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dating and isolation as a schizoid

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dating and isolation as a schizoid

Postby intpptni » Mon Oct 01, 2018 12:16 am

hi all

my father and i are both clearly schizoid. I don't see anything inherently wrong with wanting to be alone all the time-- except for the fact that I live at a college where socializing is the norm and everyone is 24/7 bothering me. i would like to be less awkward and more understanding of other people, but no matter how much i try and how much i observe others, i can't seem to get it. and i admit sometimes the social isolation starts messing with my head and i feel out of body. im climbing the walls, sometimes, but whenever i do hang out with other people to rid of this feeling, my peers say that i look weird and uncomfortable and depressed. i am incapable of genuinely laughing, even if i find something relatively funny. but im trying. i dont know what to do. i also think i want to date but it is impossible because of my unpredictability and flakiness.

anyone have advice from experience or other?
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Re: dating and isolation as a schizoid

Postby Holodeck » Mon Oct 01, 2018 3:07 pm

No one here can diagnose but it sounds like depression mixed with awkwardness due to isolation. Even if you are confident being taken from your regular comfort zone and being put into a social atmosphere will cause one to second guess actions and be, in general, overwhelmed. This can vamp up depression that was already there by 1) confirming how much you hate it though it's more like building a callous to enjoy something later. It sucks when getting it built though. 2) like a caffeine crash, people can often feel motivated to do something to the point of craving it, do it to a very large extent (more than what they should), then like pulling a muscle after working out too hard they don't feel like doing it again until later on when it cycles back.

You residing at a college would definitely drain your social quota at a much more rapid pace. I hated that about college too. I also have a problem when seeming genuine with emotions. The other day I said something about how it's awkward when someone does something for me and I can't properly show gratitude. The person I was talking to said to say thank you. Problem is I have a flat, resting sarcastic tone to my voice. I told her that. She's known me long enough to know this and said: "Yeah, that is a problem." I didn't get any more solutions from her. :|

I get my mood disorder from my dad. Mood disorders are hereditary, and his and mine are identical. About half of the month we'll be motivated to do things, high energy and have fairly easy to deal with attitudes. The other half has what my mom calls our PMS week (very sympathetic :roll: ) which involves fatigue, irritability, tension and later lots of, apathy and sleeping while getting as far from social situations as possible. Ours is a quite fast cycle but many have much longer ones.

It seems to a good extent you do want to be able to be social. I'd do what is possible to get away from campus as much as possible. Go somewhere quiet when studying for instance other than your room. That'll help with the climbing up the walls by having a different backdrop.

I've always found myself better in social circles if I don't push socializing but get out of my apartment. It doesn't have to be long but "less isolating." Also, if I spend a little time here and there in an area where I know no one is going to talk to me but does have people, then I can "get used to" being around people without pressure. It doesn't feel as uncomfortable the next time I have to be in a gathering later.
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