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We like being alone because...

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We like being alone because...

Postby d3xx » Sun Aug 04, 2019 4:37 am

The standard spiel about schizoid/avoidant types is we prefer our own company and dont like other people. But is this always true? For me its not. I like people, but i dont like how i feel when i'm around them - awkward, uncomfortable, self conscious, drained. Its also why i like vicarious activities like reading fiction, watching movies, playing video games. "I" am not present in these things - i get to read/see interesting people doing interesting things without me present to screw it up.
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Re: We like being alone because...

Postby salles » Sun Aug 04, 2019 8:40 pm

Because not having to speak is very relaxing. I would like to take a vow of silence and try it out as a social experiment.
I guess it would mean I become unemployable. I would LOVE to put bureaucrats through the torture of having to deal with it; my handwritten notes and emoji's thrust in their faces.
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Re: We like being alone because...

Postby smirks » Mon Aug 05, 2019 1:17 am

Being alone is what makes me feel happy and healthy. I think it's nice to just take some time to focus on your own wellbeing. I rarely feel like I am doing something healthy when I am with other people.
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Re: We like being alone because...

Postby Schizological1 » Mon Aug 05, 2019 9:00 pm

salles wrote:Because not having to speak is very relaxing. I would like to take a vow of silence and try it out as a social experiment.
I guess it would mean I become unemployable. I would LOVE to put bureaucrats through the torture of having to deal with it; my handwritten notes and emoji's thrust in their faces.


this is a very good excuse to avoid speaking to people, i consider trying it, this way you can be with people without it being so hard and maybe walk around with a sign that says "i vowed to be silence because of religious reasons" or some $#%^

on topic- a schizoid is not himself around people, he is his mask, so i dont enjoy interacting with people but maybe it can partly relief loneliness for me for a little while
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Re: We like being alone because...

Postby salles » Tue Aug 06, 2019 6:34 am

Eldror wrote:this is a very good excuse to avoid speaking to people, i consider trying it, this way you can be with people without it being so hard and maybe walk around with a sign that says "i vowed to be silence because of religious reasons" or some $#%^


In this age of political correctness one has a chance of pulling it off. :)
Although something like this might be easier, for me at least
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Re: We like being alone because...

Postby Schizological1 » Tue Aug 06, 2019 11:11 am

salles wrote:
Eldror wrote:this is a very good excuse to avoid speaking to people, i consider trying it, this way you can be with people without it being so hard and maybe walk around with a sign that says "i vowed to be silence because of religious reasons" or some $#%^


In this age of political correctness one has a chance of pulling it off. :)
Although something like this might be easier, for me at least
Image


Lol i imagine people saying "who's that guy inside those curtains?" and you're like dont mind me, im a lamp
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Re: We like being alone because...

Postby Cholls » Fri Aug 09, 2019 8:50 pm

Why not try my approach:

*mod edit*

d3xx wrote:The standard spiel about schizoid/avoidant types is we prefer our own company and dont like other people. But is this always true? For me its not. I like people, but i dont like how i feel when i'm around them - awkward, uncomfortable, self conscious, drained. Its also why i like vicarious activities like reading fiction, watching movies, playing video games. "I" am not present in these things - i get to read/see interesting people doing interesting things without me present to screw it up.

Totally.

When I was a kid, my mother would always harshly criticize my behavior after we got home. Consequently, when on autopilot, I still do this to myself.

Today, even after having had a great time with other people outside the house in real life, I'll come home and mentally turn the event into a massive social faux pas on my part, resent those with whom I'd had a good time, start avoiding them, and then eventually alienate them.

It's my habit and totally messed up. Very, very, very hard to remain consistently aware of all the stuff I have to work on. Add walking and breathing to that and the situation goes beyond impossible.
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Re: We like being alone because...

Postby Oblivion » Sat Aug 10, 2019 4:19 pm

*mod edit*
Today, even after having had a great time with other people outside the house in real life...


I never have a great time with other people any more. Maybe an acceptably tolerable time, or an interesting time, but I always feel like I'm in the interim, waiting for something better (ie. being alone.)

...I'll come home and mentally turn the event into a massive social faux pas on my part, resent those with whom I'd had a good time, start avoiding them, and then eventually alienate them.


I don't even care anymore. I let it go because I care more about what I think of myself than what others do. Besides, I know I'll just be as socially sloppy the next time, so what's the point?
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Re: We like being alone because...

Postby Eccentric » Wed Sep 18, 2019 6:55 am

d3xx wrote:The standard spiel about schizoid/avoidant types is we prefer our own company and dont like other people. But is this always true? For me its not. I like people, but i dont like how i feel when i'm around them - awkward, uncomfortable, self conscious, drained. Its also why i like vicarious activities like reading fiction, watching movies, playing video games. "I" am not present in these things - i get to read/see interesting people doing interesting things without me present to screw it up.


I wouldn't go so far as to say that I don't like people.. I think personally it has more to do with an indifference to small talk. That and the fact that I have a naturally quiet speaking voice, so talking always feels like something that requires great effort, and so I usually won't say a thing unless it's absolutely necessary.

Although lately I've started to wonder if my preference for solitude boils down to the fact that the people in my small town are really quite bland and unrelatable. I often find myself fantasizing about having an engaging conversation with a truly interesting individual.. until I realize that such a person would probably find me to be too bland to converse with. :cry:
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Re: We like being alone because...

Postby Schizological1 » Wed Sep 18, 2019 1:53 pm

Eccentric wrote:
d3xx wrote:The standard spiel about schizoid/avoidant types is we prefer our own company and dont like other people. But is this always true? For me its not. I like people, but i dont like how i feel when i'm around them - awkward, uncomfortable, self conscious, drained. Its also why i like vicarious activities like reading fiction, watching movies, playing video games. "I" am not present in these things - i get to read/see interesting people doing interesting things without me present to screw it up.


I wouldn't go so far as to say that I don't like people.. I think personally it has more to do with an indifference to small talk. That and the fact that I have a naturally quiet speaking voice, so talking always feels like something that requires great effort, and so I usually won't say a thing unless it's absolutely necessary.

Although lately I've started to wonder if my preference for solitude boils down to the fact that the people in my small town are really quite bland and unrelatable. I often find myself fantasizing about having an engaging conversation with a truly interesting individual.. until I realize that such a person would probably find me to be too bland to converse with. :cry:


ah that sucks, everybody quits eventually when they try to talk to a rock, thats my expirience and it sucks that this is the only way i can do at this moment
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