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Seriously... Everyday it gets realer more intense

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Seriously... Everyday it gets realer more intense

Postby Whyaretheysonegitive » Thu Sep 02, 2021 8:06 am

So I've been dealing with paranoid schizophrenia sice I was.13.. voice as.real as.i would.talk to.someone.close to me


But what I wanna know is why and how.. do these demons.. learn to adapt.. say things I would never think of.. been going on for over a year.now.. tryed lots of different meds.. bit I don't like being a zombie... I hate being around people. Every time time I move I think the nebours hate me ... There for talking to the landlord to evict me.. or worse .... I need advice
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Re: Seriously... Everyday it gets realer more intense

Postby Snaga » Thu Sep 02, 2021 5:35 pm

Hello, and welcome to the forums!

That seems to be a common complaint about meds for schizophrenia, and I'm not sure what to tell you, except that if you struggle with excessive paranoia (I'm paranoid myself) and need to take medications to keep delusional thoughts from overtaking you, well, it is what it is. Personally I'd think it'd be more important to be able to function. To people not used to being around schizophrenia (I am) it can be confusing and frightening. Plus, if you're fixated on things that only exist in your mind, that's keeping you from living to your potential. I don't have schizophrenia but with my assortment of mental illnesses I have a hard enough time sometimes, separating reality from what I feel are sometimes mild delusions. It holds me back. We don't want to be held back.
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Re: Seriously... Everyday it gets realer more intense

Postby Whyaretheysonegitive » Fri Sep 03, 2021 3:19 am

Thank you .. I did not think I would get a reply.... So most of the time.. I hear people talking about how to set me up.. To go to prison... Because they think I'm a peace of $#%^.. and I treat my wife bad... And ya .. I really don't tho.. I'm mainly worried because what if the voices are real... Not voices... But I guess that's how paranoid schizophrenia works... Well thats what I keep telling myself... I have found something that helps with the voices tho... The only thing ... Alcohol... Honestly.. it calms me down.. and helps me think... Or just not care ... But...I have another question pleaseeeee.... How does my brain make up these voices... Like I hear stuff that I would never say... Or stuff I wouldn't think about... And it's mostly .. like the humming of a fan.. or bass.... Because it quites down when I turn the object off... SOMETIMES.... But I'd that normal... To hear words in sentence s never I've never heard before ?
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Re: Seriously... Everyday it gets realer more intense

Postby Snaga » Fri Sep 03, 2021 2:14 pm

Whyaretheysonegitive wrote: How does my brain make up these voices... Like I hear stuff that I would never say... Or stuff I wouldn't think about... And it's mostly .. like the humming of a fan.. or bass.... Because it quites down when I turn the object off... SOMETIMES.... But I'd that normal... To hear words in sentence s never I've never heard before ?


Well I'm hardly an expert, just someone who has a family history of the disorder, but I think I've read that in schizophrenia, one of the things that happens is the brain can't recognise its own thoughts or something, and they get interpreted as if they were coming from outside sources.

Everyone gets the occasional paranoid thought, everyone gets ego-dystonic thoughts: thoughts that aren't actually a part of someone's Id, their core being. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which can sometimes cross over to mildly delusional beliefs, and OCD is also marked by having intrusive, ego-dystonic thoughts. For me, a big chunk of intrusive thoughts involves thoughts of harming or killing others- a very common OCD theme, by the way. Now I have OCD, not Schizophrenia: I recognise the thoughts as not being outside audible voices- as a child I thought it was demons putting thoughts in my head; but as an adult, I understand what an ego-dystonic thought is- a thought that I don't really have any desire or interest in carrying out. Normal people get harm thoughts also, but they just don't think about them, whereas someone like me obsesses over them and will think them over and over, letting them disturb me. The more a person with OCD gets disturbed by an intrusive thought, the more that thought will pop up- because you know, 'Obsessive'.

There's sometimes a fine line between OCD and Schizophrenia.

From what little I recall reading, it's thought that in Schizophrenia there's a breakdown in distinguishing intrusive thoughts from outside stimuli. You have a thought: "They're talking about me" I'm paranoid as hell too and there's been plenty of times I have thought someone had it in for me, or some people were talking about me. But for me, it remains a thought that I know is a thought. If I had Schizophrenia, my brain, as i understand it, would hear that thought as an outside voice. It's not an outside voice, but my brain would hear it. Heck, every now and then I swear I hear my own name and it's real as real, even though I'm by myself and it can't possibly be real. In Schizophrenia, it is very difficult to separate the internal from the external.

For both of us, the stuff is coming from inside our brain. Just that with one disorder people still mostly understand that it's the brain, and with the other disorder... not so much.

And that's why your brain can make up these voices- it's interpreting thoughts as outside voices. If my intrusive OCD thoughts were voices I'd be where you are. Because I don't know about you, but my brain can make up some real whoppers, telling me I'm going to do this frightening thing, or I'm going to do that frightening thing, or this person's come to get me or that person's going to get me. Honestly, I don't know why I'm not myself schizophrenic. I guess I just got lucky, but even for me sometimes I have to step back and think about a belief I think is fact and ask myself is this real, or is my mind running away with itself?

If you're on meds, but you're still self-medicating with alcohol, please be careful with that! Alcohol does not play well with some psych meds- I'm on a mild SSRI and I have to be careful with alcohol. If the meds aren't working, instead of alcohol, talk to your doctor about trying to adjust them. I know the person in my family that was schizophrenic, it was a very careful balance of meds that he had to be on, and if they were messed with, he'd wind up having to be in hospital a while to get things straightened back out. So it may take a lot of tweaking until you find something that works for you. It's worth trying; you shouldn't have to sideline your life completely because of this and you deserve a better life.
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Tell someone today you love them, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also confusing and terrifying.

We do not delete posts.
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