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What is this idea called?

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What is this idea called?

Postby cloudyday » Fri Apr 26, 2013 7:33 pm

I don't know where to post this question. Ultimately I want to find reading material to help me, but I don't know what keywords to use in my search.

I've had trouble for several years with irrational feeling of disgust and anger whenever I see my brother. (I see him every day because we are business partners.)

I realized that I must be dreaming about him doing all sorts of aggravating things to me and this is subconsciously affecting my behaviour. So if I can stop the dreams then I might relate to my brother based on his real behaviour instead of his dream behaviour.

Does anybody understand this idea and know what keywords would help me find more information?
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Re: What is this idea called?

Postby fiftysix » Sat Apr 27, 2013 11:23 am

I have had irrational feelings of anger towards people. First i would say if you can't remember any dreams, then its highly unlikely that your feelings are coming from dreams.

The first place to look is to see if there is any unacknowledged dislike of your brother or any other feelings that have something of a conflicting nature. I have problems with my sister and i hate admitting it but i think its because i feel she is somewhat dumb and embarassing at times. She's a teacher by the way. Its possible that i am in fact dumber than her. And i'm a not a teacher. I don't even have a job and never had much of a career.

And i do have some envy towards my sister but its about her appearance not her intelligence or other characteristics. I am not even envious of her life which is pretty good.

I have noticed these feelings towards other people in the past at times. The feelings are very uncomfortable and i wish i didn't have them. I tend to be irritable and unpleasant to the person when i have those feelings and i've lost friendships over them. I find it almost impossible to suppress the feelings and not act on them.

So i don't know what causes them. It might just be something too deep to be able to figure out. I don't get that irrational feeling towards anyone else but my sister these days and i haven't had it with anyone else for a very long time.

I think you won't find the answer in a self-help book. I think you should go and see a psychologist or psychotherapist about it if you want to try to resolve it. Its probably about some internal psychological conflict.
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Re: What is this idea called?

Postby cloudyday » Sun Apr 28, 2013 10:02 pm

Thanks for the response, fiftysix. :)

Sometimes I remember my dreams and in several cases they seem to be "designed" to condition me to feel the irrational disgust and frustration towards my brother. I tried therapy a year ago, but it didn't seem to help. I'm sure there were real causes for my problem, but it has grown bigger than reality due to these dreams. I don't know how to change my dreams, but I think that would solve the problem. Maybe lucid dreaming or hypnosis would help?

BTW Sorry you have problems with your sister. Hopefully they diminish with time. It sounds very similar.
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Re: What is this idea called?

Postby fiftysix » Mon Apr 29, 2013 12:38 am

What do you mean you tried therapy? and it didn't help?

How long did you stay there? Therapy is a slow "cure" you know. (I Mean its not really a cure but it does help you change in a very deep way - the psychotherapy models do anyway). You have to stick with it.

I don't believe the dreams are that important. The content of dreams are generally not important but the feelings in them can be a reflection of your current emotional state. So i am not inclined to think that hypnosis etc will help but if you don't mind taking the chance, give it a shot. I don't know that anyone can teach you how to lucid dream, can they?
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Re: What is this idea called?

Postby cloudyday » Mon Apr 29, 2013 1:47 am

I went to the therapist about once a month for almost a year. The therapist said she felt frustrated too. I ended this last September. A few weeks ago I decided to try a different therapist. The introductory session seemed promising but I started getting an upset stomach afterwards and the next several days I had a lot of stress until I finally called and canceled for now.

It's hard to explain. I think I'm basically o.k. with a few issues like my brother, but the therapists think I have so many problems that it overwhelms me. Also apparently I had some psychosis a few years ago and I like to think I am fully recovered. The therapists seem to overreact to this IMO.
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Re: What is this idea called?

Postby fiftysix » Mon Apr 29, 2013 2:45 am

This is just my response to what yo'uve said but


1. once a month is not enough. YOu need to go once a week. The therapy should shake you up enough. When i was in therapy, i was thinking about it the whole time and i think that's partly why it was able to change me.

2. Feeling knotted in the stomach is because you've got something on your mind that you need to talk about. I think it was a mistake to cancel your appointment on the one hand. On the other maybe a less stressful type of therapy might be better for you. But if i were you, i'd would make another appointment with the same woman and when you are doing it, tell your therapist that you were finding the stress unbearable and that's why you cancelled, so that she might be able to try to get you in to see her sooner. The thing is if you are able to talk about whatever it was you had on your mind all that stress would disappear and you would all of a sudden be a lot stronger in yourself. Of course another issue might come up but the opportunity you've just had and still got is potentially so powerful in healing terms that i think you should reconsider it.

3. I can understand the therapists being concerned about a previous experience with psychosis. Unless it was caused by a drug thing, usually it is brought on by stress, generally prolonged stress i think. So you may be at risk of having it again which is why they need to tread carefully with you. The best way you can alleviate stress in a therapeutic situation is to get off your chest whatever is on your mind. Everything. Anything that is troubling you and you are ruminating about, you need to share. Its best if you can share it with your therapist but you can also share it here or with someone else if you find yourself getting really wound up. Also helplines are a good source of de-stressing, though the effect is probably temporary. Still all those things take the pressure off.
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Re: What is this idea called?

Postby cloudyday » Mon Apr 29, 2013 11:14 am

Thanks, fiftysix.

It makes sense that frequent sessions keep a person thinking about the issues constantly. I never thought about that, but it's very true.

I'm not sure why I felt so much stress after my last therapy, but it is an interesting clue. Maybe I cope with my life today by not thinking about it? Therapists try to remind me of all these issues that seem to have no solution. Also the hallucinations and delusions left me less certain about reality.

I'll probably try therapy again eventually. But I don't have any hope of being a "normal" person by society's standards. All I want to do is make it through my life and be nice to others. That's good enough for me.
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