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Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby salles » Tue Jun 16, 2020 9:26 am

justonemoreperson wrote:
salles wrote:What do you consider "unusual triggers"?

Just lost my long response to this :|
Lucky you :)
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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby HSS » Tue Jun 16, 2020 10:03 am

wheeldawg wrote:Thanks for the response so far.

With regards to the anger part, I don’t do it frequently, at least not anymore, but similar to what was said above, I hold it in for a long time and then something small appears to set me off, when in fact it was just the cumulation of all the previous issues.

The relationship/emotional feelings I have are also infrequent, but when they occur, as they are now, they are pretty intense. I have been in a fairly emotionless marriage for 25 years and am a recovering alcoholic too. Clean and sober now for 3-years. When I was drunk, I expressed emotion, but when sober, I do not. Is that true of SPD diagnosed individuals too? The person I have the strong feelings for is not my wife, but someone I met in recovery 3-years ago, and have stayed in infrequent contact with via social media and texts. I visited her about 9 months ago, and shortly after that, the strong feelings seemed to develop.

Thanks again


You're welcome. :) I am pretty sure that for a schizoid personality is possible to express emotion while drunk, as I had a knowledge doing that. I don't know if it's possible for someone with the disorder; here again, I think it depends on severity.
About love, yes it's possible, I agree with Salles.
“Humor is reason gone mad."

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby poxalis » Tue Jun 16, 2020 5:28 pm

justonemoreperson wrote:
salles wrote:I have been accused of this. But my stance is, that I, and maybe others, are not actually holding it in. It is genuine apathy/disinterest that causes a lack of expression on most occasions. Except when certain factors merge example fatigue, unusual triggers, stress, combine to cause an expression or reaction. I hate when people accuse me of bottling it in and that it builds up. How T.F would they know. I believe it is not actually the case.


What do you consider "unusual triggers"?


I think that a lot of schizoids are dissociated from emotional responses. the emotions exist and when they rise up the mind starts to withdraw. there was a thread a while back about detaching in social situations. personally, bigger places with more people cause more over stimulation and stress and i grow more and more flat--outwardly and inwardly. it's how i face stressful or emotional situations.

however, like i said, the emotions can be created and I don't always detach. for instance, finding out someone stole from me. the situation isn't really stressful, but it is anger inducing. so i don't dissociate. instead i get very angry. remove the schizoid stressor and i can unleash a strong emotion.

i also find that i regularly dream in emotions. i think it's my mind's way of expressing feelings it can't regularly while awake. just shove 'em down until im dreaming in "anger". i've woken up slamming my fist into furniture while thrashing and yelling in rage. though that was one extreme instance.
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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby salles » Wed Jun 17, 2020 8:04 am

justonemoreperson wrote:
salles wrote:What do you consider "unusual triggers"?

I only say 'unusual' in that others find it hard to know what is going to trigger me or not.
It is unpredictable to myself .
But after giving this considerable thought I think everyone's triggers stem from a perceived injury to their sense of self. This is going to vary based on one's level of narcissism, paranoia, fatigue, childhood experiences, life experiences and learned reactions. Because I have led a vastly different life and am different in nature to those I have to currently live and work with, my triggers are often interpreted by others as 'unusual', but for me they make perfect sense.

Apart from this, another trigger for me, and many, stems from perceiving others as stupid/ignorant. If they are in a position of power and I have to kowtow to them... that makes me wild, which is why I cannot handle bureaucracy or jobs that entail customer service. One could say this is a 'perception' probably... but really it is not. It is an unfortunate fact of life that many morons are in a position of power.
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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby wheeldawg » Thu Jun 18, 2020 2:10 pm

justonemoreperson wrote:
wheeldawg wrote:
I wanted to clarify when I said "emotionless" I was referring to my part. I care for my wife, and she loves me, even tries to show it, but I have never been real receptive, so it has OK for me, insofar as my needs were met, her's not so much. I feel bad about that, but I have told her before that is just the way I am.


Knowing that she needs more than you naturally give, how do you compensate?


I have tried to compensate by letting her get more dogs (she is a dog lover), however that kind of backfired on me as now she has way too many and that does not set well with me, but I understand I allowed it to happen. Part of my Program requires that I see my part in things like that.
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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby wheeldawg » Thu Jun 18, 2020 2:13 pm

salles wrote:
wheeldawg wrote:Thanks for the response so far.

With regards to the anger part, I don’t do it frequently, at least not anymore, but similar to what was said above, I hold it in for a long time and then something small appears to set me off, when in fact it was just the cumulation of all the previous issues.

I have been accused of this. But my stance is, that I, and maybe others, are not actually holding it in. It is genuine apathy/disinterest that causes a lack of expression on most occasions. Except when certain factors merge example fatigue, unusual triggers, stress, combine to cause an expression or reaction. I hate when people accuse me of bottling it in and that it builds up. How T.F would they know. I believe it is not actually the case.

Back to your original query:
wheeldawg wrote:The main thing that gives me pause about the diagnosis is that I have had, and currently have, some very strong emotions of affection for a young lady (I am male)

I think romantic Love and infatuation can be very much part of the schizoid personality. SPD lends itself to fanciful thinking at times, regardless of whether it is acted upon. The nature of the disorder is not synonymous with logic or rational thinking. Romantic Love/infatuation is often irrational. I have been in Love several times. The problems emerge when romantic Love wears off and one may find they are trapped in a reality that has not lived up to their fantasy.


This makes sense to me, and I had kind of thought this as one of my possibilities. Thanks for posting this.
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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby justonemoreperson » Fri Jun 19, 2020 7:48 am

wheeldawg wrote:
I have tried to compensate by letting her get more dogs (she is a dog lover), however that kind of backfired on me as now she has way too many and that does not set well with me, but I understand I allowed it to happen. Part of my Program requires that I see my part in things like that.


What about day-to-day stuff? I'm assuming you don't just throw another dog at her every few days, so do you acknowledge her needs on a daily basis?

For example: if she's been on the phone with a family member or friend, do you ask her about them when she's done? Do you recognise when she's not feeling right and do things to support her and help?

I know it's not the same condition, but one of the issues I have is completely missing small tell-tale signs that things are not right and I expect fixes to repair the way she's feeling, not acknowledging that it will still take time to improve.
I'm not arguing; I'm explaining why I'm right.
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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby mrperson » Fri Jun 19, 2020 4:10 pm

most of the time im emotionless i dont have strong emotions except maybe emotions that make me move away from people
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Re: Recently diagnosed SPD, but unsure

Postby wheeldawg » Fri Jun 19, 2020 4:54 pm

justonemoreperson wrote:
wheeldawg wrote:
I have tried to compensate by letting her get more dogs (she is a dog lover), however that kind of backfired on me as now she has way too many and that does not set well with me, but I understand I allowed it to happen. Part of my Program requires that I see my part in things like that.


What about day-to-day stuff? I'm assuming you don't just throw another dog at her every few days, so do you acknowledge her needs on a daily basis?

For example: if she's been on the phone with a family member or friend, do you ask her about them when she's done? Do you recognise when she's not feeling right and do things to support her and help?

I know it's not the same condition, but one of the issues I have is completely missing small tell-tale signs that things are not right and I expect fixes to repair the way she's feeling, not acknowledging that it will still take time to improve.


No, I don't do anything day-to-day. Never have, and I always miss those, perhaps normal to everyone else, signals that something is not right. For me, if you want me to fix something, you are likely going to have to tell me something is broken. Perhaps I am in my own little world, or perhaps I’m just a slow learner, but I just have never been one to pick up on things like that. And if she was on the phone with someone, unless there was something I overheard that sounded like I needed to be involved, I would not care what was discussed.
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