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I feel I may have Schizophrenia

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I feel I may have Schizophrenia

Postby KimaK » Sun May 22, 2022 7:24 am

I really do feel that I am misdiagnosed & no one gave a damn to see about getting me treatment. All throughout my life my Mom sure didn't! She expects too much of me. I don't even like how she relies on me when I am mentally vulnerable myself!
Tonight was pretty bad. I could not stop hitting my head with my hands & I was so mad at myself.
I had to go downstairs of my Mothers home down to the basement to 'let loose' meaning I shoved the liquid detergent & fabric softner onto the ground in a rage. i did yell some & I was a whirlwind of anger. I know that I hate PTSD which is coming to the surface now that the Step father passed away because he was abusive really bad. He was not a nice guy however everyone thinks he was. I threw his photo album that of course had pictures OF HIM in just about every photo. Yes a total narcissist!
It is so not fair the mess he left & just how selfish he was. I think that was what my rage was about only it was an extreme form of my illness mixed in with something else.
I really don't know what to do either. I'm not optimistic. My Mother wants me to be codependant & happy. I can't be that way anymore. I never got what I needed from her or anyone because all I was , was someone to me merely tolerated just so people could be near Mom. I know this already. I'm not stupid.
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Re: I feel I may have Schizophrenia

Postby Snaga » Mon May 23, 2022 2:07 am

Well, no one here is allowed to diagnose, but nothing you've posted seems to be very schizophrenic, on the surface. What all are you diagnosed with?
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Re: I feel I may have Schizophrenia

Postby andrew112 » Tue Jun 28, 2022 5:49 am

KimaK, I am so sorry you had to go through the trauma and challenges you described. As far as feeling like you have Schizophrenia, have you ever seen a psychiatrist or social worker? I know when I first came down with psychosis fifteen years ago, I saw a social worker who referred me to a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with early psychosis. I was prescribed 0.25mg Risperidone but refused to take it because I did not think I was mentally ill, and because I thought the medication was evil. It's a shame I did not realize I was ill because I could have spared myself years of suffering. But after ten years, when I did become medication compliant, I finally began to make progress. I hope you do too.
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