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Positive Self Talk

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Positive Self Talk

Postby CityMouse » Wed Sep 12, 2018 4:30 pm

So I made one last ditch effort to do mindfulness meditation. I meditated for 15 minutes and it was very peaceful. But when I tried to be mindful after meditating, I found my mind wandering a lot, revising old arguments in the form of daydreams, imagining getting sabotaged or held back in life, the usual.

Then I tried positive self talk in my head and it was great. I was able to replace about 50% of my thoughts with thoughts of my own, like gratitude, planning, etc.

I was wondering if anyone knows if I'll be able to replace most of the daydreams with this self talk? Not 100% of course, but maybe 80%?
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Re: Positive Self Talk

Postby naps » Wed Sep 12, 2018 6:24 pm

I've come up with a few key words/phrases I keep in mind in order to not get lost in maladaptive daydreaming.

One of the most useful is presence. I try to constantly remind myself to be present, not lost in some daydream deep in the right side of my brain.

I find these states creep up on me. I'm not aware I'm drifting into them until I look at the clock or some other indicator.

I wonder if these daydreaming states show up on brain scans. If so, it would be nice if I had some tiny device that monitored my brain waves and gave me a tiny electric shock whenever I started to zone out.
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Re: Positive Self Talk

Postby emillionth » Wed Sep 12, 2018 7:05 pm

naps wrote:I wonder if these daydreaming states show up on brain scans. If so, it would be nice if I had some tiny device that monitored my brain waves and gave me a tiny electric shock whenever I started to zone out.

:idea:

That's probably already possible. Just not yet in a way that wouldn't bother you all of the time as much as that electric shock would.

It probably wouldn't work for me though. It's not uncommon for me to be asking myself "where did all my time go", but it's not because of daydreaming (which as far as I can tell I don't do ever) and usually it's not because I actually zone out and fail to register what I've been doing either. I'm just really bad at estimating how much time it takes to do things, and things that supposedly "don't even count" end up taking a lot of my time, and I have trouble realizing it even after the fact.

I say that I don't daydream, but I keep wondering if I understand what daydreaming even is (maladaptive or otherwise). There's always a lot going on in my head, but most of it is either fleeting or shapeless. It's like butterflies flying around me, which I guess is one of the reasons why it can be difficult for me to tell when (on average) it's getting disproportionately grim or obsessive inside my head. I try to watch for behavioral/physiological signs instead.

The more persistent end result of whatever happens to pop up in my head tends to be a song that it reminds me of for some reason, until something else reminds me of another one. It's like a perpetual earworm contest. The more tired I am, the more "loud" and persistent and automatic it seems to be. It's like a "window into the subconscious". I can tell that it was running again and again in my head before the moment when I realized it.
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Re: Positive Self Talk

Postby naps » Wed Sep 12, 2018 7:30 pm

emillionth wrote:
naps wrote:I wonder if these daydreaming states show up on brain scans. If so, it would be nice if I had some tiny device that monitored my brain waves and gave me a tiny electric shock whenever I started to zone out.

:idea:

That's probably already possible. Just not yet in a way that wouldn't bother you all of the time as much as that electric shock would.


Maybe I could hire someone to stand quietly in my apartment and snap their fingers in my face whenever I leave the planet. They could clean the cat boxes, too.

It probably wouldn't work for me though. It's not uncommon for me to be asking myself "where did all my time go", but it's not because of daydreaming (which as far as I can tell I don't do ever) and usually it's not because I actually zone out and fail to register what I've been doing either. I'm just really bad at estimating how much time it takes to do things, and things that supposedly "don't even count" end up taking a lot of my time, and I have trouble realizing it even after the fact.


I do this. I think it all falls into the same arena. "Daydreaming" isn't the best word to describe it. It's more like rumination out of control. Is this an ADD trait? I fit one or two of them but not enough for me to believe it's an issue.

There's always a lot going on in my head, but most of it is either fleeting or shapeless. It's like butterflies flying around me, which I guess is one of the reasons why it can be difficult for me to tell when (on average) it's getting disproportionately grim or obsessive inside my head. I try to watch for behavioral/physiological signs instead.


It's like I have several levels of consciousness and whatever gauge is built in to differentiate between awareness and la-la land is faulty. I feel like there's always many different conversation/thoughts going through my head all the time and it's all to easy for what's important and what are merely flights of fancy to get switched around. I'll be making a complicated meal and all of a sudden find myself staring out the window wondering why so many people have blue cars.

The more persistent end result of whatever happens to pop up in my head tends to be a song that it reminds me of for some reason, until something else reminds me of another one. It's like a perpetual earworm contest. The more tired I am, the more "loud" and persistent and automatic it seems to be. It's like a "window into the subconscious". I can tell that it was running again and again in my head before the moment when I realized it.


It gets a little easier for me when I'm tired, I think. I'm more often mentally tired than physically due to bad sleep hygiene and my penchant for spending several hours a day in front of the TV. When my brain it tired, it's quieter. It's easier for me to boss it around.
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Re: Positive Self Talk

Postby anathegram » Wed Sep 12, 2018 7:44 pm

naps wrote:I wonder if these daydreaming states show up on brain scans. If so, it would be nice if I had some tiny device that monitored my brain waves and gave me a tiny electric shock whenever I started to zone out.

this is more or less how neurofeedback works (minus the electric shock)
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Re: Positive Self Talk

Postby naps » Wed Sep 12, 2018 8:05 pm

I'm sure my insurance wouldn't even begin to cover that.

A lot of the time I know, on some level, when I am beginning to slip away. I also know that with some concentration, I can stop it from happening before I fall in.

The thing is, being constantly aware, constantly cognizant, is tiring. Almost nerve wracking. Or maybe I don't have the proper tools or energy to fight it.

*watches cursor blink for 3.5 minutes before hitting 'submit'*

oops.
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Re: Positive Self Talk

Postby salles » Fri Sep 14, 2018 9:11 am

CityMouse wrote:
I was wondering if anyone knows if I'll be able to replace most of the daydreams with this self talk? Not 100% of course, but maybe 80%?

No one can answer that for you.
It is a minute to minute, hour to hour...constant effort/discipline.It requires undoing a life-time of programming....
Not easy. Worth trying. Good luck!
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Re: Positive Self Talk

Postby smirks » Sat Sep 15, 2018 6:22 pm

This whole thread is fascinating to me, if only because I don't get the point of pep talks, key words, meditation, anything like that. Like, I know people do them, and I know people have success with them, but I don't understand how they work. I remember one of my professors trying to give me a pep talk once before a very big assessment and I think I just stared at him like he was insane the whole time, because it's always apparent to me that it is a pep talk, that there's a manipulative aspect to it, and I just can't imagine the idea of trying to manipulate myself, because I'll certainly be aware I'm doing it.

I think it's the same with yoga and meditation. I don't feel like I get any sense of calmness or inner peace or spirituality or anything like that.
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Re: Positive Self Talk

Postby iabsurdlyexist » Sat Sep 15, 2018 7:26 pm

That makes two of us.
Dx: SPD/AvPD/Bipolar
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Re: Positive Self Talk

Postby Holodeck » Sat Sep 15, 2018 8:48 pm

naps wrote:I do this. I think it all falls into the same arena. "Daydreaming" isn't the best word to describe it. It's more like rumination out of control. Is this an ADD trait? I fit one or two of them but not enough for me to believe it's an issue.


*Clears throat*

All of that is me explaining how it works without saying it's ADD/ADHD

I wouldn't be on meds if I felt I could regulate it on my own with something like tea. I tried it and it knocked it down notches but not enough for me to not need to distract myself from my intrusive OCD. I don't know what traits you do or don't have but there are bad descriptions with most of the traits. They aren't clear at all. These in particular made me question my psychiatrist.

Behavioral: aggression, excitability, fidgeting, hyperactivity, impulsivity, irritability, lack of restraint, or persistent repetition of words or actions

I get aggressive/irritable when I can't make myself do things when I should.

"Excitability," impulsiveness, and lack of restraint comes from wanting to do anything to have a better time than what's happening.

"I need to do this but I remembered my favorite show is on and it's a new episode and I could record it but I deserve a break anyway! Afterward I can start work once my apartment needs cleaned. I would work better in a tidy environment!"

I fidgeting is to stimulate dopamine. Exercise does that. If nothing else I pace for effing hours. Also, hyperactivity isn't just physical. It's mostly mental. I think of my meds as AdBlock. Without them I'm going through clickbait ads rushing through my head. Some I like, and some lead to OCD for me.

Repetition of words is mainly because I get too out of it "go to" word instead. I have waited to submit so many times before to see if a word wasn't repeated a half a dozen times. Repetitive actions are there for me so I don't forget. I find they lead to tapping things for no reason, locking and unlocking doors, retyping words that weren't misspelled and doing it a ton more in case that wasn't enough.

absent-mindedness, difficulty focusing, forgetfulness, problem paying attention, or short attention span

Haha I don't have that! I only have those when I'm doing something I don't want to do and that's why I don't pay attention. I mean why would I focus on something so boring?! I totally pay attention to the things I'd rather be paying attention to that wind up being things I do until I have to finish the boring thing under stress last minute and work better because. adrenaline. is. a. stimulant. Oh.
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