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What do you do to unwind after a long, hard socialization?

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What do you do to unwind after a long, hard socialization?

Postby smirks » Fri Jul 27, 2018 4:10 pm

Today at work we had a mandatory social lunch thing, and I very much dread these sort of mandatory group celebratory events, if only because they are considered a "treat" and they are very much not for me.

So, I'm back from that, and going on a family vacation tomorrow that I feel I will not enjoy and have no autonomy or escape from, and I need some quick relaxation ideas.

What do you do?
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Re: What do you do to unwind after a long, hard socialization?

Postby Holodeck » Fri Jul 27, 2018 4:13 pm

Mainly watch shows/movies, listen to music, sleep.
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Re: What do you do to unwind after a long, hard socialization?

Postby nis » Fri Jul 27, 2018 10:27 pm

When I return from long periods of forced socialization, I avoid all social interaction for months afterwards, isolating myself in my bedroom and immersing myself in solitary pursuits such as reading, computer games, and tv/movies.

People have no idea how draining constant, long term socializing is for those with SPD. Every year I tell myself "This is the last time I am going to subject myself to this torture" - but somehow find myself sucked into socializing with family despite my intense aversion to doing so. I am going to have to do something drastic to avoid family gatherings - like relocate thousands of miles away and not tell anyone.
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Re: What do you do to unwind after a long, hard socialization?

Postby Ascender » Sat Jul 28, 2018 7:00 am

I'd suggest scheduling your down time for a set duration. Choose a creative project (anything - writing, painting, building, etc), and tell anyone who might interrupt your pre-planned down time that you will be busy with said project and can't be disturbed.

This will seem totally reasonable to folks who don't understand the disorder. It will force you to stay away from micro depressions, and regardless of how much you actually get done, you'll have something unique to appreciate or continue creating later on.

Making electronic music on a scheduled 24 hour marathon is my secret instant-recharge weapon :). The end products are usually so terrible that I have to laugh at myself a bit - bonus humor!
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Re: What do you do to unwind after a long, hard socialization?

Postby orinoco » Sun Jul 29, 2018 7:34 pm

It's our main problem to "unwind" from stress. We lack the ability of neurotypics to regulate stress automatically with the limbic system in the brain. No matter what we do to relax it will never be as efficient as the genuine stress regulation you learn when being a child between 1,5 and 3 years from your mother. If you don't you have a lifetime problem of stress regulation. So no matter what our mind makes up to "unwind" from stress, it will take longer, will be less efficient and much more painful and exhausting. The best advice I can give: do what you enjoy and do what you enjoy when you were a child.
With me it's reading my favorite comic of my childhood. Although my rational mind thinks that other comics are much better, it's still this comic that tones down my stress i.a. the best.
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Re: What do you do to unwind after a long, hard socialization?

Postby naps » Sun Jul 29, 2018 11:09 pm

Just walking in the door helps me unwind. Each time, I ritually lock each lock and if it's been a particularly annoying day, sometimes I'll mutter "..and stay out!". Sometimes I'll count the days/hours until I have to go back out again.

There is a small window of time while I unpack my work things and set up for the next day's job where I will answer the door without getting overly angry, but once I'm showered, fed, and medicated, it would take a fire or a search warrant for me to open that door again.

Many disturbances these past few days due to the renovations going on in my building. Most of them unnecessary. It's funny how most people are wont to ask for help with things they can easily take care of on themselves.
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Re: What do you do to unwind after a long, hard socialization?

Postby Floaty73 » Mon Aug 20, 2018 4:34 pm

Go for a long walk with my dog.

-- Mon Aug 20, 2018 5:34 pm --

Go for a long walk with my dog.
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Re: What do you do to unwind after a long, hard socialization?

Postby inkblotter » Fri Sep 14, 2018 8:05 am

I have developed my own set of skills that i use while socializing so it doesnt wear me out too much. i do many things for many situations like if someone talks to me i try to bring in a third person into the conversation and then make them talk to each other. when my brother is around i let him do all the talking so i can sit quietly and be with myself. another thing is if someone wants to discuss a topic like politics or music or something then i feign ignorance. i do such things so that people see me at events but if you ask them what did i say to them, they will be lost for an answer. i also sometimes switch between this and putting on a mask. but the mask is too tiring to keep up most of the time.
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Re: What do you do to unwind after a long, hard socialization?

Postby smirks » Sun Sep 16, 2018 10:25 pm

I had a bit of a rough week, where by Friday I was done with humanity (sort of overdramatic, but my feelings at the time.) Besides watching a good amount of Netflix (Shameless is my current binge), one thing I kind of notice that I do is really try and organize my life, maybe to compensate for feeling helpless and adrift in parts of my life where collaboration with others has failed.

Part of my interpersonal issues definitely have to do with control, autonomy and trust -- not all of them, but at least some of them, so I think it comes from a place of re-estabilishing control and doing something good for myself.
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Re: What do you do to unwind after a long, hard socialization?

Postby CityMouse » Mon Sep 17, 2018 2:49 pm

"Control, autonomy, and trust" are exactly some of my issues when it comes to dealing with people.
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