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Scared of Romance

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Scared of Romance

Postby Geno177 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 11:17 pm

Hi. I am ready to bare my heart here, after much stewing, fuming, and crying. I am a gay man, in my late 20s, and I haven't had sex in a year and a half. My self-esteem is exceptionally low. Even so, I am considered a leader in my workplace, I own a home, have lots of friends...indicators of a fulfilling life.
While I consider myself fortunate to have what I do, I still don't feel worthy of love or capable of romance. I feel too awkward to be loved. I have had more than one crush in the past 18 months, but nothing has become of them, because I tell myself I'm not worthy.
I want to be comfortable with romance and "making the first move." However, I haven't felt sexually attractive since college. I am ready for this space in my life to be filled. Please let me know if you are in or have been in a similar situation. Even if that's not the case, any advice/wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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Re: Scared of Romance

Postby Snaga » Mon Nov 05, 2018 3:21 am

I had self esteem issues also with feeling unattractive. At some point, I was more tired of being alone, than I was afraid of being rejected. And things got better for me, and I'm in an LTR. I'm Bi but haven't practised that side of my sexuality in a very long time, so I can only speak from heterosexual real-world experience. Still I don't think it'd be so different, would it? I mean, just about everyone's someone's type. I have my 'guy' types and they're not always Adonis.

I finally made myself not care anymore and put myself out there, deciding there were plenty of fish and I wasn't going to let rejection be taken personally. For what it's worth, also, I was a decade older when I finally decided enough was enough with hiding in a cave.
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Re: Scared of Romance

Postby Geno177 » Mon Nov 05, 2018 3:47 pm

Thanks, Snaga, for your thoughtful reply. Can I asked what changed in you or your circumstances that made you realize enough was enough? I am waiting for that moment.
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Re: Scared of Romance

Postby Geno177 » Mon Nov 05, 2018 5:24 pm

Hi, Snaga. How did you manage to reach a new confidence level and break the cycle of feeling inadequate?
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Re: Scared of Romance

Postby Snaga » Thu Nov 08, 2018 3:46 am

I don't know, I just got tired of the way things were. Also I'd begun flirting online and realised I had at least some charm. And that gave me just enough confidence, I suppose.
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Tell someone today that you love them; for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon; for Life is also terrifying and confusing.

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