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Looking To Improve As A Mute: Starting Here

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Looking To Improve As A Mute: Starting Here

Postby Xclavian » Sat Aug 02, 2014 6:03 am

Greetings everyone,

I'd thought come by today to share my life story. As the title suggests, I am an 18-year-old mute. Well, to be honest, I'm not entirely mute. My only form of communication is a small, faint whisper. It has been that way since I was about 13. Before then, when I was a child, I spoke in a quiet, mono-tone voice. As a result, I immensely feared social gatherings, only speaking the least amount of words possible when spoken to, even to my own family.

As years went by, it got much worse. I adopted a whisper; perhaps subconsciously I never wanted to face the fact my voice would change in puberty. That subconscious notion worked brilliantly, as I have never heard what my voice truly sounds like since age 13.

Social interaction is virtually non-existent since I started whispering. When I was 14, I began to never speak to anyone outside my immediate family. I still clearly remember the stone cold faces people gave me when they attempted to communicate with me, as I return no answer. Even my own grandmother cannot get a word out of me. Obviously, many more of these interactions remain ahead in my life.

I have taken years worth of speech therapy with nothing to show for it.

Friends? None to speak of. Not even I would wish to be friends with a person unable to speak to them or offer any sort of gesture towards them. I would never go up to someone of my age and talk, nor would they in return.

With College on the horizon (with plans of majoring in Computer Science), common sense tells me there is a small chance of making a living for myself unless something in my mind dramatically changes. Amazingly, I am actually holding a paid internship job for the past year working as a programmer. Even though I respect their hospitality, chances like this won't come easily in the professional world. I don't have much time left.

And of course I have the usual symptoms of social anxiety: difficulty at looking people in the eye, no gesturing, awkward movements, loathing to take pictures with me in them, etc. However, unlike most cases of social anxiety, I don't feel anything when put in a social situation. I've come to expect the same responses from everyone I meet.

In the recent weeks, I have been attempting to work on my voice, but it seems quiet and quivering. Perhaps due to my lack of use, I've completely forgotten how to speak properly in any sort of normal dialect and speech pattern. I have even gone to the effort of recording my voice and after many cringes later, I was honestly repulsed with its sound.

Anyways, if you have made it this far, than I must thank you for reading my long, arduous rant. I would appreciate any advice, help, or anything you can offer.

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Re: Looking To Improve As A Mute: Starting Here

Postby ytmm » Tue Nov 25, 2014 2:26 am

maybe you can learn, (american?) sign language, i am currently learning it and it is useful for the times when i cannot speak. I carry a pen and paper on my person so i can communicate easier. I am working on making my handwriting better. is this useful for you?
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