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Are these Early Psychosis signs? I don't know what to think.

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Are these Early Psychosis signs? I don't know what to think.

Postby ARflowerstar » Thu May 30, 2019 8:38 pm

First off, I am not diagnosed with schizophrenia or any other psychotic disorder.

This is some back story, you don't have to read it, just skip forward to the ******

I am now 18, have had severe mental health issues in the past with depression and anxiety since I was 14. Have been in and out of the hospital(psych wards) for the past 4 years. Last year, in 2018, during a 4 month involuntary admission (I was 17), as a last resort they decided ECT may benefit me. It ended up saving my life and had a significant effect on me. However my period of remission lasted only a month and a half before i fell into a crippling major depression episode. They then decided that I would need maintenance ECT, as in after a course of ECT, i would continue having ECT every 2 weeks. And then have ECT monthly after 4 months. (I now have ECT monthly) And i still feel much better.


Here is the problem now. Lately i've been feeling "off". It started off not too bad, just feeling like I don't understand things as well and just my normal daily day to day mental functioning seemed odd. Now I have "deja vu" every single day, multiple times a day. But I KNOW its not deja vu. I KNOW it has happened before.

However, if it's not one of those times where I know for sure it's happened before, I have to seriously think about whether it actually happened or if it was just my imagination. Sometimes it feels like "visions" like I get the "deja vu" feeling but because I just know it happened before but things still feel weird so I literally keep telling myself "excuses" or I try to rationalize it the best I can like "oh I probably just forgot" or when i have "deja vu" episodes like when I watch tv and i know it happened before i tell myself that "maybe i watched it before and just forgot i did".

Or if I know that I hung out with my friend and went to the same place, did the same things, talked about the same stuff. And i kept telling my friend "we've been here before, I remember we did this last time" (Like i know 10000000% we have been there before) and my friend kept saying "we have never been here before what are you talking about" And I kept telling myself that SHE'S the one who forgot.

But when these vision/deja vu things started happening, I at first thought I had some psychic ability to predict the future. Because sometimes I SWEAR to god i remember a memory of something happening in the past, but then like next week it happens! The exact memory I had from a week before.

Now I don't think i have special powers or anything, like i'm not thinking psychic in some delusional way, I just have a very open mind and I like to think of every possibility.

But the amount of times i have to keep asking myself if "did this really happen, or did i just imagine it? God i'm so stupid" etc, etc. It's not even a "feeling" that "oh this feels similar". Like I honestly cannot differentiate between the two.

So at this point, I have the following theories about this:

- I really do have some psychic power (like for real)
- I have a brain tumour because I don't know what else it could be
- I am losing my sanity

Please let me know which one of the 3 theories is more likely! Because I've got no clue
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Re: Are these Early Psychosis signs? I don't know what to think.

Postby Tyler » Sat Jun 01, 2019 10:19 am

I'm not an expert, but I don't think it's any of those theories. ECT treatment can lead to memory loss, short and long term, and one of the reasons Deja Vu is caused is from short term memory loss. If you're getting treatment for it still, it could be causing the Deja vu.

Other reasons you could have it is because you travel a lot of have been in similar situations. Like, If you went to an Italian restaurant with your friend, and then you go to another one a couple weeks later, you may experience deja vu because of that.

EDIT TO ADD: You don't have psychic powers. No one does. This isn't Schizophrenia, I've been diagnosed with it for years. There's no way for anyone to know you have a brain tumor unless you get scanned for it. If you think it may be that, ask. Go to a doctor ans request a brain scan.
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Re: Are these Early Psychosis signs? I don't know what to think.

Postby 123paulius » Tue Jun 18, 2019 8:48 am

hi, you described a very common problem which I have. For me it is like this. I think of a some word and another person tells it afterwords (sometimes this word is quite rare). Or I think of a car's colour and car of that colour passes me by. Of course these two things not always happen. So I am not bothering.
However if was you I would'n be so calm. Because I had these how to call telepathy visions last authum. And afterwards I had a deep maniac priod. I was taken into hospital. There I got medicine, including the ones for schizophrenia. My diagnosis was schizoid effect.
On the other, you shouldn't be so worried because my psychologist told me that latest maniac period could be the result of hidden emotions from even school time.
Anyway, if you feel bad or you are worried, you should visit psychiatrist and/ or psychologist. That's my suggestion.
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Re: Are these Early Psychosis signs? I don't know what to think.

Postby Una+ » Wed Aug 14, 2019 11:00 pm

It isn't psychosis. It may be dissociation and it may be pharmacology. Are you on any prescribed medications? Are you self-medicating with any substances?

Although you may be having extrasensory experiences, having such experiences does not mean you have special powers.

Definitely report the experiences to your health care team. Keep a written log: date, time, where you are, and a few words about your experience. Stay calm, observe, and for now try not to explain what you observe.
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