Our partner

What's In Your Castle?

Schizoid Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: Tyler

Re: What's In Your Castle?

Postby CityMouse » Fri Jul 31, 2020 4:40 pm

Really neat posts here, but I'm afraid I didn't explain it well. I just meant, to put it in simpler terms, what goes on in your head lol? The castle is the inner world or inner mind.

So like if you were Buddhist, you inner world would be a mantras i.e. om mani padme hum recited over and over.

If you're a maladaptive daydreamer, maybe your inner world is a recurring fantasy of being Zelda or Superman or something.

Sorry about that. Good thread anyway.
CityMouse
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 404
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2012 4:23 pm
Local time: Tue Nov 24, 2020 1:06 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: What's In Your Castle?

Postby Lucid » Fri Sep 11, 2020 10:40 pm

Ashlar wrote:When I was five or six it started off as a gilded bird cage with a lot of pillows. I was trapped in the cage with someone else and I rejected them.


I was wondering if you could expand a little more on this (or anyone here). I had a similar thought as a kid, I was extremely uncomfortable over the concept of living with another person when I thought about it. To this day it still makes me uncomfortable.

As for the OP..

I have dreamed about some of these things below and I really think that these are the visions I think of the most. I am interested in world building a lot and i like creating a lot of environments, i apologize if some of these are a little over the top.

A crystallized blue castle sits alone in an endless black void. There are trees that glow but they are made of spheres and not leaves. I wouldn't know what was in it, I don't want to go inside because I dislike big spaces. i would hope if anything there were many small rooms in the large castle.

There is a forest covered in Sepia and people are tied to the trees or hanging from them. I recently found out my name meant "Tree Dweller" in a certain mythology so now i just want to imagine the trees. Sometimes people and their limb like arms/fingers/legs morph into the tree like structure. I just want to incorporate as many trees as i can in my thoughts now these days.

I also imagine angels staring at me as i walk through forests. Though i see them more like lively decoration. I never really think about what they are like as beings.

On the other hand, i draw a lot of patterns in my art. I imagine the way they look in my head a lot and i see them twisting and turning, i see them more as alive for some reason.

I have some rooms from my personal life I think a lot about. I remember the dark green carpet and white walls of my grandmother's house as a kid. I really like incorporating that dark green carpet wherever I can. It brings back a lot of nostalgia for some reason.

The broken down theater i used to frequent in, in college. I still think about it to this day because it would always be unlocked and i would always sit on the dark staircase between classes.
Diagnosed: Aspergers
User avatar
Lucid
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 1:13 am
Local time: Tue Nov 24, 2020 8:06 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: What's In Your Castle?

Postby Ashlar » Thu Oct 22, 2020 4:18 pm

Lucid wrote:
Ashlar wrote:When I was five or six it started off as a gilded bird cage with a lot of pillows. I was trapped in the cage with someone else and I rejected them.


I was wondering if you could expand a little more on this (or anyone here). I had a similar thought as a kid, I was extremely uncomfortable over the concept of living with another person when I thought about it. To this day it still makes me uncomfortable.


Something like this https://www.orientaltrading.com/gold-bi ... 65522.fltr but blown up to be the size of a living room. I would describe the interior as being set up like a honeymoon suite (3rd image here https://www.theknot.com/content/outrage ... oon-suites). The person I was put into the cage with was a typical Marilyn Monroe type, blonde hair, white dress. It occurs to me now that it was a whole lot like the zoo exhibit the lead character is put in by aliens in Slaughterhouse Five. Like I was supposed to be forced to breed with this person, but I rejected that and refused to take part in such things. Kinda weird that this was how I was thinking at such a young age before hormones kicked in. Similarly at that age I had a dream at one point that there were like six women and I was supposed to pick one for an arranged marriage, and they each thought they would win me over with different traits, but I just wanted to reject it all. There was some sort of episode of Maya the Honey Bee that I watched as well at that age that had some sort similar feeling for me, but I don't know the specifics. Basically, I was already wired to reject any sort of affection.
Ashlar
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1759
Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2012 12:20 am
Local time: Tue Nov 24, 2020 7:06 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: What's In Your Castle?

Postby KitMcDaydream » Mon Nov 02, 2020 11:07 am

Hi Everyone

I wonder if its ok for me join in here? I have MD intensely and love video games (seen Zelda and Secrets of Mana mentioned)

If anyone has seen Breath of the Wild on Switch my inner world is similar to that (with regard to the layout not the monsters) with areas of woods, lakes, snowy mountains etc. No desert though I'm not a fan of the desert and the creatures in my world are natural.

Some cutesy, like little bunnies and fawns in the woods and some powerful predators in the mountains (snow leopards, eagles etc)

Like BOTW there's a raised 'nursery/beginners area' where the cutesy animals live safely and the 'littles'
I'm part of a DID system - one alter my name is Kit. I think I may have more schizoid tendencies than the others I thrive on isolation so loving lockdown at the minute.

No other alters having to take over to deal with things 'in the real world' such as appointments etc. Have been in Isolation since March other than a few short visits from support bubble family member and deliveries of stuff.

The Inner world is definitely more attractive than the outside world!

I think those of us with strong inner worlds who enjoy getting lost in them (or video games) will survive better mentally through this winter pandemic than people dependant on others to make them feel happy or contentment.

Sadly I see a lot of death coming in the real world, of people who can't survive without others. I think dementia cases will rise too from people not knowing what to do with themselves when isolated for so long. (I'm thinking of elderly and disabled who already live alone and feel they have to shield all winter to stand a chance of making it to next summer).

Kit
User avatar
KitMcDaydream
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 534
Joined: Mon Jun 25, 2018 1:24 pm
Local time: Tue Nov 24, 2020 1:06 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: What's In Your Castle?

Postby Lucid » Tue Nov 17, 2020 12:25 am

Ashlar wrote:The person I was put into the cage with was a typical Marilyn Monroe type, blonde hair, white dress. It occurs to me now that it was a whole lot like the zoo exhibit the lead character is put in by aliens in Slaughterhouse Five. Like I was supposed to be forced to breed with this person, but I rejected that and refused to take part in such things. Kinda weird that this was how I was thinking at such a young age before hormones kicked in. Similarly at that age I had a dream at one point that there were like six women and I was supposed to pick one for an arranged marriage, and they each thought they would win me over with different traits, but I just wanted to reject it all. There was some sort of episode of Maya the Honey Bee that I watched as well at that age that had some sort similar feeling for me, but I don't know the specifics. Basically, I was already wired to reject any sort of affection.


For myself, i imagined the person more as a shadow figure. I read on another thread on the Schizotypal board that someone like us could have a more ingrained fear for our own parents (good or bad parents). So when i think of this situation of living with anyone, I think its very naturally ingraned in a case like this. For the arranged marriage being so forceful in nature and even your perception of a women (symbolized by Marilyn) I think the idea of being made to marry someone like that is what was causing this comfortableness in your youth.

For myself, as a child, i imagined that shadow figure could represent someone maybe i am afraid of not knowing well or them becoming a threat to me somehow. I always had a weird fear of someone i had to live with becoming a threat to me in some way. I would imagine myself stuck inside a wall too and something evil keeping me confined there and i would be forced to listen to their words.

Presently i am more afraid of having to live with someone and then unfortunately having to see them in the afterlife too once i am done with seeing them. I don't know why i think this way because it is probably wrong but there is something really bothering me about seeing that person in the afterlife because i knew them well in this life somehow.
Diagnosed: Aspergers
User avatar
Lucid
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 1:13 am
Local time: Tue Nov 24, 2020 8:06 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: What's In Your Castle?

Postby Ashlar » Wed Nov 18, 2020 8:40 pm

I really started to do better in life when I started living alone. I then later foolishly decided to move in with someone else to save money. It only took a couple months for that to backfire on me.
Ashlar
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1759
Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2012 12:20 am
Local time: Tue Nov 24, 2020 7:06 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Previous

Return to Schizoid Personality Disorder Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google Adsense [Bot] and 54 guests