to give it to her.
My Scars, They are like stripes on a Tiger.
What makes Him unique. Makes Him Beautiful.
No, I won't be ashamed. Won't hide them.
They Are My Stripes.
To show, I do have Willpower, Strength & Courage. That I Am Beautiful. No matter what anyone says. (Even Myself)
I'll embrace the Tiger. Listen to His Soul.
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Re: The Little Girl...

Postby smurf » Fri Jul 26, 2013 1:10 am

How about showing her the love and compassion she deserves? Give her a hug. Tell her she is safe now. You will protect her and that you're listening now. Let her know you're there for her right now. Give her the teddy bear or doll she always liked/loved/needed. Let her hold it. Let her have comfort from it. Allow her to grieve. Give her a colouring book and let her express herself through colours.

I hope you're.

Safe gentle hugs
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Re: The Little Girl...

Postby AShatteredSoul » Fri Jul 26, 2013 9:58 am

smurf wrote:How about showing her the love and compassion she deserves?


That's what I can't do. I can show her what it is, I've even tried giving it to her because that's what she needs. But she can't have it the right way. It doesn't feel right to her. She wants the wrong way. The way she knows, the way that she can actually feel something.
Nothing I can give her will help the feelings go away. I can't show her the right way because she already knows what it is. She just can't feel anything to it. She hates it and wants nothing to do with it. Unless it's the way that's right for her.
My Scars, They are like stripes on a Tiger.
What makes Him unique. Makes Him Beautiful.
No, I won't be ashamed. Won't hide them.
They Are My Stripes.
To show, I do have Willpower, Strength & Courage. That I Am Beautiful. No matter what anyone says. (Even Myself)
I'll embrace the Tiger. Listen to His Soul.
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AShatteredSoul
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Re: The Little Girl...

Postby sleeper^ » Fri Jul 26, 2013 12:00 pm

That's what I can't do. I can show her what it is, I've even tried giving it to her because that's what she needs. But she can't have it the right way. It doesn't feel right to her. She wants the wrong way. The way she knows, the way that she can actually feel something.


And here is the key to your own salvation ...
Take a 'real' look at the 'child ' who owned you at one point in time
You have separated some what from her ( & have grown up abit )
But yes she is STILL there & YOU listen to her
Unfortunately its abit of a waiting game right now - when you learn to put her to 'rest' then she & you will eventually heal abit of that tear that is in your soul

As mentioned ( yep the damage done to your own inner self ) is well ingrained in you ( hense why you still listen ) & haven't put her to rest ( quite yet ) & back in her place where she belongs

Why give her what she needs ( it is NOT what you want as well ) so why listen
Stop being weak with her & tell her that you NO longer wish to live that way anymore
Make yourself stronger than her & start standing up to her & tell her off !

She has remained in a child like state ( of NO change for reason )
But you have finally seen the 'light' & know yourself ( that you NO longer wish to keep feeling like crap bc of her
Every time you allow her to hurt you ( it keeps shattering another small section of you ) ..
JUST stop that & TELL HER NO !
You now want & deserve more in life ( than a life of misery ) you want the proper
choice in deciding what you want & don't want

No a 'child' who only wishes to keep tearing u up into little pieces ( is NOT someone to keep listening to !!
( why keep giving into her impulses)!! Stand up for yourself for once & say NO !
Tell her you want to heal & move forward ( not stay in a pattern of self destructive ways )
You deserve better & so does she !

Teach her now that YOU will be in charge ( YOU will now make adult decision NOT a child who now doesn't understand right for wrong ( YOU DO though )
Talk her down & be brave & say you deserve to better now & want to stop hurting yourself !

Tell her the truth ! ( that her way sucks totally ) ! its cruel & nasty to you & disrespects you totally as a person !
Tell her that YOU ( the older one now ) no longer wishes to listen to her !

You gave her what she wanted ( & how did that make YOU feel ) -- > worse !
If it had of made you feel better you wouldn't be here talking about her!!
Obviously - you no longer want to live the way you do ( so do something finally about it !) stand up to the part of you that likes to hurt you ,for once!
Stop letting the 'hurt' child in you rule ( instead ) say ....
This is how its going to be !
This is how I NOW wish to live my OWN life ( one without such pain !)
one with respect for myself & my body , one where I can be sort of happy maybe even at times now even !
Time to let go of the little girl who once ruled you
( time to see that the place of her now needs to change in your life )
she needs to be put to sleep & for YOU to now finally wake up

Now be the productive caring individual not only for yourself but also for others
( the potential is there for you to change you ) & find a new & better pathway
NOw you only have to teach YOUrself to 'let go ' of the part of you that is HOLDING you back,
locked in your OWN made hell!
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Re: The Little Girl...

Postby AShatteredSoul » Fri Jul 26, 2013 7:36 pm

Sleeper,
You don't seem to understand.
I can't just tell her off. Can't just put her in her place. It's not that simple. Because she's already in her place.
Yes, I've grown up and know what's right from wrong, but I've known this my entire life! The little girl has known this. We know what's the right way and what's the wrong way. But for us Wrong is Right. That's how we learned it. That's how we've known it. We've both tried so hard to have the right way work, but it doesn't. The little girl, watched people to see how the right way went, she already knew that what she learned was wrong. But she tried to do it the right way, but it just didn't feel right.(still doesn't feel right).
We really can't feel anything towards the right way.
She and I want the same thing. Need the same thing.
She doesn't "rule" me. We are One. (though two at times)
This is NOT something we can "let go" of. This is NOT something we can relearn.
It's not that simple.
My Scars, They are like stripes on a Tiger.
What makes Him unique. Makes Him Beautiful.
No, I won't be ashamed. Won't hide them.
They Are My Stripes.
To show, I do have Willpower, Strength & Courage. That I Am Beautiful. No matter what anyone says. (Even Myself)
I'll embrace the Tiger. Listen to His Soul.
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Re: The Little Girl...

Postby katana » Fri Jul 26, 2013 7:42 pm

have you thought of asking her why, trying to explore those feelings? I don't know what it is that you want to change, but if you want to change something you need to except existing feelings around it first and explore them, you're right when you say you can't "just change" what is.
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Re: The Little Girl...

Postby smurf » Fri Jul 26, 2013 10:32 pm

+1 to Katana. Finding out what she needs to feel safe sounds like a plan.

I sincerely hope you're ok.

Keep safe.
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Re: The Little Girl...

Postby AShatteredSoul » Fri Jul 26, 2013 11:15 pm

smurf wrote: Finding out what she needs to feel safe sounds like a plan.


It's not that she doesn't feel safe. She's fine in that part. (for the most part, but if she doesn't I know what to do)

She's needs love and to feel connected to someone. Comfort from someone, in a way. She feels lonely all the time and wants to feel connected to someone. But the only way she knows how to do that is the wrong way and if it's the right way it doesn't give her anything. It doesn't give her what she needs. She doesn't feel it.

katana wrote:have you thought of asking her why, trying to explore those feelings?


I don't need to ask, I already know why.
My Scars, They are like stripes on a Tiger.
What makes Him unique. Makes Him Beautiful.
No, I won't be ashamed. Won't hide them.
They Are My Stripes.
To show, I do have Willpower, Strength & Courage. That I Am Beautiful. No matter what anyone says. (Even Myself)
I'll embrace the Tiger. Listen to His Soul.
User avatar
AShatteredSoul
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Re: The Little Girl...

Postby katana » Fri Jul 26, 2013 11:18 pm

AShatteredSoul wrote:I don't need to ask, I already know why.


I guess I meant explore the feelings, without going looking for it in whatever way you're not ok with.
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Re: The Little Girl...

Postby jaus tail » Sat Jul 27, 2013 4:35 pm

i have a boy within me and yes at times it wants things that i know are wrong for him

the boy is a child, he needs to be given things other than what he wants

he's a child. a child needs protection. whenever the child cries, i hug him, i assume the role of a father and look after him. like virtually hug him and say, 'that it's ok...that the past can be forgiven. yes it was wrong on the boy's part and the boy needs to let it go'

we cannot let go of our kids, but we cannot let them take over us. they're our responsibility, but we cannot let them hurt us

take care of the girl..but take care of yourself as well
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