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Recommend books for someone like me?

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Recommend books for someone like me?

Postby weirdone » Mon Mar 25, 2013 1:53 pm

Is there some book out there that could be useful for someone who is a social outcast, social phobic and well.. 'different'?
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Re: Recommend books for someone like me?

Postby SandyWalkerFC » Mon Apr 01, 2013 10:08 pm

I have found this book helpful in dealing with my fears and phobias.
"Freedom through Forgiveness: The Power of Forgiveness Can Change Your Life". It's on Amazon.
It has step-by-step exercises - one specifically for fear.
I do this step whenever fear is holding me back from something I want to do and it helps.
Hope you find what you're looking for :)
Take care,
Sandy
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Re: Recommend books for someone like me?

Postby weirdone » Mon Apr 22, 2013 1:11 pm

Thank you for the suggestion. Think I've heard of that one. Will check it out.
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Re: Recommend books for someone like me?

Postby fiftysix » Mon Apr 22, 2013 1:28 pm

I loved Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. Especially the first chapter. Its one of my favourite self-help books.

I think its good to keep reading in order to learn new perspectives and for a variety of other reasons. However, i think its quite important to realise that when you read these books, they are often uplifting and motivating whilst you are reading them and you able to sustain some focus on the things they recommend for a while afterwards but eventually you tend to fall back into your old ways and also you tend not to internalise, understand and be able to apply all the good advice and wisdom they are sharing.

So its good to keep on reading and learning and one single book probably won't change yoru life comprehensively though it could have a profound impact on you if you allow it to make a decision that is important or learn a new skill that really resonates with you.

If you've got social phobia/anxiety then you probably should work with a therapist and keep on finding ways to challenge yourself and break down those fears.

In mindfulness they teach you that you can feel something and not let it dictate your behaviour or even control you. Its not easy but i think its a practice worth trying to learn. I've got a book called The midnful way through Depression which i haven't got too far into yet. Its not really gripping me because the beginning is about the cognitive stuff that i already know. I am more interested in the midnfulness part and i guess i will get there eventually. Mainly i learn mindfulness through a buddhist context. You can attend a good online meditation group at the secular buddhist website where they teach it. The guy who runs the group Mark, has had issues with anxiety himself - i don't know how badly or how much it continues to affect him but you could take this knowledge about him and use it reassure yourself in the face of any jitters you may experience in teh group. He told us that it was his own anxiety issues that brought him to mindfulness practice in the first place. He follows the techniques of MBSR or mindfulness based stress reduction which is taught by Jon Kabat Zinn.

Oh there's a beautiful 7 minute meditation video as a TED video on you tube. See if you can find it. I can't remember who the guy was but i loved it. It would be an excellent introduction to meditation. However you can't stop there. you must find teachers and practice regularly.

Mindfulness meditation builds the parts of your brain associated with emotion regulation, attentiveness and learning and the knowledge and practice you get allows you to be more in touch with your mental processes and so perhaps to gain some control over htem or at least acceptance of your experience so that you are less disturbed by it.

To find the secular buddhist web page, look up secular buddhist assocation. Dana Nourie, Ted Meissner, Mark Knicklebine are the names you should look for to know you are on the right site. Doug Smith and others are also there. There is also a secular buddhist facebook page. there are good podcasts, book recommendations, discussion board, articles and so. this approach to buddhism is not traditional or religious, its more critical, skeptical and scientific as well as democratic, modern and so on. I highly recommend it for anyone wanting to learn more about this style of meditation.
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Re: Recommend books for someone like me?

Postby SocialNatural » Wed Sep 11, 2013 12:40 am

"How to Make Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie is a classic and still relied on as recommended self-help book to communicator and CEO.

Also, check out "Social Intelligence" and "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman.

Leil Lowdnes have some really good practical application books as well.
For info on social skills...

Visit http://www.thesocialnatural.com
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Re: Recommend books for someone like me?

Postby michberries » Fri Jan 10, 2014 2:45 am

SocialNatural wrote:"How to Make Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie is a classic and still relied on as recommended self-help book to communicator and CEO.


This is a good one. You might find it helpful.
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Re: Recommend books for someone like me?

Postby Aztec1234 » Fri Dec 16, 2016 12:10 pm

How to Make Friends and Influence People

There is little science behind those books.

Start with something more simple like a book about NLP technique.
If that doesnt work, go for books written by clinical psychologists or psychiatrists on anxiety.
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