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Schizoid or Avoidant?

Schizoid Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

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Re: Schizoid or Avoidant?

Postby iabsurdlyexist » Thu Mar 08, 2018 5:05 pm

Holodeck wrote:I wanna jump in and say that I think competitive nature is actually more likely an inferior mindset since they feel they need to prove themselves so badly. Not necessarily for every competitive person, but after I thought about a lot of people I knew with that nature...yeah all of them were excruciatingly insecure.


Not really competitive but I do have high standards for myself. As for being insecure, there is definitely anxiety. However, I know exactly what I am and am not good at. This is where the confusion sets in because the mind and body can disagree in reactions and neither is consistent. I still think I tend to rotate along a spectrum of traits consisting of schizoid, avoidant and schizotypal. Supposedly borderline but I have enough on my plate.
Dx: SzPD/AvPD/Bipolar2 Considering: ASD/Schizoaffective
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Re: Schizoid or Avoidant?

Postby Holodeck » Thu Mar 08, 2018 6:05 pm

iabsurdlyexist wrote:Not really competitive but I do have high standards for myself.


Same. Sometimes I set them too high, and I'll be annoyed with myself later. Still not what I'd actually call competitive. I normally set high standards and goals due to feeling I'd prefer things to be done correctly the first time, or because I'm bored.

As for being insecure, there is definitely anxiety. However, I know exactly what I am and am not good at.This is where the confusion sets in because the mind and body can disagree in reactions and neither is consistent.


I'm wondering if you grew up around people who tried to instill high standards in you. That's a good part of my schizoid cynicism tbh. I was taught that if I didn't do it right then I'd be in trouble, and I'd regret it if I had to rely on someone else. This was a good lesson to make me self sufficient, but it definitely put more weight on my shoulders. I've never truly felt like I have ever had time off. I always feel like I should be doing something. It's exhausting.
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Re: Schizoid or Avoidant?

Postby iabsurdlyexist » Thu Mar 08, 2018 6:58 pm

Holodeck wrote:I'm wondering if you grew up around people who tried to instill high standards in you. That's a good part of my schizoid cynicism tbh. I was taught that if I didn't do it right then I'd be in trouble, and I'd regret it if I had to rely on someone else. This was a good lesson to make me self sufficient, but it definitely put more weight on my shoulders. I've never truly felt like I have ever had time off. I always feel like I should be doing something. It's exhausting.


Actually, there wasn't much parenting at all, they just kind of let me do my thing and it probably had a lot to do with me just doing what I needed to do with no fuss. I think of my little INTJ self as initially all business so I could get back in my head or explore. I still very much dislike leaving completable things outstanding. Being depressed and procrastinating was an odd feeling. Of course, something happened in the 1-6 year old time frame but I'm not quite sure what. There may have some parenting or personality shift.

It wasn't until I met my wife where I started to feel like I needed to get doing something or be judged. That can be exhausting and to be honest, probably a decent chunk of stress. She has made me a more well rounded person but being this way is completely opposite of my natural inclination.
Dx: SzPD/AvPD/Bipolar2 Considering: ASD/Schizoaffective
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Re: Schizoid or Avoidant?

Postby anathegram » Thu Mar 08, 2018 8:45 pm

Holodeck wrote:Someone those few months ago said it sounded cute, and I automatically felt horrible remembering all of my bad grades in school and kids calling me retarded due to it while making fun of how I had trouble stringing together sentences without accidentally saying the same words two or three times.

I don't think I really experienced bullying at school. My problem was that as my peers got older I felt less and less able to understand what was going on around me socially. (When we were kids I thought we had agreed that grown-ups were stupid, but now everyone wanted to pretend to be a grown-up.)

I was usually in conflict with my teachers though. My view was that it didn't matter whether I did the work as assigned or not; they were usually quite firm that it did. I finally dropped out after I became mentally incapable of following instruction, and I've pretty much kept to myself since.
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Re: Schizoid or Avoidant?

Postby EmpathySucks » Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:59 pm

Holodeck wrote:People need to lighten up. :P

Bully. That's what people tell me. I think they need to chill out.
Yup. Everyone sucks at adulting. Even adults.

Seriously, who let them out of kindergarten?
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Re: Schizoid or Avoidant?

Postby anathegram » Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:07 am

CityMouse wrote:Happens all the time. My daydreams are not deliberately conjured up. They just pop into my mind automatically, as if they emerged from my subconscious. I get aggressive and then a group of imaginary authority figures like Dr. Phil or Dr. Drew will try to make me look stupid. Or my ex bf who was emotionally abusive and way more aggressive than I could ever hope to be will enter the picture to sabotage my efforts to defend my honor.

On reflection, I think I actually experience something very similar. Again, I wouldn't describe it as daydreaming. It's more like my brain keeps going "here's what so-and-so would say in this situation" whether I want it to or not. Sometimes it's judgemental, usually it's just conversational. A bit like simulating a person, but in a way that I can't consciously shut off. If I'm stressed out, it's almost constant.

Probably everyone does that to some extent, but I guess not to the point of finding it distressing. For my part, I sometimes find it very alienating to interact with the person afterwards and discover they aren't behaving like they do in my head.
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