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Anyone Like Being Isolated?

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Anyone Like Being Isolated?

Postby CityMouse » Fri Oct 12, 2018 10:34 pm

I don't feel safe around people. I fear they will try to control me. For example, I fear that I will get pressured to an anti racist activist and serve some cause that isn't for me, just because I happen to be black. My own experiences will be erased or go alongside theirs when mine don't go along side theirs, anti racists are purely concerned with racism--not sexism, not homophobia, definitely not mental illness. Malcolm X follows me around harassing me into being an activist, marrying within my race, converting to Islam, having activist children, basically being a sheep.

I think avoidance is the best revenge. My life has vastly improved now that I've started avoiding people. People are total control freaks.
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Re: Anyone Like Being Isolated?

Postby CityMouse » Fri Oct 12, 2018 11:04 pm

I've evolved again. Now I'm indifferent to people. I'm starting to realize that no one cares about my stupid problems. I'm not important. My life amounts to nothing. I'll be dead and forgotten in no time.

I think I grew up being the center of attention, albeit mostly negative.

Well the school bell has at long last rung. I'm indifferent to people.
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Re: Anyone Like Being Isolated?

Postby xcagedsilhouttex » Sat Oct 13, 2018 12:01 am

It doesn't seem like you are genuinely indifferent to people but that you would rather act indifferent towards them.

I can understand the nihilistic thinking although I generally don't take universal indifference in a negative way.

Back to your original topic, I like being on my own so I do isolate myself. I force myself to partake in "social saturdays". My therapist thinks it's a good idea.
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Anorexia Nervosa (F50)
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Re: Anyone Like Being Isolated?

Postby smirks » Sat Oct 13, 2018 6:09 pm

I like being isolated, sure, but for different reasons than you, I think.

I don't think about my relationships with other people all that much. I don't fear them. I'm not angry at them. I don't care if they forget about me. I don't want revenge on them. I just really enjoy being able to relax by myself.

I know you say that you are indifferent to people, but the way you write about them contains a lot of emotional wording.
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Re: Anyone Like Being Isolated?

Postby naps » Mon Oct 15, 2018 12:30 pm

I like being alone. Actually, I require it.

The word isolated has connotations that make me uncomfortable. I think there's a big difference between being alone and being isolated.

I've been feeling needy lately. Like I want to go to lunch with someone or something.

I have no idea how to feel about that.
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Re: Anyone Like Being Isolated?

Postby iabsurdlyexist » Mon Oct 15, 2018 1:22 pm

I think so but I have been married for 20 years so no idea really. I'd say I go through cycles. I wouldn't say it's an interest to be close to someone but more of a curiosity about people in general. Just to get another taste before going back to my hole. Being married with kids keeps me tied to the world without having to go out and interact with unknowns. However, news and my wife's friends offer different perspectives and something for my mind to churn.

When I worked, I had a lunch buddy. It was basically someone who mostly shared the same contempt for our management. I think it's good to get others perspectives. I also struggle with anxiety/paranoia so lunch by myself can be hit or miss. I'm craving McGriddles again and considering the customer base, I have no problem eating at McDonalds by myself. Sometimes, I feel that is enough exposure to the outside world.
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Re: Anyone Like Being Isolated?

Postby emillionth » Tue Oct 16, 2018 6:48 am

I guess liking something is always relative to something else. So, within the universe of real possibility and the real world, yes, I like being isolated. Social contact is just not enjoyable or rewarding.

I had a relationship at one point. I don't want or plan to have another. It's not worth it. You fall in love. You have sex. And then what? Someone attractive enough and unambitious enough for me to split the bills and chores with forever would be nice, but it's just not realistic. Possible? Yes, but very much unlikely, and I'm not willing to go through any more trial-and-error just for that infinitesimal possibility. And I don't have or ever had any use for fleeting affairs.

I used to have friends. They "grew up" and I didn't, and I don't want to, because all the available options for a "grown-up's life" (here or elsewhere) seem fundamentally dysfunctional to me. Back then they seemed to share the same conviction. But I guess they didn't. And I don't actually know of anyone else IRL who does. So there's just no viable commonalities with other people my age. I barely even believe in the value of "fighting against the system" anymore, so not even that is a viable commonality. On a personal level, local people seem alien to me in all possible ways (and even in some ways I thought were impossible too). I have a couple of online friends, and it would be nice if I lived close to them, but I don't. I talk to them about how stupid people are, and about my lunch.

I wouldn't even know what to do together with other people even if I liked them and identified with them. I'd like to have someone to play ping-pong against. But that's about it, I guess. It's not something I'd upend my life for. So I spend my time watching and/or "interacting" with fictional faces on screens. That's enjoyable. Also music, and instant noodles.

I'd probably join a Buddhist monastery if there was one around. Which doesn't exactly go in the direction of isolating myself from people as much as possible. Which I guess says something about what exactly it is that I try to isolate from.
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Re: Anyone Like Being Isolated?

Postby Squaredonutwheels » Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:26 am

Keep us updated what values you forge for yourself in your solitude. I'd be interested to know them.
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Re: Anyone Like Being Isolated?

Postby CityMouse » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:26 am

It is realistic to be 90% solitary?
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Re: Anyone Like Being Isolated?

Postby Holodeck » Wed Oct 17, 2018 12:04 pm

I think in this case it's a ratio of how people are behaving vs. level of cabin fever.

I have that and it can change day by day.
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