Effects of Selective Mutism later in life

I never realized until today that my "excessive shyness" when I was very young could actually have been selective mutism. I didn't talk at school or even to my friends. I remember also being deathly afraid of my grandma for whatever reason. At home I was fine. I'm the youngest of 7 and I wasn't that vocal but I did talk until I had to go somewhere else.

One day my mom gave me a "magic mirror" which was a little intricately designed makeup mirror. She told me to take it out when I felt afraid and think of her and I would be able to talk. At school during class I took it out after my teacher asked a question and I answered it to the whole class and one of my friends shouted "she can talk!"

I've gotten over my fear of speaking, but my life has been destroyed by SM. I guess you can say mine was pretty severe - I never spoke from year 4 all the way through to leaving at year 11. Didn't have any friends, not even one. I have asperger's syndrome too and that makes things even worse.

I can have conversations with people now, but I keep most people at a distance. I was bullied pretty severely and it has damaged my capacity to trust others and form any kind of meaningful relationship. I am 30, still living with parents, can't drive, severely depressed.

I never got any kind of help. My parents didn't even know I had SM until year 11 of secondary school, because I hid it for years. So yeah, don't be like me.