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Do I have Schizoid Personality Disorder?

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Do I have Schizoid Personality Disorder?

Postby hera20 » Tue Dec 11, 2018 8:15 pm

I haven't got myself diagnosed by the psychiatrist. It was just recently when I'm trying to figure myself what am I actually? For more than 15 years I have to deal with phone phobia. I get super anxious receiving a call and making a call. I also avoid calls from my friends which is a way for me to make an excuse to not hanging out with them. I don't really have many friends in my entire life; maximum only 2 at a time.

Anyways, when I searched for why do I isolate myself from other people, it leads me to schizoid personality resources. I've read all stories about it and I can relate with most of them. Three years being jobless, living with my parents; the fact that it's frustrating me because I know when I start working I have to meet new people. Bonding with friends are quite nuisance what more to start a new friendship with new people. The problem is just that I need to work but I have no energy and motivation.

My relationship experience is only once in my entire life (I'm 30 years old now). The relationship last for 8 years and it ended in just one night. One day I decided to disappear without saying a proper goodbye. The thing is during our relationship, I hate being affectionate, our relationship started only because I feel comfortable with him it's not more than that. Breaking up is not a painful thing. I just move along with my life without any guilt. People around me said I was being so ruthless towards my ex. To other people, I treat them like 'crap' I mean even if somebody wanted to do a birthday surprise for me I disappoint them by saying no. I hate surprise and party. It's so suffocating being there in a group and being the center of attention. I don't give a crap on how people feel as long as no one getting in my comfort zone. Sometimes looking back at it, there's several occasion of me being an a**hole it's like I'm not appreciating others around me. However, it's quite wonderful cutting contacts with people and go into hiding because there's no need for me to know about other people's life. Less drama is good.

I'm so curious on how schizoid develop, it's vague for me. Speaking of traumatic events in my life. I have to deal with my one and only best friend passing when I was 6. It was so sudden by the way. The other thing might be because of our family had to move a lot from state to other state due to my dad's job. So the moment I felt comfortable with new friends, I have to move again. Saying goodbye is nothing for me. My friends cried but I couldn't figure it out as why they cry back then. Other note is I have no experience of abuse nor my parent's way of parenting.

I want to ask opinion if I have a criteria of someone with schizoid personality disorder? I know I should get myself diagnosed but meeting psychiatrist is quite pricey in my country. One of my family member had OCD and depression, the cost of those medicines are so expensive which I can't afford it for now. I need to have a job first. Is there any method to brace myself communicating with people? How serious is my condition to you? I need a reality check by the way. Thanks for helping in advance.
hera20
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Re: Do I have Schizoid Personality Disorder?

Postby naps » Wed Dec 12, 2018 7:20 pm

hera20 wrote:I want to ask opinion if I have a criteria of someone with schizoid personality disorder?


https://www.psychforums.com/schizoid-personality/topic2066.html

I know I should get myself diagnosed but meeting psychiatrist is quite pricey in my country. One of my family member had OCD and depression, the cost of those medicines are so expensive which I can't afford it for now.


There is no medication for SPD.

Is there any method to brace myself communicating with people?


That's actually a good question. I usually wait until the last minute, when the consequences of not communicating outweigh the discomfort of communicating. Not much of a method, but that's all I've got for you.

How serious is my condition to you?


Not bad. There's nothing you've written that I haven't seen discussed here before. A lot of it is quite common for introverts in general. But I can relate to a lot of it.

Welcome to the forum, by the way.
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