Our partner

Schizoid + schizoid couple, anyone here?

Schizoid Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: Tyler

Schizoid + schizoid couple, anyone here?

Postby Igntec » Mon Oct 14, 2019 2:40 pm

I wonder if someone here who is schizoid, is in relationship or married with another schizoid? Or maybe someone knows such couple? Share please.
Igntec
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2015 3:43 pm
Local time: Tue Jul 07, 2020 11:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Schizoid + schizoid couple, anyone here?

Postby Tyler » Tue Oct 15, 2019 11:34 am

My ex-boyfriend of five years was diagnosed Schizoid. He wasn't into a lot of the stuff you'd want out of a relationship. No cuddling, no sweet talk, no affection outside of sex. He'd only ever tell me that he loved me over a text message. Not once did he say it aloud. I didn't care because I cared about him. Well, as time went on, I started to matter less and less to him. I ended it a lot later than what I should have, and there are days that I do miss him, but I'm happier without him.
Email me if you want a doughnut
Image
Image
Diagnosed: Schizoaffective Disorder Bi-polar type Rapid Cycling.

Forum Rules

Heck ( • ̀ω•́ )
User avatar
Tyler
Moderator: Consumer
Moderator: Consumer
 
Posts: 5421
Joined: Fri Apr 04, 2014 8:26 pm
Local time: Tue Jul 07, 2020 5:50 am
Blog: View Blog (4)

Re: Schizoid + schizoid couple, anyone here?

Postby poxalis » Thu Dec 05, 2019 6:49 pm

Igntec wrote:I wonder if someone here who is schizoid, is in relationship or married with another schizoid? Or maybe someone knows such couple? Share please.

i don't know what he is but it's something similar. yet, we are also so different. communication is hard. usually it's best if we don't communicate seriously. we usually wander around like a couple of jokers playing slap ass. a real conversation ends with the dead quiet found near a bomb drop. it would be easier if we could just crash together sexually when the need arises and then saunter off to our respective corners. communicate via written word like we used to. instead we have kids. it makes us have to be a team and it's as dramatic and stressful as every other relationship.

overall he's much less tedious than other males i've been with in regards to the relationship itself. past boyfriends looked at me like a psychopath. now i'm the emotional one in the relationship, lol. my exes also liked to describe me as manly since i wasn't loving and was mainly concerned with sex. it made me feel detached and dominating.
User avatar
poxalis
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 749
Joined: Tue Sep 27, 2016 7:01 pm
Local time: Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Schizoid + schizoid couple, anyone here?

Postby apatheticnonexistenc » Sun Mar 01, 2020 6:23 am

i started wondering if a schizoid/schizoid relationship would work. at first i thought it would be perfect but then i immediately started thinking of personality conflict, it would be like 2 same polarized sides of a magnet trying to get together, i think schizoids need people that are insistent & somewhat pushy otherwise we'd just fade away into non interaction

like all the planets would have to align for 2 schizoids to be up for doing stuff together naturally, if one person isn't being pushy it just won't happen most of the time. at that point can you even call it a relationship when you only see each other every once in a blue moon?

i just don't really see it working long term. dating for schizoids is a catch 22, there's no winning
apatheticnonexistenc
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2020 5:35 am
Local time: Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Schizoid + schizoid couple, anyone here?

Postby Ringil » Fri Mar 06, 2020 9:49 pm

Experience from a former relationship.
I (male): Diagnosed "schizoid personality" (but not SPD)
Partner (female): Diagnosed "schizophrenia" and I'm pretty sure also a personality in schizoid direction

Didn't work out, I must admit I was the fool that time and screwed it. But I was not that specific kind of fool with other partners that had - as far as I can tell - no schizodid personality traits. So maybe the SP-SP-Relationship was fueling that specific kind of foolishness.

Problems:
- Two quiet people with less affects form a couple with very low interaction energy.
- I had the socially dominating role, but I wasn't used play that role because usually I'm not the one who is dominating a social context. But with a partner who is also less dominating, suddenly I found myself in that position.

Although there was a deeper sense of understanding, a perfect fit in how we were seeing the world (maybe she would disagree on that, don't know :), there was something missing. My wife now has probably (undiagnosed, she'd never see a doctor who investigates her and puts a stigma on her if s/he finds something ... typical axis-b ... :) some kind of strong and sometimes very unpleasant axis-b personality. And that's a far better fit. She loves me for being even-tempered and - cite - a rock in the breakers. And I love her emotions and her interaction, that is possible to surpass the walls around me.

Anyway, despite having an anti-schizoid partner can be tiresome, I think it works better. Also for the children, now they can take the worst of both worlds into their own personality if they want to :)

(Which doesn't mean, I'd have dumped my possibly schizoid type ex for an axis-b counterpart. I would not have left her probably. Which, again, is strange like the dominating thing, because in the other relationships always I was the one who pulled back. But not here, maybe she was more schizoid than me :) Ok and I really screwed it, sorry for her, long time ago.)
User avatar
Ringil
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 30
Joined: Fri Aug 16, 2019 10:22 pm
Local time: Tue Jul 07, 2020 10:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Schizoid + schizoid couple, anyone here?

Postby DaturaInnoxia » Tue Mar 10, 2020 5:21 am

Tyler wrote:My ex-boyfriend of five years was diagnosed Schizoid. He wasn't into a lot of the stuff you'd want out of a relationship. No cuddling, no sweet talk, no affection outside of sex. He'd only ever tell me that he loved me over a text message. Not once did he say it aloud. I didn't care because I cared about him. Well, as time went on, I started to matter less and less to him. I ended it a lot later than what I should have, and there are days that I do miss him, but I'm happier without him.


Tyler, don't answer if it's too personal, but have you ever dated a non-mentally ill guy?
They collect information to stock pile in their souls, saying, "I will tuck this into my subconscious for later use."  ~ unknown
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
User avatar
DaturaInnoxia
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1287
Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2018 5:21 am
Local time: Tue Jul 07, 2020 1:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Schizoid + schizoid couple, anyone here?

Postby Igntec » Fri Apr 10, 2020 11:52 pm

I asked about two schizoids relationship because I have concerns with my current relationship.

My girlfriend requires strong emotional connection. Its tiresome to constantly respond emotionally. Sometimes I become aggressive.

When I am disconnected she says: Where are you?
When I am aggressive its too harsh for her.

I found the job I wanted, it keeps me interested and satisfies my ego. I gave physical card to her, since she does more shopping. I have another card, I can transfer money to, when I need them.

And she spends all money on clothes, manicure, face masks, iphone, perfume. It irritates me that she spends everything too fast, and in the end of month she asks about new salary because she has no money left.

On the other hand, I spend some money on helping people that ended up in difficult situation. They post on one site, and I transfer money on their bank card. For me its important not to lose myself, and adhere to moral.

I understand that we live in physical world, and physical things are important. However I can't stand the idea of wolves laws, and dont want to sacrifice moral for respect and status.

What I miss in this relationship:
1. Someone with same views on moral
2. Someone who gives more understanding and personal space

Schizoids are not people without motivation, who need special push from their partner to make something happen. I see it this way.

What do you think about it?
Igntec
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2015 3:43 pm
Local time: Tue Jul 07, 2020 11:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Schizoid + schizoid couple, anyone here?

Postby DaturaInnoxia » Sat Apr 11, 2020 2:09 am

Igntec wrote:requires strong emotional connection


▪ I always want to know how people define "needing emotional connection"

- Maybe you could connect the personal space you need with the money she spends.

- For example, you can say that you will give her a lot of closeness, but tell her it will mean you won't have the same earning capacity - which means she won't be able to buy herself all the "extras" she likes.
^
Highlight her favorite expensive things she likes to buy and say there won't be money for it

- Or, give her the alternative that if you are to continue to provide luxuries, you need your personal space, so you don't burn out and end up earning less.

- Or maybe say if emotional connection is so important to her, she can come do your "moral" activities / charity work with you and then you two will have plenty of time for each other.
Throw in that it'll make you two closer by her knowing what is so deeply valuable to you.

- I may be wrong but I don't think you can change people's morality - you can decide what you're ok with being around (and maybe if you're close enough, make a request about a behavior while being fully aware that they may not comply and then make your decision from there whether you continue with the person or not).

Then again, I'm a tad ###$ up, so I'm not sure if i should be offering opinions lest I end up destroying peoples relationships

I think healthier replies would be: couples therapy, communication skills, chloroform when she gets too irritating...
They collect information to stock pile in their souls, saying, "I will tuck this into my subconscious for later use."  ~ unknown
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
User avatar
DaturaInnoxia
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1287
Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2018 5:21 am
Local time: Tue Jul 07, 2020 1:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Schizoid + schizoid couple, anyone here?

Postby Igntec » Sat Apr 11, 2020 11:31 am

DaturaInnoxia wrote:chloroform when she gets too irritating...


Are you kidding? Its toxic.

Chlorprothixene, in rare cases quetiapin. They are antipsychotics with sedative effect. With some negative effects though.
Igntec
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2015 3:43 pm
Local time: Tue Jul 07, 2020 11:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Schizoid + schizoid couple, anyone here?

Postby Igntec » Sat Apr 11, 2020 11:54 am

DaturaInnoxia wrote:▪ I always want to know how people define "needing emotional connection"


When you provide emotional reaction that your partner needs. The partner can see that you care, approve/disapprove, what you are up to, etc.

On the other hand, when you disconnect, you are unreadable and up to your own feelings and thoughts.

-- Sat Apr 11, 2020 2:03 pm --

DaturaInnoxia wrote:I think healthier replies would be: couples therapy


She will not go for that. She is impatient, and doesnt want our relationship to be exposed. Also it requires additional expenses.
Igntec
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2015 3:43 pm
Local time: Tue Jul 07, 2020 11:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Next

Return to Schizoid Personality Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 25 guests