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Selectively Mute

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Selectively Mute

Postby CityMouse » Wed Oct 03, 2018 4:36 am

I'm silent most of the time now. Quiets the voices. People might think I'm angry with them, that I'm a jerk, that I'm unfriendly, that I'm "retarded" or stupid. So be it. They can't judge me. Only God can judge me.

Anyone else?
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Re: Selectively Mute

Postby naps » Fri Oct 05, 2018 9:17 pm

Not making fun, but I think it's kind of funny that no one has said a word on this thread.

Selective mutism had come up here before. I think there's another thread somewhere.

I tried it for a short period when I was a kid, but it doesn't go over to well when you have a vindictive, domineering six foot narcissist for a mother.
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Re: Selectively Mute

Postby iabsurdlyexist » Fri Oct 05, 2018 11:41 pm

I have always been silent most of the time. People have commented on it but it's never been an issue that I know of.
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Re: Selectively Mute

Postby Holodeck » Sat Oct 06, 2018 12:21 pm

I had it bad from 3rd grade through around college. I had a teacher that ruled the school with a very histrionic narcissistic personality. It didn't help that my mom is one too. For instance, the teacher (who held back at least one student a year) claimed to my parents I'd be held back because my penmanship was bad. They were often the main reason I got bullied. My classmates would listen to them fight in the hallway over topics like these, shouting and crying would commence followed by the teacher giving everyone more work because of being ticked off at my mom. My mom wouldn't change schools because it was some matter of pride I guess and she delusionally got attention as some sort martyr with other parents. To her weren't brave enough to speak up so she did it for them.

I learned quickly in order to make it out easiest I shouldn't talk at all. There was one kid I "spoke" to. I mainly mouthed with a hint of a whisper.

Now, I get quiet and reclusive when I'm bombarded with too much stimulus. This can be not being able to hear people over noise, being stressed over something bothering me. I get especially quiet on holidays since they were the more stressful time of the year especially when thinking of bad holiday memories growing up.
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Re: Selectively Mute

Postby solemnlysworn » Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:51 pm

What is the difference between a mute and having nothing to say-- You want to communicate but cant?
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Re: Selectively Mute

Postby naps » Mon Oct 15, 2018 7:46 pm

You won't.

At least that's how I saw it when I went selectively mute as a kid; you're a threat to me. If I speak to you that implies a connection, however small, or some kind of conduit between us. I must keep you at a safe distance.

Also it was a dis: You're not worthy or significant enough for me to waste my thoughts on.
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Re: Selectively Mute

Postby solemnlysworn » Mon Oct 15, 2018 7:51 pm

I'm still struggling with a distinction here. Perhaps I'm selectively mute.

Somebody asked me for help in a train station elevator once and I completely blanked her so she cried and asked whether she's a ghost and broke down and I just kept looking forward with no intent to interact.

Or when people sit next to me in the smoking area thinking it's time for us to be intimate and I stare ahead, turning only to respond to them with a smile, before looking ahead again.
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Re: Selectively Mute

Postby naps » Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:12 pm

I'd say selective mutism is more of a defense mechanism or a voluntary reaction to trauma or abuse, whereas the examples you site, which I can also relate to, suggest an unwillingness to engage. Maybe because of disinterest or a need to protect your personal (inner or outer) space.
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Re: Selectively Mute

Postby solemnlysworn » Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:27 pm

"I won't talk to you because [some possible consequence they see from past exposure to trauma] rather than "I'm not your friend"?
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Re: Selectively Mute

Postby anathegram » Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:40 pm

pretty sure selective mutism is generally understood to be involuntary and strongly associated with social anxiety
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