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SPDs in management positions

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SPDs in management positions

Postby Ringil » Wed Dec 11, 2019 10:03 pm

Hi,

according to a doctor I do have a schizoid personality, but not yet SPD. (I'm married etc. So it's a bit between the normal dogs and the full package of iron independence for me :)

Recently I got promoted from a schizoid-heaven-software-developer-state-the-whole-day-in-the-screen-position into a management position. Not very special, 2 years time, a few million $ budget, leading a few people. Finally I was cut from the position because people found me strange and not diplomatic enough. Also I couldn't fight the NPDs and AsPDs, Machiawellis etc. who tried (and finally succeeded) to steal the prestigious project from me. Manipulative A...s and liars, I hate them :evil:

However, now I can - with this position in my CV - easily get more well payed manager jobs.

Now I have fear. Returning to a less social demanding pc-job is attractive, but payed only halve as much, additionally coding became boring to me after I did this for 20 years. However, what when I'll always struggle to connect to people ? When it was true that I'm not diplomatic enough ?

Any SPDs here doing a manager job ? How do you survive ?

Thanks,
Ringil
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Re: SPDs in management positions

Postby poxalis » Thu Dec 12, 2019 12:55 am

Depended on the situation. I did well as a store manager. No one hovering over me, was mostly dealing with training new employees, customer service, and doing my own thing. The owner, when there, was mostly in their office. It was easy and people found me pleasant. However, office setting middle management was a nightmare. The standard employees were fine but the people with power were too much to handle. Always asking for things and wanting more (things I didn't even do), always blaming me for mistakes, always judging me for how I did things and complaining. Once I quit they asked me back. It was ridiculous. I quit the store manager job for essentially the same reason though--hating my boss. Once I spot blood in the water I develop a rich resentment. I guess this is more an antisocial PD thing, issues with authority. I despise all my bosses.
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Re: SPDs in management positions

Postby AArgon » Thu Dec 12, 2019 9:14 pm

The best advise I have is to document everything. You need to spend half you time doing that. And be aware that some people are going to try to push you buttons. Remember that before every interaction and document everything after every meeting.
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Re: SPDs in management positions

Postby Ringil » Thu Dec 12, 2019 9:43 pm

Thanks for sharing your experience. Interesting topic with the boss-hate-rate. I despised about 80% of my bosses, but I cannot find a pattern that explains who's in and who not. Well, not the best precondition for a management role I guess :) Maybe I should really leave this up to some NPD people, who make wrong decisions all day long, but no one ever notices because they're perfect in blaming someone else :)
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Re: SPDs in management positions

Postby poxalis » Thu Dec 12, 2019 9:46 pm

BTW, I didn't mean to sound like i had AsPD (which I don't). Just that it's not a very schizoid feature I was describing.

In the end I left "work" entirely and have attempted being my own boss.... so far the results aren't promising. Good luck.
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Re: SPDs in management positions

Postby Cholls » Fri Dec 13, 2019 12:16 am

Ringil wrote:...I got promoted from a schizoid-heaven-software-developer-state-the-whole-day-in-the-screen-position into a management position. Not very special, 2 years time, a few million $ budget, leading a few people. Finally I was cut from the position because people found me strange and not diplomatic enough. Also I couldn't fight the NPDs and AsPDs, Machiawellis etc. who tried (and finally succeeded) to steal the prestigious project from me. Manipulative A...s and liars, I hate them :evil:

Had something similar happen to me. One of my top feel-good stories.

An extremely unattractive, bespectacled supah-smarmy, hyper PC brown-nosing Caucasian male, T, with a short blond afro (he was pret-ty ugleh) and his loud female sidekick, L, tried to take over my job and make me their secretary.

It was surreal. Against all odds, somehow, they were so inept that, despite pulling every filthy trick in the book, they failed.

I moved on to another job. Even then, T was denied my position =D

One day, I got a call at home from my friend, Ken, the only Black guy in the office at my old job, and --> the only person I've ever known who had my back 100% of the time, many times <--, even when doing so greatly inconvenienced him.

Ken was practically jumping up and down with glee (no "pretending to care" here), because, apparently, T had blown out all his internal organs by chugging antifreeze. Ken told me that L came into the office, crying, telling everyone, and looking directly at Ken, who, without even feigning sadness, just looked right. back. at. her. Ken said L kept looking at him, waiting for him to look sad.

Remembering that always makes me smile. T was such a PC brown-noser. There's something between inserting your nose between superiors' glutæi and blowing out your guts chugging antifreeze. A lot of creatures out there fail to realize this.

Having a friend like Ken is a life-changing experience. He helps me to put all the other little turds into perspective.

-:- -:- -:-

Anyway, Ringil, some times you'll be around outstanding, life-changing people, and sometimes you'll be surrounded by the deeply personality-disordered. Seriously, is the money really worth all the stress?
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Re: SPDs in management positions

Postby Ringil » Fri Dec 13, 2019 9:18 pm

Thanks all of you, this really helps me.

@Poxalis: Thanks for clarifying the absence of AsPD. Indeed I googled "SPD and AsPD" yesterday because I find both almost contradictory and wondered if I have a wrong concept of all the more or less fitting "PD" labels.

So, I will make a shopping list:
- pen and paper
- a book on how to live with less money
- the book "lean startup" from Eric Ries
- a gallon of antifreeze for my successor, well no off course. Better two gallons :lol:
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Re: SPDs in management positions

Postby Oblivion » Fri Dec 13, 2019 10:38 pm

Cholls wrote:There's something between inserting your nose between superiors' glutæi and blowing out your guts chugging antifreeze. A lot of creatures out there fail to realize this.


:lol:
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Re: SPDs in management positions

Postby Ashlar » Mon Dec 16, 2019 8:22 pm

I've always kinda been pushed into management/leadership roles. As a kid I "ran" the games we played in the neighborhood or among family. When I spent some brief time as a cadet in a military-adjacent program they wanted me to rank all the way up and do all the things. In jobs and gaming I'm always naturally put towards the top of the list of people to run things.

But "I dun wan it" Is pretty much also always a part of it. I don't like the attention, I don't desire the power or authority, and I'm certainly not going to play petty games. So frequently this has resulted in someone else that wants it more being permitted to do the thing, and inevitably they are worse at it.

If whatever organization is a body of water, and you have some people wanting to be big fish in a little pond, some people are fighting with each other at any given time, some are all about having the shiny scales or whatever. I feel like I'm frequently the lurker in the depths. Something older, more alien, and more dangerous, but also perfectly happy to just sit on the bottom and mind my own business.
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Re: SPDs in management positions

Postby Ringil » Tue Dec 17, 2019 10:04 pm

I can feel what you mean, Ashlar. Nice pictures, thanks.

Recently I saw (in a children's book) a picture of a wizard. All alone in his wizard tower, brewing some mighty potions. And I thought how nice the life must be as a lone Wizard. I remember this picture when I'm confronted - which I am right now - with the choice between a management or a specialists role.

So to become a lone wizard I could buy a gallon of antifreeze for everyone in my office ... Ok, same joke twice, sorry.

Funny that schizoid people can be pretty deadly (politically) in the office. I can (politically) sting people who are mightier than me because I don't fear the consequences. In fact I'd enjoy the consequences maybe subcontiously, i.e. more social isolation. This matches a bit what you call "more dangerous" maybe. At least I'm capable of unpredictable responses when someone pisses me of. I'm taking more damage in this situation usually than I caused on my opponent, so technically I loose, but I don't care about the balance. I stroke back, made my point, and I'm kind of invincible anyway as long as I don't care so much - but the opponent cares, so in my world I won :) Does this make any sence ?
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