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Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

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Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby wheeldawg » Fri Jun 12, 2020 4:50 pm

My therapist recently diagnosed me as SPD, but I am unsure of the diagnosis.

I do seem to fit most of the diagnosis descriptions. I like to be by myself, do things by myself, do not enjoy the company of others most of the time, work by myself, and do not express much emotionally when it comes to sorrow or loss, however, I do express anger easy enough. I don’t have and don’t want many friends.

The main thing that gives me pause about the diagnosis is that I have had, and currently have, some very strong emotions of affection for a young lady (I am male).

So, I was curious if any of you who are diagnosed SPD ever experience bouts of strong emotions or is it always emotionless?

Thanks in advance for the help.
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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby Esmoke » Sat Jun 13, 2020 10:42 am

I’m not diagnosed but the way I understand it is, it’s more of a lack of affect appearing indifferent, not about actually being emotionless.
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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby HSS » Sun Jun 14, 2020 6:19 pm

I thought that SPD struggled to express anger...
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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby salles » Sun Jun 14, 2020 9:34 pm

HSS wrote:I thought that SPD struggled to express anger...

Depends on the situation and level of apathy on a given day.
I think I have a high tolerance to situations that may provoke others. But if I am triggered by something or other, it can be explosive. I think I have different triggers to others. It is difficult to assess. Perhaps being explosive = problem with expression.
I am not sure what psych literature means when it says
''people with schizoid personality disorder may have an especially hard time expressing anger. Even when directly provoked, someone with schizoid personality disorder might react very coolly, belying what they may be feeling underneath'.
Considering the expression of anger is frowned upon in society, I feel sure many people fail to express it in the way they would like to.
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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby HSS » Mon Jun 15, 2020 8:26 am

salles wrote:Depends on the situation and level of apathy on a given day.
I think I have a high tolerance to situations that may provoke others. But if I am triggered by something or other, it can be explosive. I think I have different triggers to others. It is difficult to assess. Perhaps being explosive = problem with expression.
I am not sure what psych literature means when it says
''people with schizoid personality disorder may have an especially hard time expressing anger. Even when directly provoked, someone with schizoid personality disorder might react very coolly, belying what they may be feeling underneath'.
Considering the expression of anger is frowned upon in society, I feel sure many people fail to express it in the way they would like to.


Yes, I am not sure, but I assume it happens this way for schizoids: someone holds anger back until he explodes, someone else never expresses it. The more your disorder is severe, the more you hold it back, never expressing (perceiving?) your anger.
Wheeldawg writes that he expresses anger easy enough. It looks like it's something fluent and usual for him, less or more...
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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby wheeldawg » Mon Jun 15, 2020 12:43 pm

Thanks for the response so far.

With regards to the anger part, I don’t do it frequently, at least not anymore, but similar to what was said above, I hold it in for a long time and then something small appears to set me off, when in fact it was just the cumulation of all the previous issues.

The relationship/emotional feelings I have are also infrequent, but when they occur, as they are now, they are pretty intense. I have been in a fairly emotionless marriage for 25 years and am a recovering alcoholic too. Clean and sober now for 3-years. When I was drunk, I expressed emotion, but when sober, I do not. Is that true of SPD diagnosed individuals too? The person I have the strong feelings for is not my wife, but someone I met in recovery 3-years ago, and have stayed in infrequent contact with via social media and texts. I visited her about 9 months ago, and shortly after that, the strong feelings seemed to develop.

Thanks again
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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby wheeldawg » Mon Jun 15, 2020 10:50 pm

wheeldawg wrote:Thanks for the response so far.

With regards to the anger part, I don’t do it frequently, at least not anymore, but similar to what was said above, I hold it in for a long time and then something small appears to set me off, when in fact it was just the cumulation of all the previous issues.

The relationship/emotional feelings I have are also infrequent, but when they occur, as they are now, they are pretty intense. I have been in a fairly emotionless marriage for 25 years and am a recovering alcoholic too. Clean and sober now for 3-years. When I was drunk, I expressed emotion, but when sober, I do not. Is that true of SPD diagnosed individuals too? The person I have the strong feelings for is not my wife, but someone I met in recovery 3-years ago, and have stayed in infrequent contact with via social media and texts. I visited her about 9 months ago, and shortly after that, the strong feelings seemed to develop.

Thanks again


I wanted to clarify when I said "emotionless" I was referring to my part. I care for my wife, and she loves me, even tries to show it, but I have never been real receptive, so it has OK for me, insofar as my needs were met, her's not so much. I feel bad about that, but I have told her before that is just the way I am.
Thanks
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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby justonemoreperson » Tue Jun 16, 2020 7:33 am

wheeldawg wrote:
I wanted to clarify when I said "emotionless" I was referring to my part. I care for my wife, and she loves me, even tries to show it, but I have never been real receptive, so it has OK for me, insofar as my needs were met, her's not so much. I feel bad about that, but I have told her before that is just the way I am.


Knowing that she needs more than you naturally give, how do you compensate?
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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby salles » Tue Jun 16, 2020 7:52 am

wheeldawg wrote:Thanks for the response so far.

With regards to the anger part, I don’t do it frequently, at least not anymore, but similar to what was said above, I hold it in for a long time and then something small appears to set me off, when in fact it was just the cumulation of all the previous issues.

I have been accused of this. But my stance is, that I, and maybe others, are not actually holding it in. It is genuine apathy/disinterest that causes a lack of expression on most occasions. Except when certain factors merge example fatigue, unusual triggers, stress, combine to cause an expression or reaction. I hate when people accuse me of bottling it in and that it builds up. How T.F would they know. I believe it is not actually the case.

Back to your original query:
wheeldawg wrote:The main thing that gives me pause about the diagnosis is that I have had, and currently have, some very strong emotions of affection for a young lady (I am male)

I think romantic Love and infatuation can be very much part of the schizoid personality. SPD lends itself to fanciful thinking at times, regardless of whether it is acted upon. The nature of the disorder is not synonymous with logic or rational thinking. Romantic Love/infatuation is often irrational. I have been in Love several times. The problems emerge when romantic Love wears off and one may find they are trapped in a reality that has not lived up to their fantasy.
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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby justonemoreperson » Tue Jun 16, 2020 8:07 am

salles wrote:I have been accused of this. But my stance is, that I, and maybe others, are not actually holding it in. It is genuine apathy/disinterest that causes a lack of expression on most occasions. Except when certain factors merge example fatigue, unusual triggers, stress, combine to cause an expression or reaction. I hate when people accuse me of bottling it in and that it builds up. How T.F would they know. I believe it is not actually the case.


What do you consider "unusual triggers"?
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